Dear Ones
Well, I’ve been in Afghanistan for nearly 2 months now and my experience continues to bear out the Army mantra: hurry up and wait. Only, this is the steroids version. Allow me to elaborate (i.e.: vent)…
When I first arrived on 4 AUG I was told I might be out to my unit in a week – this was meant to impress me, I now realize… Initially I was told one unit, then there was a second thought that emerged from …? But no, the original thought ended up prevailing. All that took nearly 3 weeks. Then I was told I could get a heilo out to my new unit… that took 2 more days…And all of this, I’m told actually took place in record time…*sigh*
So, in the meantime, while I was trapped at what we call a ‘flagpole’ (flagpole= place where great amounts of scary level rank hang out creating a gravitational pull that causes everyone in the immediate vicinity to completely lose their minds…) I joined a band, did some opening prayers for services, got my runtime to fairly fantastic (for me), met a bunch of folks, and built my first piece of ‘furniture.’ The last item was especially fun as there was a fellow chaplain there who was equally stuck as I was – he also is a master cabinet craftsman…so he taught me the very cool/fun and interesting basics of cabinet and, in this case, table making…I can’t wait to have a garage to experiment in…
Finally, after all that drama (including a very cool divine appointment where a young man asked me to lead him to Christ), I finally met my new unit – the 1-121 IN (infantry) BN (Battalion). I’ve never worked closely with an IN BN before and in some ways it’s everything I’ve heard of but in a lot of ways it’s not. It’s very unusual as a female to assigned to an IN unit as they are one of the few still exclusively male units. I think I got the assignment in large part because the unit’s located on a JTF (joint task force) post which has folks from every branch of service (except Coast Guard – sorry my Guardian/Coastie brethren) and there were already 2 other male chaplains assigned to the unit. It seems like a strange set up to me, hey, who am I to blow against the wind? If I get the group of folks I will be working with consistently, I’m happy.
So, the first 2 weeks were basically ‘get acclimated’ to FOB (forward operating bases- wartime posts) Lightning in Gardez (Norther, and East near the Pakistan border)– in some ways, literally – I’m now at 7,800ft in altitude (and yes, my run time immediately tanked…again…*sigh* but I can look forward to being AMAZING when I get back to 1 mile high!). I have found that most of the camp services are lay led which leaves me time to do sermon prep and do ministry of presence – a luxury I never felt I had enough of in Kuwait. It’s also freed up some reading time – I’m reading several things right now: Afghanistan by Rasheed (painfully dry in places, but incredible informative); Grace in Practice by Zahl (I can’t say I’m really enjoing this…I am finding it strangely graceless in it’s systemization); Surprised by Hope, Write(INFINITY valuable stuff as I minister to and with folks who have to live out their theology of the resurrection every day) and Tuesdays with Morrie by Ablom…interesting stuff.
I’ve also begun to join my fellow chaplains in rotating out to visit other FOBs and I am currently at Camp Clark – a lovely (really, it’s very nice) little post that is very well laid out and organized. This is very different from the ministry I was doing in KU, so in a lot of ways I am re-learning my job; difficult for me right now.
This is an interesting thing, ministering in a warzone. In many ways, it’s like ministering at home – amorpic and somewhat boundariless. Though in all my wanderings in ministry back home I don’t recall ever being jarred out of a lunch conversation by the ringing blast of a cannon going off WAY too close to my dinning facility (that was yesterday…I was informed they were practicing…I later went out and found the Battery crew doing the firing – they told me the same. These guys will bring down very accurate fire when called upon by our troops when they come under attack by the enemy out on the roads.)
In many ways, this has been a great adventure and I’ve really enjoyed some of the stuff I’ve been privilidged to be a part of. In other ways, this has been an incredibly lonely time for me personally. I find I miss my friends and family very much – the first time for this deployment – and I’m finding the culture shock exceptionally difficult to breach this time. In many ways, it is difficult for me as a single woman to minister here, both because the AF people are so segregated from women, they just don’t know what to do with us when they see/meet us – they are either way too forward or mean…I’m grateful that I can’t understand what many of them have said to me in passing… so, that’s complex. Then there’s just the normal difficulties of getting to know a new group and find one’s place/voice. The Lord blessed me w/ my first 3 week sermon series – I did it on faith, hope and love; topics the Lord has been hammering me with lately.
All told, this is a phenomenal place and opportunity for ministry, but one must look for it and stay engaged when everything around you cries for disengagement (a survival tactic). I lead my first bible study out here tonight. 3 guys came. We talked about Mat 8 and the storms of Life and where Jesus is when we cry out to him in our terror…the guys really loved it. Jesus is answering our prayers in the mist of our storm of war.
Friends, I am tired. Not of people or even ministry (which is life affirming – I have not slid back into burnout/compassion fatigue) but of transitions. I realize I left my home in Denver CO on 18 JUN 2008 and have only been home 25 days in the time since… I’ve never been overseas this long and while it is my hearts home, I am finding I long for time to pull back and re-evaluate all that I’ve been through. To this end, I’m pretty sure I’m going to take a job offer to help train the next generation of MOB (mobilizing) soldiers at FT Hood in TX for the next year. This will help me ‘pay back’ my owed time to the Reserves before going active duty and it will also give me a guaranteed year in the states; time to rest, refresh and restore.
I would appreciate your prayers for my last 2 months here in country – I unexpectedly found out I need to be home and ‘deMOBed’ just before Christmas, which will mean I have to start my great migration around the 1st of DEC. Please pray I am able to pour out all of my love and compassion on the men and women I am surrounded by; pray I am not timid at all. Please pray for my transition home…this will be complex for me for a variety of reasons. Please pray for my troopers – they/we really are in harm’s way every day.
