Transitions...Again...

I’m sitting in the Denver Airport USO lounge. It’s gorgeous. There’s a little sleeping area, nice homey chairs around round tables, big, squashy chairs, all the snacks, entertainment and internet access one could possibly wish for. I may never leave! I hear this is one of the nicest one around.

Last night I met with most of my Team; a group of incredibly gifted, talent, and fun pastors and friends who will be helping look after my life and me while I embark on this incredible journey. It was a very rich time of fellowship, community, and joy.

When I was 17 and just figuring out I really was a Christian, the Lord spoke to me in joy and said that He would make me a pastor. I was very excited (had NO idea of the women in the pastorate issue in the Church), but then he told me it wouldn’t be until my mid-30s, so chill. Today, I am 35, hold my first pastoral credentials and am embarking on my first assignment as a specifically called pastor. God is good, faithful and true.

Everyone keeps asking me how I’m feeling. In some ways, I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. I know that I’m not feeling bad, but other than that, I think there are too many things pulling in too many directions to choose any one feeling. As much as it is sad – a point of grief and grieving – that I’m leaving Denver and my friends in the US, knowing that all those relationships will be changed as I will be changed when I get back – I’m also captured by the 18 year calling and wooing of God to be out in his fields- chasing, playing, dancing, resting, working with Him in all He’s doing. And that sense of comradery with Him so fills and fulfills me.

I have worked very hard to stay here and be present to my friends and communities as I’ve waited to begin this leg of the journey; I want to be careful to honor the friends, mentors and teachers (formal and informal) who the Lord has used to bring me here, yet my heart is every looking forward to what is to be done. Thus, I have a mixed reaction to going. In many ways I’m in a great place – I love where I’m going, and I love where I’ve been. I suppose the overriding feeling is perhaps Hopeful.

I will be in SC tonight, then TX joining my unit tomorrow morning. Pray for us!

Reflections on Big Army In-Processing…

Now…I need to qualify everything I’m about to whine about. Compared to what Vets from WWII, Korea and Vietnam went through, my life is a dream…

In processing in the Army is A THING. Thus far, my life in the Army has been carefully sheltered, managed and judiciously exposed to the larger, person-eating processes of the Big Army…. All bets are off now, baby…

So, on Sunday, 7 September, 2008 I officially began to engage my career as a soldier… I reported to Training Center McCrady, right next to sunny Ft. Jackson, SC. This is a Mobilization station for IRR (which I am) and N. Guards (which I’m going to be working with). This is a confused and confusing place with a VERY dedicated staff of NCOs and civilians (and the occasional officer) working EXTREMELY hard to get us through this experience as quickly as possible, while still keeping us basically intact as human beings…this is a hard job…
We start off by knowing absolutely nothing before arriving here – most with absolutely NO IDEA (like me) WHAT we will be doing or WHY we are here and not training with the unit our orders mention we are assigned . Now, I say ‘mention’ because the unit to which we are assigned is really no more than a footnote in single spaced full page type – it’s barely a bi-line. You have to work to find it. I had to call a Major Chaplain I know to interpret the orders for me…and it took him a bit to get it figured out, too. What chance did I have as a buck LT and baby Chaplain?! *dear in headlights*

But, in spite of all that, I’m just bouncing up and down because it looks like God really means it; He really does want me to care for soldiers in harms way…I’m stoked!

Then I arrived here…

Now, all ‘bouncing’ must cease (or at least be stuffed in a duffel bag temporarily) as the mood here is VERY TENSE. The staff are great and working hard to ‘humanize’ this potentially VERY dehumanizing process. But we new soldiers aren’t staff… we’re tense – ready for whatever might pop up out of the woodwork – a cranky Drill SGT ready to drop us (do push-ups), an officer disguised as a civilian who might be offended by humor revolving around criticizing the higher-ups for the organization we now find ourselves in, the occasional ‘turkey’ of a fellow soldier who just ‘won’t get with the program’ and play well with others…we ready. We can do it. We can handle it. We think…

So we’re tense…it’s taken until today for that to ease off and us to realize this too will pass, we are all human beings, we all have good intentions at heart and are actually an AMAZINGLY cool bunch of people. And the Drills are not that cranky and are absolutely not dropping any of us. And the officers are cool – great stories and leading well by example (at least in attitude if not in barracks hygiene…for at least one of them, it’s been 30 years since he’s been living in a barracks) and I have yet to find a genuine turkey yet…

So..you ask, dear friend…what HAVE we been doing? Paperwork. Forms. Receiving 7 immunization shots…in 2 days… Hearing tests. Vision tests. Physicals. Briefings. Paperwork. Finance (gettin’ paid…). New ID cards. Paperwork. Waiting in line to do…you got it, more paperwork… The last 3 days have been an overwhelming blur of waking between 4- 5am, rushing to get to the site where all our stuff is being processed, waiting, rushing, waiting, getting back to the barracks between 6-9pm, crashing, trying to work out (I have managed to get in 2 days!!!) and trying to not let the stress and weird pace make us all sick (I’ve been religious about my vitamins…)

I’m bruised, exhausted, starting to come out of being completely overwhelmed and totally blessed. The other thing that’s been happening these last few days is that I’ve been getting to know and encourage the soldiers surrounding me. We’re all very anxious – we know we could be going to places where we or someone we’re going to know could get seriously hurt or killed. We all have people we love back home who we’re fearful of how the time and events that happen while we’re apart will change us and our relationships. We fear the potential of many losses. Yet, we’re here. Some will stay and do what they can, coping as best they can. Some cannot stay for a variety of reasons and will go back to difficulties already in progress. I have had such unique and amazing opportunities to love on the folks around me and be the presence of Christ among them. It’s been humbling and awe-inspiring for me, in the moments I have had to reflect. I’m getting my ‘bounce’ back out of the duffel…please keep us in prayer.

Here We Go Kids...

****For those of you looking for more pictures - I am posting ALBUMS on Facebook - it's a faster load time than here - so most pics in the future will be there***
Dear Friends
Well, I have finished my training here at Ft. Jackson and have officially graduated from the officer basic course. It’s been a stressful last few days and lots has been happening in general the last few weeks. I suppose the biggest news is that I will be deploying with a Hawaiian National Guard Battalion to Kuwait for a year! I am very excited about my first mission with the Army and am going though many of the feelings and preparations I have gone through in the past as I’ve prepared myself to be in foreign counties.

This assignment came up about 2 weeks ago and the details have been in the process of working out ever since, with details and plans radically changing daily; it has stretched even my flexibility. While my unit is from the great islands of HI, our training will be held here on the mainland, so alas, I STILL don’t get to go to HI. *sigh* It sounds like they’re a great bunch of guys and I’m enormously looking forward to meeting them. It looks like we’ll be in the US for a few months training up on the details of our mission then head ‘down range’ together in late OCT, early NOV.

I’m experiencing a mix of emotions right now and feel very aware of the transitions I’m in. Mostly I feel glad and affirmed. The Lord has guided my steps all these 17 years of following him right up to this moment. I feel very aware of how each step lead to the ones that bring me here today; how beginning to think about how my youth group was run after just being a Christian for a few months, to taking my first tentative steps to lead and care for others in my college fellowship, to my first overseas mission project, to becoming and IV staff person, to joining the Covenant, to delivering my first sermon in an African church, to leading my first mission project, to moving to Denver, to taking my 1st Oath of Office, to graduating from seminary, and now, to graduating from an Army Officer basic course…wow. In some ways, I feel like I'm going through a type of 'ordiantion' from each memeber of the Trinity - Seminary was from the Father, this school was from the Son and the one from my denomination will be from the Holy Spirit...

One of my classmates asked me the other day if I felt prepared to be going down range. I just laughed and told him, ‘no.’ I have learned enough to understand that we never know what we think we need to know before embarking on a great journey with the Lord; there are reasons why he asked his disciples to take nothing with them on the road. I told him that in following the Lord one must learn to trust more and more and that it’s not about what you bring – no matter how great or valuable it may be – but it is about what the Lord will bestow on you as his beloved child and faithful servant as you look to him on the road he has asked you to walk.

I feel very blessed. I have an amazing contingent of colleges in the Chaplain Corps; I really do grieve leaving here because they made such a great community even in just the short time we were here. I’ve also been reflecting on my training. I feel like I’ve done nothing but train for the last 4 solid years. The other thing I have been feeling is… sick of training – how much more can I do before I become no earthly good? This is also a good sign to me that I’ve healed a lot from my last time in ministry and am indeed ready to get out there again and see what the Lord will use me for.

I don’t have an address yet, but I’ll post it ASAP. In the meantime – here are the PRs for the month:
- The biggest PR I have is that I’ll get to attend (and be prepared for) my Ordination interview 20OCT-22OCT; there is a slim possibility I can make it. This would open the possibility of being ordained next summer in the Evangelical Covenant.
- In conjunction with that, please pray that I am able to get leave 21-28 JUNE 2009 to come back and be ordained – again a huge leap, but God can do whatever he wants!
- I would love prayer for my time right now – I’m stuck at Ft Jackson for 3-25 days doing I-don’t-know-what. Pray that I get out of here quickly so I can start meeting and working with my unit at Ft Hood.
- I need about a 10 day window before I go down range so I can sell my truck and meet with some folks back in Denver to get my life the rest of the way arranged. Please pray for the timing on that and that I DO get the time.
- Pray for my unit – they are going through the normal pains of remembering how w deployment works and could use all the prayers and encouragement they can get – safety and health.
- Pray for me that I would be able to get done all they need ASAP and bond well with my folks.