Acclimating...

Greetings Friends!! Well I've been here a week now and am fairly well over the jet lag. It is bloody cold here, though not really more than CO or even RI this time of year - consistantly in the 30s - I've just been on foot for everything, so I'm much more aware of it. I have managed to get my American-in- Germany drivers license (there are lots of nifty road signs I had to learn...).

You know you're on an Army base when you say this sentence: "Oh, Sergent - do you have a minute to take a picture of me in front of that tank?"...that was one of my more favorite things to have had the opportunity to say since I've been here...

So far, a 'typical' day is shaping up to be: 0630 workout, breakfast/reset, go to the post chapel, meet folks, do in-processing stuff and try to jump on anything I see the other chaplains doing. It looks like I will get to see/particiapate in a singles solider's retreat in two week - this will be fun, since I've only atteneded a couples retreat so far! (and yes, I was sinlge for that, too! *lol*) I hope to do some ride-alongs with the local MPs and perhaps some range time with one of the batallions that will be deploying later this year.

Personally, I've been doing very well with the exception of some confusion on my housing that has come up. Some of the SGTs around here are telling me my orders will not cover the place I'm staying in, though it is the typical place I stay on these stints - so, not sure if there's some European thing my command/I am not aware of. Do pray for me that this will be favorably resolved as it could mean a thousand dollars out of my own pocket if it goes badly.

Other than that, I've been enjoying meeting new people, exploring my neighborhood, on and off post and checking out downtown Bamberg's Christmas Market. I'm thinking I'll head down to Nurenberg over the weekend and see what's happening there. Brats are perhaps the worlds most perfect food here...

I'm still working through buggs on gettings pics uploaded...so...the above was the only one I could get today... more to come! - ter

Greetings From Bamberg!

Hi Friends! I have safely arrived at Bamber USA Garrison! I only have a few minutes to write before this place closes, so I'll be brief:
you can snail mail me at :
Bamberg Inn Lodging
USAG Bamberg
1LT Terri King
CMR 459
APO AE 09139

I'm working on a cell/skype, just sent off my addy to the Geeksquad folks who have my laptop, so that'll still be a while...

I'm doing terrific, despite jetlagging out of my skull...have jumped in with both feet, as usual - more to come - thanks for all the GREAT encourgaments/notes/ prayers - SOOO appriciated - keep up the good work! - love, Ter

Traveling!

Hey Guys - Do pray for me today - I am traveling and it looks like I will not have my laptop for a few days? Weeks? Best Buy/ Geek Squad has it and won't let it go... they tell me they'll mail it to me IN GERAMNY... pray that that happens qucikly - I dont' think I can get skype/firgure out skype w/o it... - so, prayers too that I will adjust well w/o close friends at hand. I'm doing very well - finshed calsses last night (!) and am stoked to be going!! Stay in touch (I will find termainls along the way) - love Ter

GERMANY!

Greetings, Friends! First of all, let me update you on some of my life...
- I have PASSED my Doctrinal Orals (a really big, scary paper that one completes and defends in front of a panel of 2 professors that one signs up for for no credit and cannot graduate without completing...very scary...copies available upon request)
- Tomorrow is my last day at my CPE internship, Porter Adventist Hospital. I've had an incredible learning experience and have LOVED working with the other chaplains (AMAZING!!) and staff at this excellent hospital. I will genuinely miss being here.
- It now looks VERY good that I will GRADUATE next semester!!!
- I leave for Bamberg, Germany this Thursday...ok, I can't really just slide that in, can I?

So, here's the story...
About a month ago I woke from a very strange dream. I can't remember what the dream is now, but I remember having the definite impression that the Lord had told me to get my butt to Germany. When I was more conscious, I thought "Humm, wasn't that a strange dream?" and pretty much was going to let it go at that. However, the next night in one of my classes one of my classmates told a story of a young Vet he had just met that changed my mind; it seemed to me to be a sign that the Lord really had spoken. Now, I knew that there were 2 slots open for the Germany practicum for the Reserves. I also knew that there are several hundred slobbering Chaplain Candidates drooling over this assignment. But, I put in my paperwork trusting that the Lord would do what he would do. Sure enough, about two weeks later my commander called me up and told me I had been chosen for the assignment. This is, needless to say, quite an honor.

I will depart in a few days for Bamberg which is about 45 minutes north of Nuremberg in central Germany. I don't speak a lick of German, so I think this will be a really interesting time! I will be there through the holiday, returning in late January to complete my seminary education. I will be posting pictures and updates often, so do keep checking back every few days starting Monday. I plan on using Skype to be able to touch base with folks, so if you have an account, let me know! I'm mostly ready to go now, just finishing one last class Wednesday night, so I just need your prayers and support now!

Prayer Requests:
- For me to be fully open to what ever He has planned for me for this time.
- Travel mercies/ good connections
- Culture Shock!
- Divine appointments
- God's peace to be on my family as I'm overseas for the holidays - I'm not normally with my family for the holidays, but I know they worry about me when I leave the country.
- The Lord's continued favor as I learn to minister to and with the military.

Seasons of Change...

I love the Fall. I have finally decided that it is my favorite time of year. One can enjoy the comfort of long pants, yet still wear a T-shirt. It is also a time of winding down. All summer is a hurried, mad dash to enjoy as much outdoor goodness as physically possible before the snows come to dust our doors once again. And Winter is a huddled misery of waiting. The Fall is an in-between time. It is neither blazing hot nor freezing cold on a consistent basis.

This fall is reminding me of my life and the seasons of change that I have and am going through. I am currently in a program called CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) - it is part of my seminary education, but also counts toward national accreditation as a chaplain. This is a VERY intense program of professional and personal development. As part of this program I have an internship working at Porter Adventist Hospital here in Denver. I meet people from EVERY walk of life three days a week. I am learning how to engage a total stranger with care and sensitivity. It is truly a blessing, honor and privilege to be in this position of trust both with the hospital as well as patients.

Everyone suffers loss and grieves. So have I. This fall I am thinking a lot about loss and the resulting hope that eventually can come of it. Loss makes room for newness - not necessarily newness that we would have wanted, but none the less, newness that we eventually get the opportunity to choose back.

God willing, I will be graduating from seminary and continuing the journey toward Army Chaplaincy this May. The feeling of transition is strong in me now - loss (or change) of the good things I have gained here - professional and personal friendships, a stable place to call 'home' - and am facing both the grief of that change and also preparing to open myself to the new opportunities and friends that are waiting to be. Please keep me in prayer - love, Ter

Summer Pictures...

Hey Gang - I hope your summers are going well. I've been 'slaving' away at my summer class during the week, but have been getting out into the outstanding nature of CO on the weekends - here are some pics I've taken over the last few weeks. It's springtime in the mountains here. the mountain is Holy Cross, a 14,000 ft mountain in the Sawatch mountain range. We were not able to summit, but I did get a picture of the summit from 13,300 ft. The waterfall pic is from Portland, OR when I was at the Covenant Annual Meeting last month and many of the flower picture are from Herman's Gulch. God bless and stay in touch! - peace, ter

Operation Desert Locust

This morning as I drove into work through the parking lot, I noticed there was a locust on the lamp post I parked in front of. As I adjusted my Beret and walked toward the building, I noticed he had friends...So I find myself in my first Locust Invasion. Now, there are lots of operations happening out here in Texas with 'high speed' (the Army word for 'Really Cool') titles like Operation Warrior Command and Operation Boots on the Ground. So it makes me want to have a really cool title for my little Hospital operation. So I think I'm going to settle on Operation Desert Locust.

Things here are going well. I continue to do lots of different things in a given week from visiting patients and ministering to them to attending trainings on things like MasCals (we did another one at a different venue yesterday) to going out to the ranges on post and visiting some of the training operations happening out there to getting a chance to preach at a chapel service or led worship. Each day brings with it it's own challenges and opportunities. As I wrap up my time here and start to think about getting back to civilian life (I leave next Thursday), I find myself reflecting again on this past year in comparison to these last few weeks. All year I felt like I was just dying for affirmation, but no matter what affirmation I got it was not enough. I came here expecting to learn things but received so much more; I feel like all the affirmation I needed last year has been poured out on me here. It feels like everything I've put my hand to here has met with some measure of success.

The Lord has been so gracious to me. It seems to me that the lessons of grace the Lord has been teaching me have paid huge dividends here. It has often been tempting for me to be very hard on myself and expect an unreasonable standard of myself; I have used my 'get out of jail free' card often and it has increased my ability to do the work the Lord has given.

Thanks for staying with me and praying for me - I know that I would not survive these times without such a faithful prayer and friend base. Here's how you can be praying for me as I wrap up my last week:
- for continued divine appointment with paitents and staff
- for continued good working relationships with the Chaplains (that we'd all finish strong together)
- ***For strength and speed on my physical fitness test that I must pass next Wends (20th - 5.30AM)*** - that I would continue to engage all that the Lord has for me here and not 'check out' early

Community House

What does it mean to be a family? I know, for those of you who know me well, you groan…yes, I’m on this topic again. But it is an obsession…so, we drive on…

What does it mean to be a family? (Dad, don't freak out, I haven't seceded from the King family, just thinking a little bigger). Since I’ve been working in hospital ministry these last few weeks, I’ve spent a lot of time doing family oriented trainings. Yesterday, I did one on the “7 Habits of Highly Effective Families.” Now, I’m not sure ANY family is shooting for “Highly Effective”…I think most would just be satisfied with “Maximally Functional For Where We Are In Life.” Yet workshops abound (I didn’t even realize…) and I’m beginning to catch some repeating themes: read the book “The 5 Love Languages” (so the suspense doesn’t kill you, they are: physical touch, quality time, acts of service, words of encouragement, and gift giving); have a plan or vision or mission for the family to focus on, be open to change and input from each member of the family, always be working on improving communication and good will amongst family members. Ok. How is this different from the Christian community working together the way Christ intended? This is a very old question for me, but one I’ve felt is perhaps not valid to ask until recently… so now I’m asking and I REALLY do want ALL your feedback – the good, the bad and the ugly. I'm tired of having this roll around in my brain - I'm willing to let y'all in a bit, so here goes:

I am 33 years old and single. There have been moments of deep discontent with my singleness, but I find they are usually when I am under an inordinate amount of stress and when the stressors pass, my craving to be married tends to go with it - not to say I'm not still open, but the urgency passes. This is forcing me to ask several questions: am I created to be single (now, do not read: without family, read: without spouse) for life? And what does it look like for me to have meaningful family as a adult? Most people have a biological drive to have children and thus, create their family. For whatever reasons, I do not seem to have this drive. However, this does not mean I do not want to have a family – I find that I very often want to gather other singles together and create a family in this sort of community (or perhaps adopt children some day). And I have thought this for a very long time. If I am to be single, does that naturally follow that I am to be without close family ties? I don’t think so, at least, I don’t read scripture that way… And I am finding there are others out there who want the same or similar things as singles and even as married couples…

In the last few months I have been thinking more and more seriously about creating something I think of as Community House (CH) (working title only, please don’t spear me over the cheesy title) – A place where three to five folks (married and/or singles) live together in intentional community, working in the home as a family – we have a common mission (here it’s still fuzzy for me what that could be), common commitments to Jesus and each other and our community at large. I envision a once a week dinner/bible study together where we can pray and touch base with each other (each member taking responsibility to led alternately). Now there are two tough parts to this for me: one – what’s the mission? And two – how do I do this as a member of the Army? (second one being harder to reconcile).

The mission thing, I think of two roads – one, we prayerfully choose a mission together and aim our lives and resources to it; I’m not sure this would be terribly feasible for most members of the community, as I assume they will all be well along in their careers. Two – we all do our careers, but use home as a touchstone to keep us grounded in Christian community (like a, oh say, FAMILY) and as a resource to love the hurting and lost people we come into contact with in our day-to-day lives. The problem I see here is perhaps feeling like we’d be starting a church or somehow conflicting with the community and ministry of the churches we’re involved in …humm…

The other problem, for me anyway, is how do I do this as a highly mobile member of the Army? And just in general, how do I keep a sense of community and family as I move every few years? Is this idea meant to be transportable? Am I supposed to establish these communities wherever I land? That feels schizophrenic to me…and not very ‘familyesque.’ I have no solution to this one. Though this will not be forever, it will be for the next few years...Thoughts?

As a parting note – the picture here is of a collage I did during that workshop yesterday. I'm not really a 'collage-type girl,' but I found I was very enthusiastic about this (which also inspired me to get off my duff about talking about these ideas). It is everything (well, mostly anyway) that I would like CH to be, represent and do. At one time, the things on this card were things I needed to receive, now they feel more like things I want to give; not to say I’m ‘fine’ or ‘done,’ just to say I’ve received so much of this my heart overflows.

So, I feel very vulnerable putting this out here, so do be gentle with me, but do be honest – is this something I should shoot for? Is it something good? Or is it a twisted idea from an adult who refuses to ‘grow up?’ Feel free to ask whatever you need to clarify any points. Thanks y’all, and as always, keep me posted on prayer requests and updates from your lives. – love, Ter

Army Practicum...

Hey Team – just thought I’d put out an update. I’m currently in TX at an Army Hospital doing a summer practicum with the Army. I will be doing something called CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) in the fall, hopefully in a hospital setting, so this is GREAT preparation for me! Thanks for all your prayers and encouragement this past semester – it has meant the world to me. As far as I can tell, I did well in all my classes – so it looks like there’s only one more full year of Seminary! I survived Greek and Hebrew!! I’ve put off writing because so much has happened…where does one start? Well, I thought I’d give you a page from my recent journaling for your prayers and consideration…

25 May 2007
It’s been a better day, still emotionally exhausting (too much information too fast), but I’m starting to feel like I am beginning to understand more of the conversations here and am beginning to participate in more meaningful ways. I’ve wanted to get out to do patient visits the last two days, but other stuff keeps coming up, and then the day’s over. It’s frustrating because I can’t tell if I’m just hiding because it still makes me a little nervous to get started (I think I’m better once I get going) or if it’s just that there’s more stuff I’m trying to get a grip on and I don’t know when or if they’ll be offered again so I’m trying to capitalize on what’s in front of me. Some of both, I’m sure.

I participated in a Mass Casualty exercise this morning. It was sort of fun because the mood was fairly light (soldiers who were playing the injured were in great moods), but still somewhat stressful as I was trying to take it fairly seriously and learn (VERY quickly) what I should and should not be doing as a chaplain in such an event. CH Cotton was great to follow around today; he’s very patent with me.


I feel like I’m learning volumes about myself and this job – here’s my list so far:
When I am in culture shock and am not working with a team of people I know, I:
- Am mercilessly perfectionistic with myself
- Need to talk/connect with friends like mad (try desperately to re-establish security in at least one area/space in my life)
- Find it difficult to process large volumes of information, because I’m spending so much energy trying to not look like an idiot and connect with the person I’m talking to
- Get frustrated easily (feel very impatient and get angry quickly, though I usually do not express it outwardly)
- Feel overwhelmed, adding to all of the above

Things I’m learning about this job:
- It’s like many other jobs; there are people, tasks and systems – sometimes people loaf around and it fouls up others, sometimes people are apathetic about their work and sometimes they love their jobs and do it with enthusiasm; in or out of uniform, Americans are still Americans.
- In a Mass Casualty situation, keep asking people: where patients are being moved to (this can change frequently – keep paper so you can track what floors everyone ends up on); and how people are doing (staff and patients)
- When doing patient visits: ask what their religious background is and if they have people visiting them (offer to liaison with their religious group as necessary)
- This office is very laid back – I do not feel micro-managed; the chaplains here are very willing to help me grow and will stop what they’re doing almost immediately to mentor me (wow!)
- Marriage retreats are interesting to attend as a single person – I think maybe I’ll ‘provide’ for these rather than perform as long as I am single!

One thing did disturb me today at the MasCas. There was a ‘casualty’ who was dying and unconscious – I was available and called to pray over him and no one knew his name. There was nothing identifying him – no Army ID tags, nothing on his paper tag. I prayed for him as a Christian, but it felt so inadequate. Was there something else I should have done? In real life, I think this would have deeply disturbed me – I think I would have worked the hospital system a lot to try and get a name on him. No one should die without their name being spoken over them. It just seemed so sad.

As for the rest of it – the fake burn injuries, cuts, abrasions, disfiguring breaks, puncture wounds with debris sticking out of them…well, I think those images would bother me too, but I don’t know – I felt like I could handle being there. A lot of it could have been just that it was such a relatively ‘easy’ atmosphere. In any case, I do think I got a sense of what a chaplain does today. We pray, comfort, reassure and connect people. What a fascinating job…

Feeling Better...

I was talking to a friend recently (I can't actually remember who...) but she told me that she's convinced that all of life is a continual process of tearing down and rebuilding. I think I can safely say that the last 10 months have been a real time of tearing down for me. The Lord is breaking my dependence on myself and my idolatry of people. Yet, strangely, he's not calling me away from trusting the instincts he has given me, nor is he pulling me out of community. I think this is a deep and mysterious (at least to me) work of grace happening in my life. It has been a time of fire, where I have loved deeply, been hurt just as deeply, and have fallen (read:*splat*) on the strength of the Lord more solidly than perhaps any other time in my life. I know He is real. I know He is FOR me, all the time, in all of my messiness, just as I am. I am both in awe of that and completely flabbergasted by that: why does he bother with me/us?!

In some ways, it comes back to identity, doesn't it? Am I: the thing I do, or the One I belong to? As I was leaving RI to come here, one of the deepest lessons the Lord was trying to impress on me was this cornerstone of identity: I am/was not a Campus Staff Member for InterVarsity, I am not a graduate student, I am not a 2nd LT in the Army. I'm not. I'm a daughter of Jesus; beloved, cherished child of God. This too, is a mystery to me...

Thank you all for praying for me and encouraging me, especially in light of my last post. It has been an impossibly difficult semester. But this is what it is taking to break me of my perfectionism, and I am growing in gratitude for the new freedoms that this is affording me.

I have 7 weeks left to this semester, and several large projects to still go, but I finally feel that I have settled into a place to trust and peace about the whole thing; thank you for keeping me close to God. I will complete my last Hebrew language class next week (it's only a 10week semester for that particular class) and it looks like I will be passing it respectable well (B-ish). This is sort of a fun thought: I started the semester at 18 credits (16 at Den Sem, 2 at my Denomination) and have wheedled my way down to 14 as of next week.

The following are quotes that have been resonating with my soul and informing my thinking over the last two years, I thought I'd share them for your edification:

On Communion intersecting life:
If Jesus doesn’t receive us, give thanks for us and break us so that he can give us back to ourselves and others, we will be left in our bundles of isolated deceptions. – Steve Thulson, a Sunday service, 2007

‘Love is as strong as death.’ There is a convergence of love with death in which both open the door to the unknown and uncontrollable. – Richard Hess “Song of Songs”p33.

The Shema (sort of rule of life) of Mother Theresa
The fruit of silence is prayer
The fruit of prayer is faith
The fruit of faith is love
The fruit of love is service
The fruit of service is peace

The Shema of Terri
The fruit of silence is choice
The fruit of choice is potentially wisdom
The fruit of wisdom is peace
The fruit of peace is love
The fruit of love is service
The fruit of service is life

The Shema of Hell
The fruit of silence is anxiety
The fruit of anxiety is despair
The fruit of despair is hatred
The fruit of hatred is self-service
The fruit of self-service is death

Idolatry…leads to disillusionment and despair. –Integrative Theology, p195

There is no pit that the love of God is not deeper still. -Corrie Ten Boom

If you seem empty of any feeling, rejoice- you are his ransomed bride. If those you cherish seem not to love you, and dark assails from every side, still yours the promise: come what may, in loss and triumph, in laughter, crying, in want and riches, in living, dying, that you are purchased as you are. – Peter Aschan (1726-1813), a hymn

It takes so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the enlightenment or the courage to pay the price. One has to abandon altogether the search for security and reach out to the risk of living with both arms. One has to embrace the world like a lover. One has to accept pain as a condition of existence. One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing. One needs a will, apt always to total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying. -“The Shoes of the Fisherman’

Update on the 'Bat Signal'

Hey Gang - I just wanted drop a quick note to let you know I'm doing ok - still overwhelmed, but not panicky anymore. I've been able to get a lot of the off campus work (interviewing various pastors and chaplains) done as well as my denominational conference (I took another class with them for a week). I seem to be catching up on my workload in an acceptable fashion. Thank you for praying - the difference was almost immediate. - more soon - keep it up! - love, ter

Spring?

'Spring' semester; such an optimistic term right now... Well, here we are, kids - the heart of seminary: my last semester of BOTH languages, one pastoral theology class, one religious services class, one preaching class and two learning contracts (one on grace the other on pastoral identity) - anyone else hearing "...and a partridge in a pear tree..."

As you can tell, my humor is a bit off. I care a great deal about this semester - the things I am and will be learning will be foundational to my life in ministry; and that scares me to death. the implications of all that I'm learning feel very heavy and I don't know how to encapsulate what I'm thinking/feeling other than to say I feel overwhelmed on an almost daily basis. It is very hard to know the grace of God in the middle of this. And it's not because I think God is being ungracious to me, I think I'm allowing my fears to be the thing I focus on.

So I need you, body of Christ. Pray for me. Not that I succeed or even do well academically, but that my heart would know peace in this time of trail; that my victory will be communion with the Father in spite of the circumcises. It is the age old battle, I do know that - will I trust God or my eyes. You know where I long to be: entreat the Father to strengthen me to be there.

Thanks, friends. - love, Ter