Hey Gang - well, I sit down tonight to write you in week 6 (of 14) - almost halfway there! Boy, is it getting hot in here or is it me? I see why folks were worried about me taking 17 credits this semester...don't think I'll do that again...Classes are going well so far, though I am heading into the heart of the semester in the upcoming weeks. I am nervous about it all, but so far am holding it together. I met with my advisor today and she seemed to think I was on the right track, so that was encouraging.
In the meantime (i.e. the rest of my life...yes, there is a little), Church has become much more friendly - I think people are more sensitive to new folks now that it's the fall. I've joined a short term small group that meets Tuesday nights (it has folks who are new or haven't been in a small group before) and I'm checking out a Sunday night group that meets every other week. My pastor is in this one and I think I want to ask him if he'll be one of my mentors for the next few years, so this is a chance to get to know him better in the context of community as well as get to know others in the church. This group only meets 2x a month, so it's a little easier on my academic life.
On the job front, I've picked up a little sideline gig cleaning a house twice a month and I just started teaching guitar to a guy in my church. These are fun, don't eat up a ton of time and pay well. This is helpful, as I think Fred (my truck) is about to have some more problems...
On the life front, I've found myself thinking a lot this past month (what's new...). I've been re-opening some issues of singleness that I thought I'd put behind me. This has been somewhat disorienting and anxiety producing, but I think it's something I've put off for a long time. In RI (no offence guys!), there just wasn't anyone in my circles or place in life available to date. Out here, both in the seminary and in my church, there are (Spiritually) attractive and available guys...I'm really not used to this...So, unfortunately, I see some of my old defense mechanisms coming out (to fend off guys I know/knew I shouldn't have dated), but now there's no good reason for it, I'm just nervous.
This readily ties into a 'Theology of Suffering' I've been thinking about/ God has been developing in me for the past few years. Part of the argument goes like this: The Gospel was never designed to make us physically safe (read any NT book - the church was under constant persecution from within and without) - it was desined to give us the truth and show us the way out of our sin - in fact, a large part (quite probably the main way)of how the Gospel was spread was due to the persecutions driving Christians to the 'ends of the earth' (great commission anyone?) and the witness they gave as they stood under unjustified persecution. There's more theologically I could add to this, but I do actually want you to read this so, I'll be brief(er). (And don't worry, I'm not out of touch with the Joy of the Gospel, either.)
When you ask an American what to do about a problem, they will almost always say, "Solve it." When you ask a Canadian, they will almost always say, "Cope." The early church was powerless to solve the problem of their suffering; they had to cope - involving prayer, hope in God and the resurrection. I guess, as the singleness thing hits me, I'm struck by two things: one, I feel aware that there are things that I am free to do because I do not have a family whose wellbeing I must (and would want to) put ahead the mission I'm involved in. On the one hand that's appealing, but on the other, it can be very lonely at times. I do know that I am built to work best in partnership, and marriage, it seems to me (you married folks can chime in!) that even if you and your spouse aren't in the same line of work, having a 'home base' with each other can be a pretty great thing. Thus comes the suffering part. Which is better? (I don't buy that 'better' is the right qualifier...) Is it merely a matter of what you can stand (ie cope with, or perhaps even just be content with)? That feel like a negative argument for both singleness and marriage...I don't like that... A friend gave me the book 'Sacred marriage' before I left RI, and while I haven't read it yet, I did read the back (lame, I know). It posed a great question - what if marriage is more about making us Holy than it is about making us happy? I've been thinking about that one the last few months as well. (Don't worry, I don't think life is all suffering, just trying to figure out (solve? humm) what is a Biblical life that must, necessarily (Christian or not, even!) include suffering.
Well, that's it for now, my brain is fried. Do feel free to comment on this and PLEASE pray for me. Sorry about the heaviness of this one guys!
October Prayer Requests:
- 2 major papers due this month; please pray that I would have time and spirit to do the necessary research and that I would truly be changed by what I'm doing. Pray that I would be able to keep up with the workload.
- social life - God is developing one for me. Please pray that I would be wise in how I engage it.
- Singleness stuff...
- Please pray for my truck - I can't afford to have it seriously break down right now.
- Please pray for my Dad (Leo) and his new French wife, Christianne - they are becoming involved in the Mormon church and are going through the joys of the first year of marriage - pray especially for Christianne as she is going through culture shock on top of it all (they live in FL).
-Please pray for my 'soundness of being' - sorry, don't have a better way to ask this.
Thanks guys - love y'all- Ter
