Winds of Transition...

Dear Ones

Well, I’ve been in Afghanistan for nearly 2 months now and my experience continues to bear out the Army mantra: hurry up and wait. Only, this is the steroids version. Allow me to elaborate (i.e.: vent)…

When I first arrived on 4 AUG I was told I might be out to my unit in a week – this was meant to impress me, I now realize… Initially I was told one unit, then there was a second thought that emerged from …? But no, the original thought ended up prevailing. All that took nearly 3 weeks. Then I was told I could get a heilo out to my new unit… that took 2 more days…And all of this, I’m told actually took place in record time…*sigh*

So, in the meantime, while I was trapped at what we call a ‘flagpole’ (flagpole= place where great amounts of scary level rank hang out creating a gravitational pull that causes everyone in the immediate vicinity to completely lose their minds…) I joined a band, did some opening prayers for services, got my runtime to fairly fantastic (for me), met a bunch of folks, and built my first piece of ‘furniture.’ The last item was especially fun as there was a fellow chaplain there who was equally stuck as I was – he also is a master cabinet craftsman…so he taught me the very cool/fun and interesting basics of cabinet and, in this case, table making…I can’t wait to have a garage to experiment in…

Finally, after all that drama (including a very cool divine appointment where a young man asked me to lead him to Christ), I finally met my new unit – the 1-121 IN (infantry) BN (Battalion). I’ve never worked closely with an IN BN before and in some ways it’s everything I’ve heard of but in a lot of ways it’s not. It’s very unusual as a female to assigned to an IN unit as they are one of the few still exclusively male units. I think I got the assignment in large part because the unit’s located on a JTF (joint task force) post which has folks from every branch of service (except Coast Guard – sorry my Guardian/Coastie brethren) and there were already 2 other male chaplains assigned to the unit. It seems like a strange set up to me, hey, who am I to blow against the wind? If I get the group of folks I will be working with consistently, I’m happy.

So, the first 2 weeks were basically ‘get acclimated’ to FOB (forward operating bases- wartime posts) Lightning in Gardez (Norther, and East near the Pakistan border)– in some ways, literally – I’m now at 7,800ft in altitude (and yes, my run time immediately tanked…again…*sigh* but I can look forward to being AMAZING when I get back to 1 mile high!). I have found that most of the camp services are lay led which leaves me time to do sermon prep and do ministry of presence – a luxury I never felt I had enough of in Kuwait. It’s also freed up some reading time – I’m reading several things right now: Afghanistan by Rasheed (painfully dry in places, but incredible informative); Grace in Practice by Zahl (I can’t say I’m really enjoing this…I am finding it strangely graceless in it’s systemization); Surprised by Hope, Write(INFINITY valuable stuff as I minister to and with folks who have to live out their theology of the resurrection every day) and Tuesdays with Morrie by Ablom…interesting stuff.

I’ve also begun to join my fellow chaplains in rotating out to visit other FOBs and I am currently at Camp Clark – a lovely (really, it’s very nice) little post that is very well laid out and organized. This is very different from the ministry I was doing in KU, so in a lot of ways I am re-learning my job; difficult for me right now.

This is an interesting thing, ministering in a warzone. In many ways, it’s like ministering at home – amorpic and somewhat boundariless. Though in all my wanderings in ministry back home I don’t recall ever being jarred out of a lunch conversation by the ringing blast of a cannon going off WAY too close to my dinning facility (that was yesterday…I was informed they were practicing…I later went out and found the Battery crew doing the firing – they told me the same. These guys will bring down very accurate fire when called upon by our troops when they come under attack by the enemy out on the roads.)

In many ways, this has been a great adventure and I’ve really enjoyed some of the stuff I’ve been privilidged to be a part of. In other ways, this has been an incredibly lonely time for me personally. I find I miss my friends and family very much – the first time for this deployment – and I’m finding the culture shock exceptionally difficult to breach this time. In many ways, it is difficult for me as a single woman to minister here, both because the AF people are so segregated from women, they just don’t know what to do with us when they see/meet us – they are either way too forward or mean…I’m grateful that I can’t understand what many of them have said to me in passing… so, that’s complex. Then there’s just the normal difficulties of getting to know a new group and find one’s place/voice. The Lord blessed me w/ my first 3 week sermon series – I did it on faith, hope and love; topics the Lord has been hammering me with lately.

All told, this is a phenomenal place and opportunity for ministry, but one must look for it and stay engaged when everything around you cries for disengagement (a survival tactic). I lead my first bible study out here tonight. 3 guys came. We talked about Mat 8 and the storms of Life and where Jesus is when we cry out to him in our terror…the guys really loved it. Jesus is answering our prayers in the mist of our storm of war.

Friends, I am tired. Not of people or even ministry (which is life affirming – I have not slid back into burnout/compassion fatigue) but of transitions. I realize I left my home in Denver CO on 18 JUN 2008 and have only been home 25 days in the time since… I’ve never been overseas this long and while it is my hearts home, I am finding I long for time to pull back and re-evaluate all that I’ve been through. To this end, I’m pretty sure I’m going to take a job offer to help train the next generation of MOB (mobilizing) soldiers at FT Hood in TX for the next year. This will help me ‘pay back’ my owed time to the Reserves before going active duty and it will also give me a guaranteed year in the states; time to rest, refresh and restore.

I would appreciate your prayers for my last 2 months here in country – I unexpectedly found out I need to be home and ‘deMOBed’ just before Christmas, which will mean I have to start my great migration around the 1^st of DEC. Please pray I am able to pour out all of my love and compassion on the men and women I am surrounded by; pray I am not timid at all. Please pray for my transition home…this will be complex for me for a variety of reasons. Please pray for my troopers – they/we really are in harm’s way every day.

The Quirkiness of Life...

I’ve been thinking about what’s ironic in my life lately… I’m quickly coming to my end of this chapter (at least so far) of my time in Kuwait as a post Chaplain. Some things have been ‘strikin’ me funna’ ‘– when we got here no one could wait to leave (they still can’t…we have to contain the stampede) yet now there is a fondness of this place and especially the people here that I know each, in their own way, will miss and some brave few who dare to think of it, realize will never happen this way again; we truly created a unique and beautiful community here. For all the complaining, I’ve been listening to the types of things people are passing along to the ‘next generation’ – things like, ‘yeah, it’s REALLY dull here, but it’s SUCH a great place – you’re going to love it!’ and there’s still such a spirit of generosity –which so characterized us – folks have given TONS of stuff to our TCN (third Country Nationals- the workers from around the world who serve us in the camp) Drive and to each other – rich and precious store-houses of knowledge and insight into not only surviving being here, but growing and thriving… it’s been really beautiful to watch from ‘around corners.’

This place has deepened my love and experience of Jesus. It’s ironic that when I left RI 4 years ago, I was begging God to send me to the deepest desert because I wanted to die – I wanted my physical life to reflect the deadness I felt in my soul – something poetic and integrity-laden for me (having my insides and outsides match). But the Lord sent me to Denver – a desert, but not the deadest desert, not like where I am now. And I began to breathe again; began to hope, began to wish, began to dream, began to heal… again…in the high desert… from those tender shoots of fresh, renewed life God then sent me into the deepest desert – the deserts of the Middle-East – some of the most conflict-ridden, soul eating places on earth – and I found those tender shoots growing and solidifying and becoming mature and beautiful… And so, I find myself reflecting on the mysteries of God and the souls of the Desert Fathers –how God has used deserts to cleans, heal, restore and grow his people for all eternity, and now my footprints are added to the sands... que bella…

In the desert I have found a tapestry of the richest cloth I have seen to date – people and faces from EVERY place on the face of God’s multi-colored Earth – Bangladeshi, Indian, Pakistani, Hawaiian, Philippines, New Zealanders, English, American, Micronesia, Samoa, Australia, all manner of African Nations, Papua New Guinea, Kuwait, Egypt, Saudi, UAE, Qatar, Iraq and places I can’t even find on maps without Google! Many don’t speak English – but it does still seem to hold that ‘human’ still speaks to ‘human’ and a kind act or smile or tone of voice carries the weight of love any and all ways…There is a beautiful and tiny woman who cleans our living area – whenever she sees me she shyly comes up to me and gives me a hug – I haven’t seen her do this with anyone else – she speaks just a shade of English – I’ve gathered that she has a grown son who is in college or school and I think she’s from Bangladesh – I so honored and humbled that she would show me so much love…

In the desert there is a life most unusual and stunning… as in many harsh environments (be it because of economics or environment) what quickly becomes important are your relationships – you simply cannot ever afford to have enemies in your neighbors – you must make amends if you offend. You must. Your life and livelihood depend on it. This place is no different in spite of become a 1st world nation over night due to the oil; folks still spend months of their years out in tents in the desert so they won’t forget – they spend their nights in fellowship with one another over tea, coffee, hookah, and (as my Hawaiians would say) ‘talking story.’ What is beautiful here is often not what you see with the naked eye – the desert stretches on forever with very little interrupting it except for a town or power lines – what is beautiful is a soul – how one listens, the attention one gives to their host and visa versa. The quality of the interaction and even (I think) to some degree the quantity of the interaction – how much raw time is one willing to give to a friendship or new relationship? It makes me feel both anxious and inspired.

My heart is full as I go on to my next assignment. God has grown, matured and inspired me here. The death I felt as I left RI has been healed and the roots and been addressed and given over (even here more roots were taken). I have several new dear friends, one in particular has become very close and dear to my heart…so many unexpected gifts…There was a vision I had in Africa a few years ago where God was standing with joyful glee and filling my arms with gifts and he had more he wanted to give, but my arms were so full, there was no way to even balance one more, so it would have to wait. And wait it has – when I came here my arms were finally empty and open. He has placed extravagance in my arms once more…hallelujah!!

Please pray for me as I transition over the next few weeks to finish the last 6 months of my tour in Afghanistan. This will be a challenging time of change but an amazing and humbling opportunity to serve our nation’s finest in their darkest hours and one of the more scary places in the world; pray I am strong and courageous in the Lord and not afraid in any circumstance. Pray I preach the Gospel of Life and Love. Pray I reach out in the strength and hope of Jesus and not my own power. Pray Jesus is seen…

The Ides of March...

This can be a very daunting task writing the monthly updates. For me, time is a fickle thing – moving faster than can be borne some days and so slow I wonder if I’m in trouble for missing something… but none the less, I enjoy writing them as it gives me an impromptu opportunity to ‘download’ some the events of the month.

I’ve been feeling better about my schedule lately – I sort of had an emotional, internal ‘crash and burn’ last month when the pressures of going almost non-stop for 6 months caught up with me after a particular vicious string of weeks without a full day off. It was very disturbing because the last time I did this was when I was on staff with IV and I just felt that that was catastrophic – it took going away for 3 years to seminary to get repair the damage I had caused then. So when I was feeling that depleted again and so quickly – it was very depressing and I spent a few weeks feeling rather depressed.

Now, here’s where the new tools and plans I got in seminary paid off. I’ve been meeting with my Spiritual Director in the states on the phone weekly and she’s been an enormous help and encouragement. Also, when the Lord did present me with a series of days where there was not much going on, so I took advantage of the lull and crashed – just laid low for a few days. Normally I feel very guilty about not being at work when I think I should be. But I had an epiphany that week – I realized I’m working every conscious hour I’m awake – my command has mandated I’m only supposed to be working 8-10hr days (it’s been more like 12-14hr days for me) – so I realized I didn’t need to be coming in at 0830 every morning and staying until 9 or 10 at night. I could come in later on those days I know will be late and I can work out in the morning instead. This was hugely freeing for me and it’s helped me develop a better work rhythm here.

Counseling continues to be a heavy load, though I have found it’s dropped of significantly now that we’re well past the holidays. I don’t know if I mentioned it before, but I’ve been blessed to have a new Navy E6 (MA1 –for those who understand that!) join my UMT (unit ministry team – me and Sanders). It was really difficult having my assist away on block leave for most of FEB, but Chappell (yes, that really is his name) really made it not only bearable, but also doable- between him and a ‘loaner’ from the unit, we actually not only kept the boat afloat, but got some critical supply issues resolved. But I was VERY glad to have Sanders back. I am shocked to realize I can actually keep several assistant employed at any one given time; this was also an epiphany to realize I’m working to much.

The soldiers, sailors and marines here are doing basically very well. We’re all looking forward to Easter and coming home just a few months there after. I got to watch some of the Kuwaiti Air Assault teams practice doing Helicopter jumps onto a parking lot on my run this morning – I never tire of my job…

I am enormously looking forward to coming home for my block leave in June. I am in the final stages of preparing my paper for my final ordination interview. God willing, I should be ordained in Portland on my block leave. The Lord is faithful – he told me when I was 17 he would make me a pastor and that it wouldn’t be until I was in my mid thirties – I’m 35 and schedule to be ordained in June…God is good.

I’ve been thinking about time lately. We spend so much time wishing the time would pass quickly here. We’re basically locked down much of the time here on post, so there can be an oppressive feel to how time runs here. But I’ve been thinking about it – I can never get this year back. If I spend the whole time wishing I were somewhere else or that the time would just hurry up and get on with it – what will I be missing in the here and now? What work of God, beauty of nature or wonder in the growth of a human being (me or someone else) will or even am I missing out on? The need to speed things up must never subjugate the need to be as fully present to the wonder of the moment.

Another thing – I’ve struggled for years in a mild sort of way wondering if I am more of a leader or a shepherd. Well, since I’ve been here I’ve seen a number of people come and go. Recently, I’ve had occasion to see 2 sailors I became very fond of visit our camp for just a few weeks, then go – I was not sure I’d see them again and was sad at their leaving. In the last 2 weeks I’ve had occasion to have them both back for a few days each and it was a joy to see them and minister with them again. I think this settles the debate – I am a shepherd more than a leader (in the sense that a leader looks more at the big picture and is not necessarily concerned with WHO is performing what function so much as what function needs to be performed and what quality/kinds of people he or she has to do them).

Finally – we’ve begun wrapping up things here (I know, it feel early – but you try to coordinate and move several hundred people and equipment internationally and see how long it takes you!) – awards are beginning to be processed, promotions granted, projects looking to their completion. I’ve been writing Sander’s award recommendation and I’ve been asked to submit my to 5 things I’m most proud of. It was a little embarrassing once I’d written it, but fun nonetheless. So, I’ll end by sharing my list with y’all – after all, you’ve been supporting me to do it!

OER accomplishments:
- Trainings (as of 3/09): co-conducted 6 Strong Bonds classes (marriage and relational wellness classes); trained the trainers and assisted in 8 suicide prevention classes (Beyond the Front); assisted in 6 Newcomers Welcome Briefings; and attended 5 UMT trainings by ASG-KU chaplains.

- Conducted (current and projected): 32 Sunday morning worship services; 32 Bible Studies; 20 Praise and Worship Nights; 8 special Holiday services; 5 Movie and a Message events; 5 invocations; 3 hospital visitations; and 45 guitar/music lessons. Provided for the needs of Muslim, LDS and Jewish SMs throughout the deployment by driving them to events, coordinating regular access to services and providing materials (books, prayer rugs, etc.) as requested.

- Counseling (as of 3/09): 24 Red Cross messages; 23 Duty calls; 136 counseling sessions of varying types.

- Facilitated Host Nation relations within the Christian community (as of 3/09): brought 16 SMs to local protestant churches; 60 members of the Catholic community to Mass in the downtown Cathedral; and coordinated a post-wide Benefit drive, raising: non-perishable food, bedding, shoes and clothing for distribution our TCN community

- Improved Chapel supplies and equipment (current and projected): ordered: ACU Bibles; Scholars and Pastor’s electronic libraries for the Chapel (there were NO pastoral reference materials here before); crosses, medals, stars of David, Muslim Chaplain Field Kit; 2 new microphones; I personally serviced and made useable 4 guitars that were in storage; and facilitated and coordinated with the Fire Department to get the Chapel up to current fire code.

Feburary Happenings....

Dear Ones,
Hard to believe yet another month has passed us by – lent is fast upon us and I prepare for yet another round of ‘firsts’ for the holidays. It’s been another month of great blessings and great trials.

We were blessed to have an evangelist Chaplain out visiting from Virginia last week. He’s the rear-detachment chaplain for the group here and was out to do a sort visit to catch up with his folks. He’s a very fervent and warm hearted brother in the Lord and it was a blessing to have him out for the week. I saw him led at least one person to the Lord! (Pic = I got to go for a ride on an LCAC (hovercraf)- I know, I look a little punchy; the other was a camel ride sponsored by the MWR (rec center)).

I was also blessed to tag along with him to downtown Kuwait city to meet some of the local protestant pastors there – what a blessing to be in the middle of brothers and sisters from all over the world worshiping God together in several different languages – this always impresses me as a foretaste of heaven!

I also got to led a small group of 26 out to KU city to the Catholic Cathedral. It was a rich time of fellowship and worship for my Catholic community and I was blessed to fellowship with them.

I’ve been enjoying several good books lately: The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning and Surprised by Hope by NT Write – these are helping to continue to shape my pastoral identity and thinking – good stuff if you get the time!

I’ve been thinking a lot about the concepts of balance lately – the last two weeks while full of blessings have not been pain-free. It feels like for every blessing I’ve received I had to fight hard in the Spirit to keep and not get torn down in other areas as I continue to learn the different nuances and demands of my job as an officer. Balance to me is looking more and more to Jesus and just asking Him to be enough for each moment as I am sometimes stretched to my limit and beyond. This continues to be a lesson of pruning for me (see John 15) as I continue to grow in my ability to trust God in the ‘deep end of the pool.’

A good friend recently pointed out that I am in a very similar situation to when I was on IV staff just before I left – I am the sole minister to a campus of several hundred souls. And I find I need to fight to keep another chaplain preaching here on a regular basis for our Sunday evening service. She reminded me that growth is always painful but it is something we greatly desire. I’ve been meditating on that the last day or so and while I acknowledge the truth of it, I confess I still don’t like it when I’m in a growing season. She also suggested that God is redeeming some of the negative lessons I learned during my time on staff and giving me a new experience of Him in the middle of what looks like the same situation. I find each week as I prepare to preach I go though a series of anxieties over it, but each week God shows up and an aspect of His Kingdom is revealed, people hear God’s word and lives are touched. And I’m pleased to report I think I have very little to do with it. This has been going on for months now and each week I don’t die, God is actually glorified and the community grows. I hope and pray I am beginning to trust the Lord a little bit more with my life and heart as I publicly declare the goodness of God in the land of the living. I just hope I can learn this sufficiently well so God can return me to the team-based ministry that I love so deeply.

Please do keep me and my little team here in prayer – the battles are sudden and fierce:
- Pray for Sanders as he’s home in HI right now on leave
- Pray for my new assistants MA1 Chappell (a new part time addition to the team courtesy of the Navy – I do LOVE joint forces work! It’s so cool!) and SPC Medeiros who will be covering down during Sanders absence – please pray we jell quickly and work efficiently
- Pray for continued opportunity to fellowship with our fellow Christians in the downtown area

New Years thoughts...

Hi Gang – hope the holidays were terrific for you! I am doing well here. The weather turned sharply on New Year’s Day – it was a cold, windy and rainy day. It has since gotten a little warmer, but I am beginning to wear my fall weather gear fairly regularly. It still remains sunny and bright during the days and I have no fear of snow (sorry my CO & RI contingents!).

This has been another intense month of looking for God, following his lead and trusting Him alone as my daily bread. This was the first time I lead a congregation through a Christmas season of services… it scared me to death, but through the encouragement of friends near and far, I was able to keep turning this ministry and myself over to His leadership; my daily prayer has been “Lord, this is YOUR ministry, these are YOUR people – help me to not get in your way; let me be an instrument of your peace.”

The services went well, I thought – there were things I learned from it – some I would do again, some, not so much…but in it all, God was faithful and I know there was space in the services for folks to meet with God, so I felt like I did what I was called to do…

I have been finding it intimidating to be preaching every week, but the Lord is so good – this has become a point of stretching me in my faith and continuing God’s long-term work of pulling my perfectionistic tendencies out of me. I am learning to be content with who I am and not demanding I be someone I am not. An old, but continuingly important lesson I do keep having to re-learn. *sigh*

I am pleased to report on the friend-front that I do have a couple of good friend possibilities and I am hopeful to see how the Lord will develop these relationships. One of my new friends even came out to KNB from another camp and kept me company for the entire Christmas Eve/Christmas Day services cycle – I felt sooo supported by the Lord through her friendship!

Now that the holidays are behind us, I feel the mood in the camp lightening some. Christmas time in a deployed setting was incredibly difficult for most of my soldiers and sailors. Thank you for your prayers for us during that season; it made a HUGE difference.

Email continues to be an on-again/off-again affair, so if I don’t get right back to you, that’s why – I am able to consistently get on my army account, so please do write me there if you want to communicate. (terri.king1@us.army.mil) I hope y’all have a blessed New Years – below are my PRs for JAN…

Prayer Reqs:
- God would continue to fill me with his confidence and presence as I preach and teach each week.
- Continued friend development
- Daily grace for the politics I find myself in
- Wisdom on whether to extend my time here at the end or go home with the unit in July
- Continued protection from attacks of the Enemy