Reflections on my 4th Urbana (which represents 12 years of involvement with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship):
(St. Louis Arch at sunrise)
This is my fourth Urbana. I cannot believe I am here - and I mean that both sarcastically and seriously! My first one was in 1996 as a student, the next two were as IV staff and now as a Denver Seminary graduate student.
(Friends: former student, Sarah and friend from my church in RI, Jay)
For those of you who are new here, here's the quick update: I was an InterVaristy staff member for 6 years in New England (NE) working with commuter students in RI. InterVarsity (IV or IVCF) is a national and international organization on around 600 college campuses throughout the US with a ministry of campus outreach to students, staff and faculty. My time with them as a staff member (missionary) was both really good and really complex; I'm still, to some degree, sorting out the experience.
(Below: fellow former staff friends/friends from college, Doug and Patri)
Now then...
I was really surprised at how eager I was to come when the opportunity presented itself on campus back in Denver (I'm writing this from St. Louis, where the conference is being held). I think I understand why now.
This conference and week are about God's work and mission in the world and providing students with tools, contacts, encouragement and teaching for them to engage that mission with Him. (Frontier's missions exhibit tent) That message and those tools were given to me as a student and deepened in me as a staff member and now are part of my 'basic operating system.' I love this in part because it affirms some basic commitments I have to serve God to the best of my ability all of my life. I also love it because I love to see people learn, grow and pass on what they've gained.
All that said, I don't think that that's what my time here has been about. I have not gone to every session, run to every workshop or sought out mentorship the way I have at past Urbanas. I feel that my 'mission' here (aside from talking to students about my seminary, which was my 'paid' job here), was to reconnect with my old co-laborers and friends from NE. To encourage where I can, listen, and let them know I may have left in body, but am very much still there in prayer and love.
(Great old friend/roommate from college, Rose)
I had some very encouraging conversations with some folks in leadership and am so happy to hear that my region is healing and taking great strides forward in moving past some messy and ugly times; God is transforming. That brings me great peace to know. It was also encouraging to hear that I left the ministry well. In ministry, so much of your life is relationships and mine was no exception. I really felt that my supervisor did a wonderful job of encouraging me to follow God wherever He lead, beit on staff or not. But it was such a complicated time when I left, I was not sure I left well with my team and region. It was a blessing to hear that I had.
For me, this Urbana has been on of watching, loving and praying but from more of a distance than I've ever had here before. It doesn't make me sad, though, as I think it would have a few years ago. I have loved this week to meet and catch up with a plethora of old friends, students and staff. I have peace with the life I had in RI and with the life I'm leading now in CO.
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(It's really dark, I know - this is the stage with the theme on it)
It's funny that the theme of this conference is the book of Ephesians - one of the most encouraging books in the bible next to the Psalms, in my opinion - and that the theme tag line is "LIVE a life worthy of the calling." When I got back from Mozambique three years ago, I made a vow with God that I would choose to live. That I would stop putting myself in positions that just felt like dying. I loved staff work in many ways, but I needed to move on, to grow and develop fully into the person God made me to be and I could no longer see how to do that on staff; God called me onward. Feeling a sort of 'death' the longer I stayed was a good indicator.
(Worlds collide: Army buddy LT Todd from the summer, and Jim Harding, a Regional Director with Africa Inland Mission) I love that the Lord is continuing to affirm and call me to truly LIVE and not settle for what is familiar or even comfortable. As scary as things can sometimes be in seminary, the Army and the direction of my life, I am finding that I have been honoring that call to LIVE. I guess it may be that it is better to be a little scared and truly live than to feel completely safe and stuck.
This week has been truly a blessing in connecting with old friends from a wide range of my 'worlds.' I was able to catch up with (or at least see) friends from different missions agencies I've been involved with, former students (love to the Sarah and Becca!) and have some wonderful times of catching up with old friends from college. Even my Army 'world' was here representing the Chaplain Corps - including a guy I was in training with last summer! I ALMOST brought my uniform, but didn't think we'd be here, so didn't at the last minute! Bummer!
(Friend and former student, Becca - aww...)
All that now said, I've also been working on a paper for my January term class that starts next week. *sigh* Please keep me in prayer for this class and next semester as always!
Oh - for those of you who are wondering - the blizzard (the first one!) was terrific! I helped a friend move during it and had a BLAST. There's currently (even when I left) an IMPRESSIVE amount of snow - I'll post pics next time as I need to go take some!
(The Denver seminary recruiting Team: Julie (the real recruiter - we learned from the Jedi master, herself), Douglas (a first-year, but we love him anyway ;) ) and Angela (fellow MDiv and worship leader on campus) - and our favorite snack...beef jerky)Thanks for praying for me for this week as well as my seminary adventures - I really appreciate it! HAPPY NEW YEAR GANG! - Love, Ter
