Greetings from sunny Colorado! The title of this month's entry may be a bit alarmist, but it has been a significantly more complex semester this time. Classes are not proving to be much more difficult than last semester (though Greek sure has stepped up a notch), its just been relationally exceptionally challenging. I feel like I left RI with lots of mixed feelings about friendship, mentoring and ministry and God, in his wisdom and mercy, saw fit to give me a break last semester in regards to all of that. However, now is the time he has chosen to begin healing and moving me (hopefully) forward.
I have two professional mentors with the seminary's mentorship program that I am required to meet with weekly as well as a professor led, peer group on campus that I am also required to meet with weekly. While in theory I love this and feel that it will be a great tool in moving forward personally and professionally in life, I am struggling deeply with how to have/keep the boundaried God has spent the last six or so years teaching me how to have. It is the expectation of the seminary that I will share deeply with these people and grow through the experience (which I do think can happen) and so far (for the most part) they are proving to be people who are/will be worthy of trust. The trouble I'm having is the speed with which I'm feeling I should 'get into stuff' with these groups. I have sort of rediscovered that it does take me a while to warm up to people to the point where I'm willing to share the deeper parts of my inner world. (Of course, as some of you know, once you get into that you can't shut me up!) It's a bit of a shock for me as I haven't been so 'rawly' new to a place since my freshman year in undergrad. So I think that's part of the culture shock here for me, too.
God has not left me without resources, however. In addition to the wisdom, grace and love he has poured out on me, he has also given me two folks (in addition to a few others I am still getting to know) who are quickly becoming very close friends:
Josh and Nancee. Josh is a early twenty-something fellow MDiver who is married and lives in Boulder. He's very 'New Englandy' in spite of never having been there - I think he'd fit well in Boston. He's into literature/poetry and sarcasm. Nancee is a married, mid forty-something, occasional women's pastor, Counseling/Chaplaincy major. She came up to me last semester and said, "Hey, I always see you running around. I want you to stop and be by friend. (!)" - I thought that was both hysterical and direct enough for me to be intrigued. They are quickly becoming points of prayer, encouragement and listening ears in my life.
The Lord is opening some very cool, but scary doors for me in military ministry. I recently made a contact with a Army Chaplain Major in the reserves. We had a great conversation and I have hopes that he will be an informal mentor in helping me bridge the gap into the military world. He is trying to help me get assigned to a unit starting next month. I'm thinking it will be a sort of informal internship sort of thing. The other cool, semi-scary thing the Lord has opened up for me is the chance to play with a worship team on Buckley AFB - I started last week and had a great time (the drummer is as 'rhythmically flexible' as I am!)
I guess the last thing on my mind this month is that I got my first uniform yesterday. It's the new pattern - grey/sandy, digital patterned. This is probably the thing that has made this whole Army thing feel the most real so far. It was a monumentous thing to me. I found myself praying on the way home that the Lord would give me strength, grace and wisdom for the time when there is blood on this uniform (my own or someone else's). Perhaps it's a bit melodramatic (I know I can be), but it was what came to mind. It doesn't diminish my desire to do this job; just feeling some of the possible weight of it.
Prayer requests:
- Emotional stability in all areas of my life! (I've had enough drama for this semester!!) Pray too that I would start handling the many new people and roles in my life with greater flexibility and love and less fear.
- Help and wisdom in relating to one of my mentors (long, complex, dramatic story you're better off not hearing)
- Motivation/time/energy to complete assignments due this month
- strength to keep up my running regimen
Praise:
- For new good friends
- For one mentor who really 'gets' me and is a good mentor/friend to me
- For conflict resolution with the other mentor (we worked some stuff out really well)
- Fred (my truck) is holding up well!
Two Announcements:
- My friend and brother in the Lord, Bill Kinneman went to be with the Lord this week. He always prayed for me and responded with encouragement and joy to anything I wrote him. I will miss him. I thought I'd pass this along as some of you may know him or his family but not yet have heard. Please pray for Barbara (his wife) and their grown children and grandchildren.
- My Friend Irene Eng Wong and her husband Will just had their first munchkin Caroline this past Tuesday the 21st!! Will reports that Irene needed a C section, but that mother and baby are doing well; they went home today. I spoke with her briefly and she sounded good!
I hope you all are well - stay in touch! - Love, Terri
