Notes From the Journey...The Army Years...

LONG awaited update!

2010-05-04T19:56:00.003-06:00

Dear Family Around the World,

Greetings in the Love and Grace of Jesus! I know it has been many months since my last missal; as always, thanks for your patience! One of you wrote me today an jarred me to write...I am grateful!

Friends and fellow journeymen, there has been too much that has happened since the last posting in August to tell it all here, but let me try to pick the threads as best I can…

The theme for the last year and nearly two for me has been Grace. Grace for everything. Grace for me and for all God’s creatures. It has frustrated me to tears, angered me at times, terrified me but it has held me, deeply, closely and unconditionally close to the heart of my beloved Jesus.

Let me tell the tale…

When I was about 26 I realized one day that I absolutely HATED grace. I wanted nothing to do with it. This was a shocking thought as I was leading a campus ministry at the time and preached and taught regularly – I was keenly aware that a Christian should NOT HATE grace! So I spent some weeks meditating and praying about it asking God to tell me why this was true (and I knew in my soul that it was). God was faithful and gave it to me – he told me I hated Grace because it implied I messed up SO incredibly badly that there was no cure for it. If God did not give his grace whatever the endeavor or life (mine or someone else’s) would be lost or permanently broken. It deftly hit all my perfectionist buttons and would not let me go.

I couldn’t change this about myself (hummm… imagine, not being able to give God’s grace from yourself to yourself…inconceivable! ;) ) so I asked God to teach me what Grace is and to help me to learn to love it. This was the beginning of now a 10 year discussion that was carried forward and deepened greatly by my time in Middle-East (ME) and continues to carry forward in these last few months I’ve been home.

When last we spoke I had just gotten to my first post in AFG – FOB Lightning and I was transitioning in. Well, the transitions never ended. I went to 16 different FOBs COPs or Camps during my short 5 months there. I went from being a parish pastor in KU to being a Circuit Rider (anyone remember John Wesley? Replace the horse with a helicopter…that’s the idea). Of those 16 I was able to get back to a handful of them several times. I am really good with Blackhawk helios now.

Many of you have asked or hinted at asking how much danger I was in. I was in some, I did get shot at and blown up occasionally, but there were many I ministered to who were (AND STILL ARE) in constant danger and have to bear that daily. I say this, because the grace it evoked in me was sheer ministry of the moment and ministry of presence. And I both loved it and was completely wiped out emotionally, mentally and spiritually by it. I got used to speaking truth as deeply and graciously as the person I was talking to would allow… and I finally really started to own that darned ‘gift’ of prophecy God gave me years ago…

God gave me divine appointments EVERY day. Sometimes I would be sitting in the chow hall and someone would just sit near me. We’d strike up a conversation (either by their gesture or word or mine) and I would find something God was doing in their lives – not like a ‘hard core’ evangelical discussion where I was pushing an agenda, but a Gracious discovery – it came to me, I did not need to look for it. Sometimes I got to speak the words of God’s love for them directly using scripture or other ‘God language’ but many times it was just the sheer grace of being in each other’s company and fellowship… it was enough to communicate the life, love and presence of Jesus. I was always every bit as blessed as I think/hope I blessed. God also blessed me with a few precious friends while I was there who ministered to me intentionally and unintentionally. This too was just a jaw-dropping experience of feeling the Grace of God enfold and love me.

I’ll be honest, there were times when I became so overwhelmed with EVERY kind of battle that I was surrounded by – spiritual, emotional and LASTLY physical – that about ½ way though I really felt much of my faith and hope that God could break through all this was really quite broken. But I still had love. I still absolutely LOVED Jesus in spite of being furious with him and terrified of his plans, I could still love and receive love from him. So, work with what ya got! I kept loving people. I kept preaching. I kept showing up to the places and times God invited me to. And I realized a funny thing; I really did still have faith and hope… they just were absolutely no longer dependent on me in any way, shape or form. They belonged to and came entirely from Christ himself. What humbling grace… And it was humbling… I am often arrogant enough to believe I am the agent of my own healing by the choices I make or don’t make. While I do think I have a role to play, the overwhelming evidence for me now is that Christ fights much harder and much more consistently that I can even imagine…and I have nothing to do with it; he will love me till the end of time because it is in HIS nature to do so.

There is still something in this (my still raging perfectionism, I’m sure) that makes me very anxious. I still have many days where I feel the need to ‘get it together’ and make myself trust God… it does make me laugh a lot more that it used to… but the journey continues and really is unendingly gracious to me in it… I am a bit stunted, but as the song says ‘He’s not finished with me yet.’

Since I’ve been home, I’ve not done much compared to my ‘other life.’ And I have been so blessed by it.

When I first got back, since I’m a reservist, not active duty, folks REALLY didn’t understand my life – they kept asking me where I was stationed or what job I was doing now… I’d JUST got off the plane and folks were asking me this… I love the American culture of busyness… *sigh* I’ll admit, I wasn’t always as patient or gracious as I could have been. But that was a really frustrating question for me- I need space to be purely Terri, purely human for a minute and to detox from all the roles and emotional enmeshments I’d gotten myself into … so I would fluff folks off (sorry if you are one of them!).

What surprised me the most was how fractured my thinking had become. Most of you know my famous wit and sarcasm and ability to fire off a funny and almost (!) inappropriate comment in almost in circumstance for the sake (hopefully!) of bridging an awkward moment or building a community. This was REALLY out of sync when I got back. I’d think of something like 10 minutes after the moment happened or even DAYS after… I came to realize this was the mental fatigue most of us (redeploying military and civilians) experience when we transition back. When I got to AFG I was probably at about 50% of my normal capacities; when I left, I think I was around 10. I continue to not realize how depleted I get; so continued prayers there… This is part of why it took so long to write y’all – just haven’t had it in me…

But I’ve spent the last few months hanging out with friends, running a lot, working out – passed my Army Physical Fitness test for this 6 months quite well and enjoyed meeting some fellow reservist here in the Denver area – a wonderful bunch of engineers who were awesome in helping me get this done. I also started talking to the MOB (mobilization) desk about a new assignment. Turns out FT Hood didn’t need the help, but Germany does… So, in God’s timing (A LONG fun God story here, too), I was offered the position of Reserve Rear Detachment Chaplain for Reserve units that are deployed forward (IQ or AFG); which means I'll be looking after the families and Soldiers who stay behind while the rest of the unit goes forward (sort of the opposite job I did from KU/AFG- also very pastoral and I'm looking forward to it!). I’ll be back in Bamberg (for those of you who remember that story – perhaps THIS now is why I went then?!) and I’ll be there for a year. I leave 31 MAY.

So that’s the scoop, dear ones – thanks for hanging in here with me and praying/encouraging me… I really can’t tell you how deeply you all touch my life. And because you do, you free me to touch others. I am a blessed and rich woman.

I’ll post my address when I’m sure I have it right – usually Army rigmarole to go through! But I will say, this MOB is SOOOOO much easier than the last and the guys (chaplains) over there are being SUPER helpful and welcoming – I even still know a few folks from when I was there last time!

Please pray for me for transitions – always tough – the usual travel details and setting up a new life stuff; pray that God would bless me with great friends and help me to continue to maintain the ones he’s given already; pray for the mission – that I would see God and know my role and step into it unafraid. As always, write to me – tell me of your lives and times! I do pray for you guys and LOVE it when you ‘drop in.’ Thanks again for being my friends and fellow travelers…

Winds of Transition...

2009-09-18T12:59:00.000-06:00

Dear Ones

Well, I’ve been in Afghanistan for nearly 2 months now and my experience continues to bear out the Army mantra: hurry up and wait. Only, this is the steroids version. Allow me to elaborate (i.e.: vent)…

When I first arrived on 4 AUG I was told I might be out to my unit in a week – this was meant to impress me, I now realize… Initially I was told one unit, then there was a second thought that emerged from …? But no, the original thought ended up prevailing. All that took nearly 3 weeks. Then I was told I could get a heilo out to my new unit… that took 2 more days…And all of this, I’m told actually took place in record time…*sigh*

So, in the meantime, while I was trapped at what we call a ‘flagpole’ (flagpole= place where great amounts of scary level rank hang out creating a gravitational pull that causes everyone in the immediate vicinity to completely lose their minds…) I joined a band, did some opening prayers for services, got my runtime to fairly fantastic (for me), met a bunch of folks, and built my first piece of ‘furniture.’ The last item was especially fun as there was a fellow chaplain there who was equally stuck as I was – he also is a master cabinet craftsman…so he taught me the very cool/fun and interesting basics of cabinet and, in this case, table making…I can’t wait to have a garage to experiment in…

Finally, after all that drama (including a very cool divine appointment where a young man asked me to lead him to Christ), I finally met my new unit – the 1-121 IN (infantry) BN (Battalion). I’ve never worked closely with an IN BN before and in some ways it’s everything I’ve heard of but in a lot of ways it’s not. It’s very unusual as a female to assigned to an IN unit as they are one of the few still exclusively male units. I think I got the assignment in large part because the unit’s located on a JTF (joint task force) post which has folks from every branch of service (except Coast Guard – sorry my Guardian/Coastie brethren) and there were already 2 other male chaplains assigned to the unit. It seems like a strange set up to me, hey, who am I to blow against the wind? If I get the group of folks I will be working with consistently, I’m happy.

So, the first 2 weeks were basically ‘get acclimated’ to FOB (forward operating bases- wartime posts) Lightning in Gardez (Norther, and East near the Pakistan border)– in some ways, literally – I’m now at 7,800ft in altitude (and yes, my run time immediately tanked…again…*sigh* but I can look forward to being AMAZING when I get back to 1 mile high!). I have found that most of the camp services are lay led which leaves me time to do sermon prep and do ministry of presence – a luxury I never felt I had enough of in Kuwait. It’s also freed up some reading time – I’m reading several things right now: Afghanistan by Rasheed (painfully dry in places, but incredible informative); Grace in Practice by Zahl (I can’t say I’m really enjoing this…I am finding it strangely graceless in it’s systemization); Surprised by Hope, Write(INFINITY valuable stuff as I minister to and with folks who have to live out their theology of the resurrection every day) and Tuesdays with Morrie by Ablom…interesting stuff.

I’ve also begun to join my fellow chaplains in rotating out to visit other FOBs and I am currently at Camp Clark – a lovely (really, it’s very nice) little post that is very well laid out and organized. This is very different from the ministry I was doing in KU, so in a lot of ways I am re-learning my job; difficult for me right now.

This is an interesting thing, ministering in a warzone. In many ways, it’s like ministering at home – amorpic and somewhat boundariless. Though in all my wanderings in ministry back home I don’t recall ever being jarred out of a lunch conversation by the ringing blast of a cannon going off WAY too close to my dinning facility (that was yesterday…I was informed they were practicing…I later went out and found the Battery crew doing the firing – they told me the same. These guys will bring down very accurate fire when called upon by our troops when they come under attack by the enemy out on the roads.)

In many ways, this has been a great adventure and I’ve really enjoyed some of the stuff I’ve been privilidged to be a part of. In other ways, this has been an incredibly lonely time for me personally. I find I miss my friends and family very much – the first time for this deployment – and I’m finding the culture shock exceptionally difficult to breach this time. In many ways, it is difficult for me as a single woman to minister here, both because the AF people are so segregated from women, they just don’t know what to do with us when they see/meet us – they are either way too forward or mean…I’m grateful that I can’t understand what many of them have said to me in passing… so, that’s complex. Then there’s just the normal difficulties of getting to know a new group and find one’s place/voice. The Lord blessed me w/ my first 3 week sermon series – I did it on faith, hope and love; topics the Lord has been hammering me with lately.

All told, this is a phenomenal place and opportunity for ministry, but one must look for it and stay engaged when everything around you cries for disengagement (a survival tactic). I lead my first bible study out here tonight. 3 guys came. We talked about Mat 8 and the storms of Life and where Jesus is when we cry out to him in our terror…the guys really loved it. Jesus is answering our prayers in the mist of our storm of war.

Friends, I am tired. Not of people or even ministry (which is life affirming – I have not slid back into burnout/compassion fatigue) but of transitions. I realize I left my home in Denver CO on 18 JUN 2008 and have only been home 25 days in the time since… I’ve never been overseas this long and while it is my hearts home, I am finding I long for time to pull back and re-evaluate all that I’ve been through. To this end, I’m pretty sure I’m going to take a job offer to help train the next generation of MOB (mobilizing) soldiers at FT Hood in TX for the next year. This will help me ‘pay back’ my owed time to the Reserves before going active duty and it will also give me a guaranteed year in the states; time to rest, refresh and restore.

I would appreciate your prayers for my last 2 months here in country – I unexpectedly found out I need to be home and ‘deMOBed’ just before Christmas, which will mean I have to start my great migration around the 1^st of DEC. Please pray I am able to pour out all of my love and compassion on the men and women I am surrounded by; pray I am not timid at all. Please pray for my transition home…this will be complex for me for a variety of reasons. Please pray for my troopers – they/we really are in harm’s way every day.

The Quirkiness of Life...

2009-08-03T11:23:00.001-06:00

I’ve been thinking about what’s ironic in my life lately… I’m quickly coming to my end of this chapter (at least so far) of my time in Kuwait as a post Chaplain. Some things have been ‘strikin’ me funna’ ‘– when we got here no one could wait to leave (they still can’t…we have to contain the stampede) yet now there is a fondness of this place and especially the people here that I know each, in their own way, will miss and some brave few who dare to think of it, realize will never happen this way again; we truly created a unique and beautiful community here. For all the complaining, I’ve been listening to the types of things people are passing along to the ‘next generation’ – things like, ‘yeah, it’s REALLY dull here, but it’s SUCH a great place – you’re going to love it!’ and there’s still such a spirit of generosity –which so characterized us – folks have given TONS of stuff to our TCN (third Country Nationals- the workers from around the world who serve us in the camp) Drive and to each other – rich and precious store-houses of knowledge and insight into not only surviving being here, but growing and thriving… it’s been really beautiful to watch from ‘around corners.’

This place has deepened my love and experience of Jesus. It’s ironic that when I left RI 4 years ago, I was begging God to send me to the deepest desert because I wanted to die – I wanted my physical life to reflect the deadness I felt in my soul – something poetic and integrity-laden for me (having my insides and outsides match). But the Lord sent me to Denver – a desert, but not the deadest desert, not like where I am now. And I began to breathe again; began to hope, began to wish, began to dream, began to heal… again…in the high desert… from those tender shoots of fresh, renewed life God then sent me into the deepest desert – the deserts of the Middle-East – some of the most conflict-ridden, soul eating places on earth – and I found those tender shoots growing and solidifying and becoming mature and beautiful… And so, I find myself reflecting on the mysteries of God and the souls of the Desert Fathers –how God has used deserts to cleans, heal, restore and grow his people for all eternity, and now my footprints are added to the sands... que bella…

In the desert I have found a tapestry of the richest cloth I have seen to date – people and faces from EVERY place on the face of God’s multi-colored Earth – Bangladeshi, Indian, Pakistani, Hawaiian, Philippines, New Zealanders, English, American, Micronesia, Samoa, Australia, all manner of African Nations, Papua New Guinea, Kuwait, Egypt, Saudi, UAE, Qatar, Iraq and places I can’t even find on maps without Google! Many don’t speak English – but it does still seem to hold that ‘human’ still speaks to ‘human’ and a kind act or smile or tone of voice carries the weight of love any and all ways…There is a beautiful and tiny woman who cleans our living area – whenever she sees me she shyly comes up to me and gives me a hug – I haven’t seen her do this with anyone else – she speaks just a shade of English – I’ve gathered that she has a grown son who is in college or school and I think she’s from Bangladesh – I so honored and humbled that she would show me so much love…

In the desert there is a life most unusual and stunning… as in many harsh environments (be it because of economics or environment) what quickly becomes important are your relationships – you simply cannot ever afford to have enemies in your neighbors – you must make amends if you offend. You must. Your life and livelihood depend on it. This place is no different in spite of become a 1st world nation over night due to the oil; folks still spend months of their years out in tents in the desert so they won’t forget – they spend their nights in fellowship with one another over tea, coffee, hookah, and (as my Hawaiians would say) ‘talking story.’ What is beautiful here is often not what you see with the naked eye – the desert stretches on forever with very little interrupting it except for a town or power lines – what is beautiful is a soul – how one listens, the attention one gives to their host and visa versa. The quality of the interaction and even (I think) to some degree the quantity of the interaction – how much raw time is one willing to give to a friendship or new relationship? It makes me feel both anxious and inspired.

My heart is full as I go on to my next assignment. God has grown, matured and inspired me here. The death I felt as I left RI has been healed and the roots and been addressed and given over (even here more roots were taken). I have several new dear friends, one in particular has become very close and dear to my heart…so many unexpected gifts…There was a vision I had in Africa a few years ago where God was standing with joyful glee and filling my arms with gifts and he had more he wanted to give, but my arms were so full, there was no way to even balance one more, so it would have to wait. And wait it has – when I came here my arms were finally empty and open. He has placed extravagance in my arms once more…hallelujah!!

Please pray for me as I transition over the next few weeks to finish the last 6 months of my tour in Afghanistan. This will be a challenging time of change but an amazing and humbling opportunity to serve our nation’s finest in their darkest hours and one of the more scary places in the world; pray I am strong and courageous in the Lord and not afraid in any circumstance. Pray I preach the Gospel of Life and Love. Pray I reach out in the strength and hope of Jesus and not my own power. Pray Jesus is seen…

The Ides of March...

2009-03-24T05:37:00.003-06:00

This can be a very daunting task writing the monthly updates. For me, time is a fickle thing – moving faster than can be borne some days and so slow I wonder if I’m in trouble for missing something… but none the less, I enjoy writing them as it gives me an impromptu opportunity to ‘download’ some the events of the month.

I’ve been feeling better about my schedule lately – I sort of had an emotional, internal ‘crash and burn’ last month when the pressures of going almost non-stop for 6 months caught up with me after a particular vicious string of weeks without a full day off. It was very disturbing because the last time I did this was when I was on staff with IV and I just felt that that was catastrophic – it took going away for 3 years to seminary to get repair the damage I had caused then. So when I was feeling that depleted again and so quickly – it was very depressing and I spent a few weeks feeling rather depressed.

Now, here’s where the new tools and plans I got in seminary paid off. I’ve been meeting with my Spiritual Director in the states on the phone weekly and she’s been an enormous help and encouragement. Also, when the Lord did present me with a series of days where there was not much going on, so I took advantage of the lull and crashed – just laid low for a few days. Normally I feel very guilty about not being at work when I think I should be. But I had an epiphany that week – I realized I’m working every conscious hour I’m awake – my command has mandated I’m only supposed to be working 8-10hr days (it’s been more like 12-14hr days for me) – so I realized I didn’t need to be coming in at 0830 every morning and staying until 9 or 10 at night. I could come in later on those days I know will be late and I can work out in the morning instead. This was hugely freeing for me and it’s helped me develop a better work rhythm here.

Counseling continues to be a heavy load, though I have found it’s dropped of significantly now that we’re well past the holidays. I don’t know if I mentioned it before, but I’ve been blessed to have a new Navy E6 (MA1 –for those who understand that!) join my UMT (unit ministry team – me and Sanders). It was really difficult having my assist away on block leave for most of FEB, but Chappell (yes, that really is his name) really made it not only bearable, but also doable- between him and a ‘loaner’ from the unit, we actually not only kept the boat afloat, but got some critical supply issues resolved. But I was VERY glad to have Sanders back. I am shocked to realize I can actually keep several assistant employed at any one given time; this was also an epiphany to realize I’m working to much.

The soldiers, sailors and marines here are doing basically very well. We’re all looking forward to Easter and coming home just a few months there after. I got to watch some of the Kuwaiti Air Assault teams practice doing Helicopter jumps onto a parking lot on my run this morning – I never tire of my job…

I am enormously looking forward to coming home for my block leave in June. I am in the final stages of preparing my paper for my final ordination interview. God willing, I should be ordained in Portland on my block leave. The Lord is faithful – he told me when I was 17 he would make me a pastor and that it wouldn’t be until I was in my mid thirties – I’m 35 and schedule to be ordained in June…God is good.

I’ve been thinking about time lately. We spend so much time wishing the time would pass quickly here. We’re basically locked down much of the time here on post, so there can be an oppressive feel to how time runs here. But I’ve been thinking about it – I can never get this year back. If I spend the whole time wishing I were somewhere else or that the time would just hurry up and get on with it – what will I be missing in the here and now? What work of God, beauty of nature or wonder in the growth of a human being (me or someone else) will or even am I missing out on? The need to speed things up must never subjugate the need to be as fully present to the wonder of the moment.

Another thing – I’ve struggled for years in a mild sort of way wondering if I am more of a leader or a shepherd. Well, since I’ve been here I’ve seen a number of people come and go. Recently, I’ve had occasion to see 2 sailors I became very fond of visit our camp for just a few weeks, then go – I was not sure I’d see them again and was sad at their leaving. In the last 2 weeks I’ve had occasion to have them both back for a few days each and it was a joy to see them and minister with them again. I think this settles the debate – I am a shepherd more than a leader (in the sense that a leader looks more at the big picture and is not necessarily concerned with WHO is performing what function so much as what function needs to be performed and what quality/kinds of people he or she has to do them).

Finally – we’ve begun wrapping up things here (I know, it feel early – but you try to coordinate and move several hundred people and equipment internationally and see how long it takes you!) – awards are beginning to be processed, promotions granted, projects looking to their completion. I’ve been writing Sander’s award recommendation and I’ve been asked to submit my to 5 things I’m most proud of. It was a little embarrassing once I’d written it, but fun nonetheless. So, I’ll end by sharing my list with y’all – after all, you’ve been supporting me to do it!

OER accomplishments:
- Trainings (as of 3/09): co-conducted 6 Strong Bonds classes (marriage and relational wellness classes); trained the trainers and assisted in 8 suicide prevention classes (Beyond the Front); assisted in 6 Newcomers Welcome Briefings; and attended 5 UMT trainings by ASG-KU chaplains.

- Conducted (current and projected): 32 Sunday morning worship services; 32 Bible Studies; 20 Praise and Worship Nights; 8 special Holiday services; 5 Movie and a Message events; 5 invocations; 3 hospital visitations; and 45 guitar/music lessons. Provided for the needs of Muslim, LDS and Jewish SMs throughout the deployment by driving them to events, coordinating regular access to services and providing materials (books, prayer rugs, etc.) as requested.

- Counseling (as of 3/09): 24 Red Cross messages; 23 Duty calls; 136 counseling sessions of varying types.

- Facilitated Host Nation relations within the Christian community (as of 3/09): brought 16 SMs to local protestant churches; 60 members of the Catholic community to Mass in the downtown Cathedral; and coordinated a post-wide Benefit drive, raising: non-perishable food, bedding, shoes and clothing for distribution our TCN community

- Improved Chapel supplies and equipment (current and projected): ordered: ACU Bibles; Scholars and Pastor’s electronic libraries for the Chapel (there were NO pastoral reference materials here before); crosses, medals, stars of David, Muslim Chaplain Field Kit; 2 new microphones; I personally serviced and made useable 4 guitars that were in storage; and facilitated and coordinated with the Fire Department to get the Chapel up to current fire code.

Feburary Happenings....

2009-02-19T04:48:00.006-07:00

Dear Ones,
Hard to believe yet another month has passed us by – lent is fast upon us and I prepare for yet another round of ‘firsts’ for the holidays. It’s been another month of great blessings and great trials.

We were blessed to have an evangelist Chaplain out visiting from Virginia last week. He’s the rear-detachment chaplain for the group here and was out to do a sort visit to catch up with his folks. He’s a very fervent and warm hearted brother in the Lord and it was a blessing to have him out for the week. I saw him led at least one person to the Lord! (Pic = I got to go for a ride on an LCAC (hovercraf)- I know, I look a little punchy; the other was a camel ride sponsored by the MWR (rec center)).

I was also blessed to tag along with him to downtown Kuwait city to meet some of the local protestant pastors there – what a blessing to be in the middle of brothers and sisters from all over the world worshiping God together in several different languages – this always impresses me as a foretaste of heaven!

I also got to led a small group of 26 out to KU city to the Catholic Cathedral. It was a rich time of fellowship and worship for my Catholic community and I was blessed to fellowship with them.

I’ve been enjoying several good books lately: The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning and Surprised by Hope by NT Write – these are helping to continue to shape my pastoral identity and thinking – good stuff if you get the time!

I’ve been thinking a lot about the concepts of balance lately – the last two weeks while full of blessings have not been pain-free. It feels like for every blessing I’ve received I had to fight hard in the Spirit to keep and not get torn down in other areas as I continue to learn the different nuances and demands of my job as an officer. Balance to me is looking more and more to Jesus and just asking Him to be enough for each moment as I am sometimes stretched to my limit and beyond. This continues to be a lesson of pruning for me (see John 15) as I continue to grow in my ability to trust God in the ‘deep end of the pool.’

A good friend recently pointed out that I am in a very similar situation to when I was on IV staff just before I left – I am the sole minister to a campus of several hundred souls. And I find I need to fight to keep another chaplain preaching here on a regular basis for our Sunday evening service. She reminded me that growth is always painful but it is something we greatly desire. I’ve been meditating on that the last day or so and while I acknowledge the truth of it, I confess I still don’t like it when I’m in a growing season. She also suggested that God is redeeming some of the negative lessons I learned during my time on staff and giving me a new experience of Him in the middle of what looks like the same situation. I find each week as I prepare to preach I go though a series of anxieties over it, but each week God shows up and an aspect of His Kingdom is revealed, people hear God’s word and lives are touched. And I’m pleased to report I think I have very little to do with it. This has been going on for months now and each week I don’t die, God is actually glorified and the community grows. I hope and pray I am beginning to trust the Lord a little bit more with my life and heart as I publicly declare the goodness of God in the land of the living. I just hope I can learn this sufficiently well so God can return me to the team-based ministry that I love so deeply.

Please do keep me and my little team here in prayer – the battles are sudden and fierce:
- Pray for Sanders as he’s home in HI right now on leave
- Pray for my new assistants MA1 Chappell (a new part time addition to the team courtesy of the Navy – I do LOVE joint forces work! It’s so cool!) and SPC Medeiros who will be covering down during Sanders absence – please pray we jell quickly and work efficiently
- Pray for continued opportunity to fellowship with our fellow Christians in the downtown area

New Years thoughts...

2009-01-07T06:14:00.001-07:00

Hi Gang – hope the holidays were terrific for you! I am doing well here. The weather turned sharply on New Year’s Day – it was a cold, windy and rainy day. It has since gotten a little warmer, but I am beginning to wear my fall weather gear fairly regularly. It still remains sunny and bright during the days and I have no fear of snow (sorry my CO & RI contingents!).

This has been another intense month of looking for God, following his lead and trusting Him alone as my daily bread. This was the first time I lead a congregation through a Christmas season of services… it scared me to death, but through the encouragement of friends near and far, I was able to keep turning this ministry and myself over to His leadership; my daily prayer has been “Lord, this is YOUR ministry, these are YOUR people – help me to not get in your way; let me be an instrument of your peace.”

The services went well, I thought – there were things I learned from it – some I would do again, some, not so much…but in it all, God was faithful and I know there was space in the services for folks to meet with God, so I felt like I did what I was called to do…

I have been finding it intimidating to be preaching every week, but the Lord is so good – this has become a point of stretching me in my faith and continuing God’s long-term work of pulling my perfectionistic tendencies out of me. I am learning to be content with who I am and not demanding I be someone I am not. An old, but continuingly important lesson I do keep having to re-learn. *sigh*

I am pleased to report on the friend-front that I do have a couple of good friend possibilities and I am hopeful to see how the Lord will develop these relationships. One of my new friends even came out to KNB from another camp and kept me company for the entire Christmas Eve/Christmas Day services cycle – I felt sooo supported by the Lord through her friendship!

Now that the holidays are behind us, I feel the mood in the camp lightening some. Christmas time in a deployed setting was incredibly difficult for most of my soldiers and sailors. Thank you for your prayers for us during that season; it made a HUGE difference.

Email continues to be an on-again/off-again affair, so if I don’t get right back to you, that’s why – I am able to consistently get on my army account, so please do write me there if you want to communicate. (terri.king1@us.army.mil) I hope y’all have a blessed New Years – below are my PRs for JAN…

Prayer Reqs:
- God would continue to fill me with his confidence and presence as I preach and teach each week.
- Continued friend development
- Daily grace for the politics I find myself in
- Wisdom on whether to extend my time here at the end or go home with the unit in July
- Continued protection from attacks of the Enemy

Christmas Rambling from KNB...

2008-12-17T02:02:00.002-07:00

Greetings from sunny Kuwait! I hope each of you is keeping very well during this Christmas season! May the light of Christ dwell richly in you as we wait together!

Things here are going well, I think. I’m settling into a weekly routine of sorts where I have meetings, hold services, counsel soldiers do visitation. There is a sense of security that I get from having a routine, but it’s a double edged sword most of the time – on the one hand, I like knowing what I’m doing on a consistent basis, but on the other, I get board very quickly and the routine can grate on me.

The Lord is stretching me in a number of ways, primarily in the ways I am present to people in different venues. Preaching every week is a challenge I haven’t had to do this in a while and it’s forcing me to rely on Jesus as my only source of affirmation. Now, this doesn’t mean people don’t give me affirmation, it just means, I know people are fickle and so have learned not to rely or ‘feed’ on their praise. My classic problem is that I want to do everything at once; the good things that I know take time to develop, I long to see already established. It is hard for me to wait patiently and work slowly, allowing this community to unfold and become what Christ has for it. I want to just be there now. *sigh*

The holidays in a military (I say ‘military’ because we’re Army, Navy and Marines) camp are a strange thing. On the one hand folks are not generally in the festive mood. They feel most keenly the absence of family, friends and holiday traditions at home. And unfortunately, we’ve arrived at just the time of year to catch all the holidays during our stay. So, this is where I see my role as a priest of God and how God has made me intersect with this group. I don’t generally love the holidays when I’m at home. I love being single all the rest of the year, except at the holidays – then it becomes very difficult for me. However, here everyone is feeling like a fish out of water, so –strangely- I don’t feel that way; I love the holidays here! And it enables me to speak words of encouragement, peace and hope into this community. And that is such an encouragement to me, too.

Emotionally, it is a roller-coaster for me. I can be rejoicing with a group of people over promotions or whatnot one minute, the next diving the depths of fresh grief with someone who just lost a loved one. Now, when I’m doing well and am at peace with myself and Jesus, I find this to be one of the best aspects of my job – you never know what you’re going to get and the Lord literally lines the streets with divine appointments. However, when I’m feeling drained and overwhelmed, this is difficult and I feel I have nothing useful to give. Again, the lessons are present: 1st- a constant reminder that this is Jesus’ ministry and love for this folks, not just mine; 2nd – I need to be vigilant about my self-care. (For those of you tracking this – I have managed to get my ‘day off’ mostly nailed down and am now working to get a routine that will actually refresh me established – this is still very hit or miss.)

On the friend front, this continues to be a struggle, but the Lord has provided a few tentative life-lines. I feel like I’ve learned so much about starting a new life from my move to Denver and these lessons are paying off now. I know the Lord has friends for me here, but it takes time to find them and who I start off with may not be who I end up with. So, patience is again the watch-word. It is also complicated making friends here as I am the post chaplain, so it requires someone of fairly significant maturity to be able to see me as a human and a pastor and not have a melt down about either. I have one real possibility for a friend, but she just got moved to another camp, so I’m not sure if we’ll be able to stay in touch. This is a pretty serious need I have, so if y’all could pray for that, I’d sure appreciate it. Right now my major source of support are my fantastic friends back in Denver (I’m SO grateful for y’all!!!), but obviously, I need some fellowship here as well.

Well, thanks for hanging in on this Christmas ramble…do stay in touch – I’m on em regularly at tkin5787@hotmail.com or terri.king1@us.army.mil.

Prayer Reqs:
- Friends for me
- Connections and community here at KNB for everyone
- Holiday mercies for all
- God’s comfort for the grieving (there are a lot)

Initial Impressions...

2008-11-06T04:10:00.002-07:00

This is a neat place. We have Navy, Coast Guard and Army here and we're right on the Persian Gulf. The post itself is rather industrial, but the beauty of the water more than makes up for it right now. I like the contrast of so many worlds in one place - Middle East, American; various military; etc. This post is rather small, so I think it will be possible to build social networks very quickly. The bad flip side to that will be that it will take a short period of time for folks to get board and start doing stupid stuff. It looks like I will be able to get out some and visit my units at a Camp Arifjon which is only a few minutes away by car. I was able to go there yesterday and do a little scouting and meet some of my fellow chaplains - a good networking opportunity for me... SPC Sanders (my chaplain assistant) and I are excited and looking forward to getting to work here. We're setting into our various living quarters- he's in the open bay barracks and I'm in a scary little room in a building of scary little rooms... It'll be fine soon, I just need to get used to it and tweak it a bit... I'm really looking forward to doing ministry of presence here - already had a talk with an american civilian working here about God and family...interesting place/ cross-roads of people...

Arrived

2008-11-04T19:28:00.001-07:00

Hey Gang - just a line to let you know I've made it here safely to Kuwait Naval Base, Kuwait...jet lagging, but happy to be here... - more soon - so many thoughts...

2008-11-02T16:20:00.002-07:00

Well, I'm within a few hours of leaving the US for the longest 'mission's trip' yet...10 months. I find myself waxing nostalgic as of late, but I won't bore you with it... I'm really excited and can't wait... - here's my snail mail addy for the duration:

Terri King (NO RANK)
HHB 1st BN 487th FA
Camp Patriot, KNB
KUWAIT, APO, AE 09337

Reflections on life as of late...

2008-10-25T14:31:00.001-06:00

Dear Friends and Family
Well, it’s been about a month since I wrote and things are starting to settle in some, so I thought I’d take a moment to write. It’s been quite an adjustment coming here, as was expected.

When I arrived here at Ft Hood, TX I immediately received yet 2 more vaccines...one of which was the Flu Mist and yes…it really does give you the flat out flu…I’m not impress w/this so-called vaccine – I think I stood a better shot without it. Anyway, the fall out of that was that the day I met my unit, I was feverish and feeling completely crummy. Were it not for my overwhelming enthusiasm, I think it might have been a disaster.

In the last 3 weeks, I’ve been desperately trying to catch up with trainings, online and off, meeting folks, preaching, leading worship (now that I have my voice back), meeting my unit, FINDING my unit amongst all the others of this 3-Brigade taskforce we’re a part of, trying to heal, doing PT, passing a ‘pop’ PT test (!), counseling soldiers, and team building with the other chaplains in the task force…oh, and I went to Schuyler, NE to do my regional ordination interview…I think that about catches the breadth…

So, its been busy, but with the constant help of the Lord (I kept finding myself in the right places at the right time or saying the right thing to the right person, etc) and a lot of support from my Team back in CO – I’ve managed to stay sane, sort out some of my role and gain some footing in this strange environment.

I’ve found myself reflecting on 2 things lately – what is ‘normal’ and where is ‘home’ (I know, here we are again). Normal for me now means being on-call 24-7, but so far not being called at ridiculous hours. Normal is eating with 50+ other soldiers in a DFAC (dining facility) with some REALLY high fat foods (working on getting around this). Normal, is getting a random call from a soldier in crisis and finding time to meet them and just spend some time pouring into their hearts as they tell their tale. Normal is a daily thirst for God’s word and finding my quiet time is the most critical point of my day. Normal, is calling my friends every few days, trying to remember the last time I talked to them – each day has felt like several, so I can end up calling more frequently than I realize(or what used to be ‘normal’). Normal is wearing the same thing every day, just with different under garments. Normal is living in a one room cell that I think would give a Monk a run for his money. Normal is expecting the Lord to give me what I need when I need it and not a moment before. Normal is looking for an embracing the mercy and grace that surround me as I get to know these people. Normal is looking for opportunities to love people whether it’s by getting them a snack, listening to them or just smiling and give them a decent human being greeting.

I had an epiphany this summer on the subject of home, that I am continuing to live into/test its validity. This summer I was at Ft Jackson. It was a wonderful time of training and fellowship with other new chaplains. However, when I left there, I reported to Training Center McCrady. This was a very difficult place to be in even though it was only for a week. The hardest part was not the accommodations or food or training, but in the know that this was not the place I was supposed to be. Knowing that everything I was doing I would have to do again when I met up with my unit. That place felt useless and pointless in the scheme of my overall mission. That place could not feel like home no matter what I did. And this was the impression I walked away with – this place more than any other in my adult life, was not and could not be home. This hit me on the drive back to CO once I was finally released on a 10 day pass. I often feel at home wherever I am. No matter what the living conditions, I have usually been able to find a sense of equilibrium and thereby home. Not so there. This really helped me to discover that home is not a place. It is not the stuff you have with you, not entirely the people surrounding you. Home is being in the place you know you belong. Home is knowing you are doing and being what you need to do and be and find the space to do it. Interesting…
On a final note, I’ve been reflecting on my ordination interview a few days ago. I had such a good time with them. It was a little stressful, but the gift of not having time to freak out and read everything you can get your hands on to cram, is that you have the chance to sit back a little and watch God come through. It was a delight to sit with the panel and discuss a range of topics together. I never thought such a thing would ever happen to me. What a life I have!

Prayer requests:
- A sense of peace for all of us as we transfer over in the next week or so
- Quick and good communications with the States re-established
- A solid sense of ‘the job’ upon arrival
- A good reestablishment of a healthy life rhythm
- Good use of the time between ‘now and there’

Notes from Jess

2008-10-08T10:46:00.002-06:00

Terri is doing OK!!!!!

Here is here snail mail address through 10/28

Ch Terri King

1-487th HHB

BLDG 56413

Ft Hood, TX 76544

Access to civilian accounts is sparse:

therefore please email her at both her email accounts every time you contact her:

tking5787@hotmail.com and terri.king1@us.army.mil

Transitions...Again...

2008-09-26T09:08:00.000-06:00

I’m sitting in the Denver Airport USO lounge. It’s gorgeous. There’s a little sleeping area, nice homey chairs around round tables, big, squashy chairs, all the snacks, entertainment and internet access one could possibly wish for. I may never leave! I hear this is one of the nicest one around.

Last night I met with most of my Team; a group of incredibly gifted, talent, and fun pastors and friends who will be helping look after my life and me while I embark on this incredible journey. It was a very rich time of fellowship, community, and joy.

When I was 17 and just figuring out I really was a Christian, the Lord spoke to me in joy and said that He would make me a pastor. I was very excited (had NO idea of the women in the pastorate issue in the Church), but then he told me it wouldn’t be until my mid-30s, so chill. Today, I am 35, hold my first pastoral credentials and am embarking on my first assignment as a specifically called pastor. God is good, faithful and true.

Everyone keeps asking me how I’m feeling. In some ways, I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. I know that I’m not feeling bad, but other than that, I think there are too many things pulling in too many directions to choose any one feeling. As much as it is sad – a point of grief and grieving – that I’m leaving Denver and my friends in the US, knowing that all those relationships will be changed as I will be changed when I get back – I’m also captured by the 18 year calling and wooing of God to be out in his fields- chasing, playing, dancing, resting, working with Him in all He’s doing. And that sense of comradery with Him so fills and fulfills me.

I have worked very hard to stay here and be present to my friends and communities as I’ve waited to begin this leg of the journey; I want to be careful to honor the friends, mentors and teachers (formal and informal) who the Lord has used to bring me here, yet my heart is every looking forward to what is to be done. Thus, I have a mixed reaction to going. In many ways I’m in a great place – I love where I’m going, and I love where I’ve been. I suppose the overriding feeling is perhaps Hopeful.

I will be in SC tonight, then TX joining my unit tomorrow morning. Pray for us!

Reflections on Big Army In-Processing…

2008-09-10T19:14:00.000-06:00

Now…I need to qualify everything I’m about to whine about. Compared to what Vets from WWII, Korea and Vietnam went through, my life is a dream…

In processing in the Army is A THING. Thus far, my life in the Army has been carefully sheltered, managed and judiciously exposed to the larger, person-eating processes of the Big Army…. All bets are off now, baby…

So, on Sunday, 7 September, 2008 I officially began to engage my career as a soldier… I reported to Training Center McCrady, right next to sunny Ft. Jackson, SC. This is a Mobilization station for IRR (which I am) and N. Guards (which I’m going to be working with). This is a confused and confusing place with a VERY dedicated staff of NCOs and civilians (and the occasional officer) working EXTREMELY hard to get us through this experience as quickly as possible, while still keeping us basically intact as human beings…this is a hard job…
We start off by knowing absolutely nothing before arriving here – most with absolutely NO IDEA (like me) WHAT we will be doing or WHY we are here and not training with the unit our orders mention we are assigned . Now, I say ‘mention’ because the unit to which we are assigned is really no more than a footnote in single spaced full page type – it’s barely a bi-line. You have to work to find it. I had to call a Major Chaplain I know to interpret the orders for me…and it took him a bit to get it figured out, too. What chance did I have as a buck LT and baby Chaplain?! *dear in headlights*

But, in spite of all that, I’m just bouncing up and down because it looks like God really means it; He really does want me to care for soldiers in harms way…I’m stoked!

Then I arrived here…

Now, all ‘bouncing’ must cease (or at least be stuffed in a duffel bag temporarily) as the mood here is VERY TENSE. The staff are great and working hard to ‘humanize’ this potentially VERY dehumanizing process. But we new soldiers aren’t staff… we’re tense – ready for whatever might pop up out of the woodwork – a cranky Drill SGT ready to drop us (do push-ups), an officer disguised as a civilian who might be offended by humor revolving around criticizing the higher-ups for the organization we now find ourselves in, the occasional ‘turkey’ of a fellow soldier who just ‘won’t get with the program’ and play well with others…we ready. We can do it. We can handle it. We think…

So we’re tense…it’s taken until today for that to ease off and us to realize this too will pass, we are all human beings, we all have good intentions at heart and are actually an AMAZINGLY cool bunch of people. And the Drills are not that cranky and are absolutely not dropping any of us. And the officers are cool – great stories and leading well by example (at least in attitude if not in barracks hygiene…for at least one of them, it’s been 30 years since he’s been living in a barracks) and I have yet to find a genuine turkey yet…

So..you ask, dear friend…what HAVE we been doing? Paperwork. Forms. Receiving 7 immunization shots…in 2 days… Hearing tests. Vision tests. Physicals. Briefings. Paperwork. Finance (gettin’ paid…). New ID cards. Paperwork. Waiting in line to do…you got it, more paperwork… The last 3 days have been an overwhelming blur of waking between 4- 5am, rushing to get to the site where all our stuff is being processed, waiting, rushing, waiting, getting back to the barracks between 6-9pm, crashing, trying to work out (I have managed to get in 2 days!!!) and trying to not let the stress and weird pace make us all sick (I’ve been religious about my vitamins…)

I’m bruised, exhausted, starting to come out of being completely overwhelmed and totally blessed. The other thing that’s been happening these last few days is that I’ve been getting to know and encourage the soldiers surrounding me. We’re all very anxious – we know we could be going to places where we or someone we’re going to know could get seriously hurt or killed. We all have people we love back home who we’re fearful of how the time and events that happen while we’re apart will change us and our relationships. We fear the potential of many losses. Yet, we’re here. Some will stay and do what they can, coping as best they can. Some cannot stay for a variety of reasons and will go back to difficulties already in progress. I have had such unique and amazing opportunities to love on the folks around me and be the presence of Christ among them. It’s been humbling and awe-inspiring for me, in the moments I have had to reflect. I’m getting my ‘bounce’ back out of the duffel…please keep us in prayer.

Here We Go Kids...

2008-09-05T18:07:00.003-06:00

****For those of you looking for more pictures - I am posting ALBUMS on Facebook - it's a faster load time than here - so most pics in the future will be there***
Dear Friends
Well, I have finished my training here at Ft. Jackson and have officially graduated from the officer basic course. It’s been a stressful last few days and lots has been happening in general the last few weeks. I suppose the biggest news is that I will be deploying with a Hawaiian National Guard Battalion to Kuwait for a year! I am very excited about my first mission with the Army and am going though many of the feelings and preparations I have gone through in the past as I’ve prepared myself to be in foreign counties.

This assignment came up about 2 weeks ago and the details have been in the process of working out ever since, with details and plans radically changing daily; it has stretched even my flexibility. While my unit is from the great islands of HI, our training will be held here on the mainland, so alas, I STILL don’t get to go to HI. *sigh* It sounds like they’re a great bunch of guys and I’m enormously looking forward to meeting them. It looks like we’ll be in the US for a few months training up on the details of our mission then head ‘down range’ together in late OCT, early NOV.

I’m experiencing a mix of emotions right now and feel very aware of the transitions I’m in. Mostly I feel glad and affirmed. The Lord has guided my steps all these 17 years of following him right up to this moment. I feel very aware of how each step lead to the ones that bring me here today; how beginning to think about how my youth group was run after just being a Christian for a few months, to taking my first tentative steps to lead and care for others in my college fellowship, to my first overseas mission project, to becoming and IV staff person, to joining the Covenant, to delivering my first sermon in an African church, to leading my first mission project, to moving to Denver, to taking my 1st Oath of Office, to graduating from seminary, and now, to graduating from an Army Officer basic course…wow. In some ways, I feel like I'm going through a type of 'ordiantion' from each memeber of the Trinity - Seminary was from the Father, this school was from the Son and the one from my denomination will be from the Holy Spirit...

One of my classmates asked me the other day if I felt prepared to be going down range. I just laughed and told him, ‘no.’ I have learned enough to understand that we never know what we think we need to know before embarking on a great journey with the Lord; there are reasons why he asked his disciples to take nothing with them on the road. I told him that in following the Lord one must learn to trust more and more and that it’s not about what you bring – no matter how great or valuable it may be – but it is about what the Lord will bestow on you as his beloved child and faithful servant as you look to him on the road he has asked you to walk.

I feel very blessed. I have an amazing contingent of colleges in the Chaplain Corps; I really do grieve leaving here because they made such a great community even in just the short time we were here. I’ve also been reflecting on my training. I feel like I’ve done nothing but train for the last 4 solid years. The other thing I have been feeling is… sick of training – how much more can I do before I become no earthly good? This is also a good sign to me that I’ve healed a lot from my last time in ministry and am indeed ready to get out there again and see what the Lord will use me for.

I don’t have an address yet, but I’ll post it ASAP. In the meantime – here are the PRs for the month:
- The biggest PR I have is that I’ll get to attend (and be prepared for) my Ordination interview 20OCT-22OCT; there is a slim possibility I can make it. This would open the possibility of being ordained next summer in the Evangelical Covenant.
- In conjunction with that, please pray that I am able to get leave 21-28 JUNE 2009 to come back and be ordained – again a huge leap, but God can do whatever he wants!
- I would love prayer for my time right now – I’m stuck at Ft Jackson for 3-25 days doing I-don’t-know-what. Pray that I get out of here quickly so I can start meeting and working with my unit at Ft Hood.
- I need about a 10 day window before I go down range so I can sell my truck and meet with some folks back in Denver to get my life the rest of the way arranged. Please pray for the timing on that and that I DO get the time.
- Pray for my unit – they are going through the normal pains of remembering how w deployment works and could use all the prayers and encouragement they can get – safety and health.
- Pray for me that I would be able to get done all they need ASAP and bond well with my folks.

Settled in...

2008-07-30T09:31:00.000-06:00

Dear Family- Around – The – World:

Greetings from sunny, stormy, humid Ft. Jackson, SC! Well, I’ve been here nearly 2 weeks now and am happily settling into a routine of working out, Death By Power Point (this is what we call all the classroom instruction – there is no army presenter who can present without pp…). I have really been settling in this time and am much more able to look around and be genuinely present (for the most part) to get to know my classmates and instructors better. This really is a much more laid back environment this time.

Surprises:
- There are 2 instructors here from last time – wonderful, approachable, pastoral types – one is PCSing (permanent change of duty-Station) and the other is the course manager.
- There are *GASP* 4 (!!) Covenant Chaplains here!! I think this must be a Bermuda triangle of some sort – I don’t think I’ve seen this many even at our annual conferences! 2 are instructors, I am a student, though a full chaplain) and one is a North Park student who ALMOST went to Denver Seminary (turns out I met him and his wife when they did a visit…hummm…perhaps this why he didn’t come to DS…*insecure!*)
- The PT is not as stressful as last time. I feel very used to the workout schedule and it’s not such a shock to my body or mind as it was last time.
- I did officially pass my PT test! I heard they ‘jacked up’ (messed up) the taping for body fat for folks, so that score did not come through right – they told us this test would count as a diagnostic and not the ‘real’ thing. But I have decided to do Special Populations (sp. Pops) anyway as I feel that I do probably deserve to be there and it just is nicer doing afternoon workouts with others…

This week has been a lot of classroom instruction on a WIDE range of topics from the bean counters (how we get/appropriate and use money in our units) to more helpful stuff for direct ministry, like how to do an annual training cycle around a deployment and all the different area of respoinsibility we will have. There has also been some good stuff on professional ethics, morality in war and practical learning as we perform Field Services in our platoons.
We did a live fire exercise yesterday where they paired us up with AIT (Advanced Infantry Training) soldiers and had us (and them) practice how to work with/protect a chaplain in a hostile environment. I am pleased to say our soldiers were up to the task and all the chaplains lived! I did sustain an injury in the field, however – I was ruthlessly attacked by a Yellow-Jacket Bee while standing by a bush listening to instruction….needless to say, my hand is very puffy right now and I am looking forward to the swelling to go down…

Do continue to keep me in your prays and do keep up the correspondence – I have LOVED the little note (thanks Susie and Robin!) I’ve gotten here and the emails just give me such joy!

Prayer Reqs:
- Continued good weight-loss
- More speed on my run time (I’d LOVE to be able to do it in 19.30 – I’m at 20.53 right now)
- Healing for my hand from the bee sting
- The presence and peace of God as I lead a practice Field Service on Friday

2008-07-21T15:07:00.002-06:00

Hey Gang - just a quick update as things get rolling here...

I love it here. It's so much different than the last time I was here - I'm so much more confident and just know the Army so much more - I feel like I have a much better grid for knowing what's what and don't just have to take everything in. Folks here seem more laid back than last time as well...could just be me though. But there are a lot of folks from 2 years ago - instant pals! More soon - here's my mailing addy for while I'm here:

CH (1LT) Terri King
USACHCS
CH-BOLOC Class# 08-002
10100 Lee Rd
Ft. Jackson, SC 29207-7090

and do please pray I do ok on my APFT (fit test) this friday!!

2008-07-16T15:49:00.004-06:00

Hey Gang - well in a few short hours I will start the drive back to Ft. Jackson, SC to complete my Chaplain training - YEA!! I'm totally excited this time - not at all terrified (like last time!). I'm looking forward to a nice road trip, time with friends along the way and getting into the routine at the Ft. Please keep these items in prayer - and STAY IN TOUCH! ;)

- safe travels (Fred (my truck) is on the older side now (195k miles))
- good fellowship with God and friends I meet along the way
- good establishment/integration to the routine at Jackson
-favor on my PT test next Friday (25th)
- quickly build rapport with the other chaplains/make good friends this summer

For those of you on Facebook - check out my photo albums for some of my recent adventures. For those of you not on facebook, it's ok- I'll still post some pics here - it's just much more expedient to post them there...

I'll send my address again on here when I get it - I expect cards and fan mail! ;)) - love, ter

Reflections on Becoming Swedish...

2008-07-06T19:42:00.002-06:00

Hey Gang! I am currently in Chicago for a week-long course on the History of the Evangelical Covenant Church. Of course I procrastinated the readings for this course (about 1000 pages...really, perhaps more) until last weekend, but have managed to get it down to about 200 remaining. Now, what I hate about that is that for the last 4 or 5 days I have had relatively little I could do besides read....what I love is that now that I'm here, I am literally staring at and interacting with the buildings and streets that I've just been reading about.

The short version is this: ok, so we've all heard of Martin Luther (famous catholic Monk and academian who posted his 95 thesis (suggestions for reform in the Catholic church) on a cathedral door on the campus he was working on in 1517 in Germany), well LONG story short -Luther's ideas change the world and every European country over the course of the next several centuries. Sweden (birth place of the ECC) is no different and by the early 1800s the Lutheran State Church is the officially sanctioned church of the people. The thing is, after several hundred years, even a good idea gets stale and people began to look again for a fresh movement of God in their lives. Pietism started in Sweden c.1800 as a movement of individuals and small groups of Christians started to gather together to read the Word and discuss how they can more deeply and fully live out the Scriptures. This is so common for us now that we instantly think - 'yeah, and?' - BUT this was revolutionary stuff 'back in the day' - at that time you were considered 'saved' if you went to church; birth an baptism into the Lutheran church = salvation, NOT personal relationship with Christ. So folks were not generally encouraged to read scripture for themselves; it was frowned on...after all how could the laity properly interpret scripture... I guess they put a little more faith in education (a good and useful thing) and not as much is the Holy Spirit (when He’s not being abused!)…So we think of someone as being 'Pious' as a really negative thing, but when it started out these cats were basically the original Charismatics -very lively and fully engaged in each other and the work of God in their lives and work...VERY COOL.

Well, even longer story shortened, there was more and more tension between the State church and these new pious movements (these people were called lasare (readers) and later banded together in groups called Mission Friends – NOT intent on separating from the Church at all, but again seeking a more vibrant spiritual life) until eventually the Church gave them less and less recourse to splitting off and forming new groups. Out of these groups the Swedish Covenant was eventually formed. Now (we’re up to about 1880 now), there was a really grievous famine happening in Sweden, causing about 1 million Swedes to immigrate to America. There had been a fair amount of immigration happening for various reasons before this, but the famine put it over the top. Many of the immigrants settled in the mid-western states and just did what they did in Sweden – set up Mission Friend societies and made contact with their local Lutheran church (I won’t go into the whole Synod’s thing here…). Well, this was ok for a bit, but eventually what the Mission Friends wanted out of life and fellowship could not be found in the Lutheran ranks and so they split (or were booted out, as the case may be) and formally founded the (now) ECC in 1885 in Chicago.

So it’s this interesting movement that started out with deep concern for the will of God, God moved some of them from Sweden to America where they experienced freedom to grow and become more of who God has for them to be. They’ve established a hospital, a seminary and undergrad school and a whole bunch of outreached and missions to the poor, disenfranchised and lost across the world…that’s how far I’ve gotten so far.

NOW, here I am, little English-Hungarian girl, in the middle of what used to be a predominantly Swedish and Jewish immigrant neighborhood. I’ve spent about a solid week reading all about Swedish history and immigration history and I’m wondering…Did I sign up to become Swedish when I joined this group? Lol! I don’t know yet – I’ll keep you posted on that – but even if I did, I’m thinking that might not be a bad thing!

pics!

2008-06-06T15:33:00.007-06:00

These sunset pics are from St. Benedict's Monestary in Snowmass, CO - I took them during spring break (March) when I was there on a personal retreat (GREAT time w/God!)

Graduation!!!

This is my family: L-R: Dad (Leo), Me (duhh), Christianne (Dad's wife), Scott (brother), and Mom (Hilda).

This is one of my best buddies since I moved out here - Susan - she has been such a support to me as I wrestled through these last few years!

These are two of my favorite professors: Professor Emig and Dr. Dallaire - both are lanugage teachers! (The languages were among the class I learned the most in, but had the hardest time).

This is a goofy pic of another of my closest friends - Nancee and Jess (middle) - LOVE these guys!

Life ...of late...

2008-06-04T18:44:00.001-06:00

Dear Ones!
I know, it’s been FOREVER since I updated this thing – I finally got smart and pre-wrote my thoughts on Word, so this blog would stop eating my entries. So much has happened in the last few months: finishing in Germany; getting re-commissioned into the Reserves; graduating from seminary; running in my first official race!

Germany
First of all – thanks so much to all of you who prayed, emailed and were available for me to bugg when I got the chance to call- you love and support meant (and means) the world to me. Germany went extremely well. I had the opportunity to see and participate in a vast array of ministry stuff while there. I was able to serve 200 hundred soldiers by doing ‘spot-check’ pastoral care as they processed their paperwork for deployment (these soldiers are all down-range now), participate in and partially lead a singles retreat and spend about five days in a field training exercise (FTX) with a group that deployed about two weeks after I left. I was privileged to work with some really soft-hearted, humble chaplains who gave me ample opportunities to serve and learn; I am so grateful for their ministry to me during that time.
Additionally, I was able to spend some time as a tourist. I got to see some of the cities of Nuremberg, Garmicsh (ski town), Bamberg and brief glimpses of several others en route to other destinations. (And yes, Dad, I did ride the train!) I think the absolute highlight as a tourist was seeing a live performance of Carmina Baranah (130 person choir – men’s, women’s AND children’s) and a Mozart piano duet performance at a Nuremberg concert hall – it was truly spectacular! (Susie – you would have DIED for the organ in that hall!!)

Re-commissioning
So, it’s funny what was hectic and what was not this last semester. One would expect that the last semester in seminary would be one of frenetic finishing. Far from it. This was the most tame semester perhaps of my higher education career. Some of this was planned; I save easier classes for the end and did the scarier stuff early to give myself ‘fail’ room (I did not fail…so I had more time than I anticipated). But what was hectic were the other 2 ‘legs’ of the 3-legged stool that are the Army, ECC (church) and Seminary. This semester I ended up taking two trips to continue along the ‘ordination trail’ in the ECC process. I took a week-long class in KS on Vocational Excellence (VocEx) and a three day trip about a month later to Omaha to do the interview for my pastoral license.

The VocEx class was TERRIFIC. They had us do a battery of psychological tests prior to coming out and then formatted the week to be a really cool hybrid of class and retreat. It turns out that I am actually sane (wheew!), but that I suck at self-care (what a shock). This was, in a weird way, good to hear as this was something that I had been thinking/praying about for a while before this retreat – so I took it as a confirmation that this is something God is speaking into my life. I spend much of the rest of the semester talking and praying about things gleaned from this retreat; what a great growth time.

The trip to Omaha, while completely nerve-wracking, went very well. I think I had emed y’all some about that one, so I’ll spare you some of the details now. It turned out to be a wonderful opportunity to meet other Covenant pastors and let them get to know me some. And in the end, they decided that I could be a pastor, too ;). Now, for those of you who are unfamiliar with this process – this was NOT ordination – that is scheduled to be next summer…but more on that later. For now, I am a licensed pastor, under the authority of other ordained pastors.
The other thing that kept me hopping this semester was putting together a ‘packet’ for the Army to be re-commissioned into the Reserves. And, no, I have no idea why they do this – I keep my same rank (1LT), and my time in service/grade counts from the time I first commissioned, not this new one. But the one real difference is that I am now considered a full chaplain (as opposed to a candidate), but they have asked me to wait to take a local position or wear the cross on the uniform (Christian chaplains wear this in addition to rank) until I finish Chaplain School this summer…but more on that later… Needless to say, we got the packet done and I was accepted…but it did take quite a bit of attention to details that I did not feel I had the energy for… (PLT)

Graduation
Well, I officially have a Masters degree now (yea!*and there was much rejoicing*). I received my MDiv w/a concentration in Chaplaincy on 17 MAY. This was one of those truly spectacular weekends for me. It will live in my heart and memory as one of the personal greats for a long time to come. There were many wonderful surprises God had for me: many of you sent cards and well wishes on em (SO COOL!) and many came out to my graduation party that afternoon (SO FUN!!); my entire immediate family was able to come out (dad, Christianne (dad’s wife), mom and brother) and celebrate – it was SO AWESOME to have them meet my Colorado family and visa versa; and an additional surprise was that I was co-awarded the Chaplaincy award for my class. This is given to the students (2) who the school believes have demonstrated excellence in and great potential for chaplain work in the future. It was a VERY unexpected honor (I heard I turned grey when they called my name).

The rest of the day was devoted to picture taking, catching up w/folks during the open-house at my apartment and an EXCELLENT dinner at a local Italian restaurant. The next day I saw family off to the airport and had a wonderful breakfast with my dad and his wife before they left in the early afternoon. It was truly a weekend of blessings for me.

What’s happened since graduation?
I have been enjoying some absolutely EXCELLENT down time. I have kicked my work out routine into high-gear (lose the ‘stress pounds’ gained at the end of the semester) and recently ran the Boulder-Boulder, a 10K (6.2mi) fun race in the city of Boulder, CO. It was SO FUN. My time was miserable (1.27), but it was a hoot to see people in costumes, local garage bands out on the sidewalks, and the literally thousands of people who came out to run and encourage. My friends Jess and PJ were in the race with me and my friend Susan was our ‘pit crew,’ carrying extra clothes/bags to the finish line for us. I heard there were 53,000 (yes, thousand) who participated in the race this year – the biggest in its 30 year history!

Additionally, I have joined a local soft-ball mixed adult league; we’re 3 and 1 now (not too shabby!). I’ve also recently read the book “The Shack” – an interesting fictional interpretation of the Trinity in a so-so story format. I was blessed with some gift certificates to a book store and have started to read Mother Teresa’s story (the controversial one that includes clips from her diary) – it is SO COOL to read about a modern mystic… and I have also picked up Great Expectations by Dickens (wanted to read it for a long time). My days have been filled with good work outs, excellent people time – catching up with friends old and new – some reading, some emailing, some prepping the rest of the summer, teaching a guitar student (who is AWESOME!), contemplating playing guitar more myself, vegging and generally enjoying the grace God has poured out on my life currently.

What’s Next?
The June looks pretty much the same as above. Starting July 7th I will be in Chicago at North Park Theological Seminary for a week long history of the Covenant class (another step in the ordination process- and a very interesting topic (I love history)), then I will have about a week to get the paper for that class done and pack up for about 2 months of Army training back at Ft. Jackson, SC. I will be finishing the Chaplain office basic course which will qualify me to deploy (war zone) or mobilize (non-war zone). I have one more event to attend for my ordination qualification in late October, but I am looking for and hoping the Army will send me off somewhere in the world sometime starting in November. At this point it does not look like I will need to move anytime soon, so I expect I’ll be back in CO in early September – though I will have my celly on me, so DO CALL ME ANYTIME!

Prayer reqs.
I love what I’m doing and finally preparing to do. Please pray God would open a door for me to ‘get crackin’’ in November. The timing on this will be somewhat critical for me as student loans will come knocking very shortly thereafter, and I would really like to honor my obligations!
Ok, so that’s CERTAINLY enough for now…I have some reflections on life as of late I’ve been pondering, but I’ll spare you for the moment until I can get this and some pics loaded…
Thanks for being here for me – I appreciate and love you guys to death!

The Middle...

2008-01-13T04:28:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang - sorry it's been so long since I wrote - more mess with computers and timing. This has been a very good and eventful week for me. I was able to work with 200 soldiers who were preparing to deploy over the next few months at something called a PDP (pre-depolyment somthing...) The first day I worked with another chaplain who treined me in what the event was and what our role in it was to be - mainly checking ID tags, signing paperwork and checking in with them on their basic emotional health as they prepare for this deployment to Iraq or Afganistan. It was a real blessing to be the pastor caring these men and women as they went through this event.

I was also blessed to be able to be a part of something called a CRC meeting (Case Review Commitee) which tries to intevene in soliders, dependants and civilians' lives when they get complicated on base - this is a stop gap measure desigend to help families before there needs to be more judicial/leagal involvment with the families. It was good to learn how the commitee (comprised of social workers, an MP, a Lawyer, a Doctor and the comander of the base as well as the chaplain) works and the types of things I can expect to get involved with once I'm doing this full-time. It's pretty mesy, but the light never shines so bright as when it's darkest.

I will be going on a field excercise this week (FTX) and have managed to get some gear together to prepare for it. It's a time of practicing how a unit (or batallion or brigade - different sized groups) will work when they are in a deployed situation. The group I will be going with will deploy in the next year, so this training, while in some moments will be fun, in many moments will be fairly serious learning as they prepare for real life stuff.

Personally, I find myslef again in between two worlds - not quite a civilain not quite a solider, though more one than the other (not sure which). I have manged to make some good connections with people here, so it feels a little saddening to leave, though I do miss friends in the states - thus, the two worlds thing. Please pray for me and my troups this week as we 'play' in the field - that we stay safe as we practice. Pray for me, too as I prepare to come back to CO for my semester of seminary. I return on the 24th. - love, Ter

Acclimating...

2007-12-21T03:39:00.000-07:00

Greetings Friends!! Well I've been here a week now and am fairly well over the jet lag. It is bloody cold here, though not really more than CO or even RI this time of year - consistantly in the 30s - I've just been on foot for everything, so I'm much more aware of it. I have managed to get my American-in- Germany drivers license (there are lots of nifty road signs I had to learn...).

You know you're on an Army base when you say this sentence: "Oh, Sergent - do you have a minute to take a picture of me in front of that tank?"...that was one of my more favorite things to have had the opportunity to say since I've been here...

So far, a 'typical' day is shaping up to be: 0630 workout, breakfast/reset, go to the post chapel, meet folks, do in-processing stuff and try to jump on anything I see the other chaplains doing. It looks like I will get to see/particiapate in a singles solider's retreat in two week - this will be fun, since I've only atteneded a couples retreat so far! (and yes, I was sinlge for that, too! *lol*) I hope to do some ride-alongs with the local MPs and perhaps some range time with one of the batallions that will be deploying later this year.

Personally, I've been doing very well with the exception of some confusion on my housing that has come up. Some of the SGTs around here are telling me my orders will not cover the place I'm staying in, though it is the typical place I stay on these stints - so, not sure if there's some European thing my command/I am not aware of. Do pray for me that this will be favorably resolved as it could mean a thousand dollars out of my own pocket if it goes badly.

Other than that, I've been enjoying meeting new people, exploring my neighborhood, on and off post and checking out downtown Bamberg's Christmas Market. I'm thinking I'll head down to Nurenberg over the weekend and see what's happening there. Brats are perhaps the worlds most perfect food here...

I'm still working through buggs on gettings pics uploaded...so...the above was the only one I could get today... more to come! - ter

Greetings From Bamberg!

2007-12-16T10:54:00.000-07:00

Hi Friends! I have safely arrived at Bamber USA Garrison! I only have a few minutes to write before this place closes, so I'll be brief:
you can snail mail me at :
Bamberg Inn Lodging
USAG Bamberg
1LT Terri King
CMR 459
APO AE 09139

I'm working on a cell/skype, just sent off my addy to the Geeksquad folks who have my laptop, so that'll still be a while...

I'm doing terrific, despite jetlagging out of my skull...have jumped in with both feet, as usual - more to come - thanks for all the GREAT encourgaments/notes/ prayers - SOOO appriciated - keep up the good work! - love, Ter

Traveling!

2007-12-13T14:54:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys - Do pray for me today - I am traveling and it looks like I will not have my laptop for a few days? Weeks? Best Buy/ Geek Squad has it and won't let it go... they tell me they'll mail it to me IN GERAMNY... pray that that happens qucikly - I dont' think I can get skype/firgure out skype w/o it... - so, prayers too that I will adjust well w/o close friends at hand. I'm doing very well - finshed calsses last night (!) and am stoked to be going!! Stay in touch (I will find termainls along the way) - love Ter

GERMANY!

2007-12-10T16:03:00.000-07:00

Greetings, Friends! First of all, let me update you on some of my life...
- I have PASSED my Doctrinal Orals (a really big, scary paper that one completes and defends in front of a panel of 2 professors that one signs up for for no credit and cannot graduate without completing...very scary...copies available upon request)
- Tomorrow is my last day at my CPE internship, Porter Adventist Hospital. I've had an incredible learning experience and have LOVED working with the other chaplains (AMAZING!!) and staff at this excellent hospital. I will genuinely miss being here.
- It now looks VERY good that I will GRADUATE next semester!!!
- I leave for Bamberg, Germany this Thursday...ok, I can't really just slide that in, can I?

So, here's the story...
About a month ago I woke from a very strange dream. I can't remember what the dream is now, but I remember having the definite impression that the Lord had told me to get my butt to Germany. When I was more conscious, I thought "Humm, wasn't that a strange dream?" and pretty much was going to let it go at that. However, the next night in one of my classes one of my classmates told a story of a young Vet he had just met that changed my mind; it seemed to me to be a sign that the Lord really had spoken. Now, I knew that there were 2 slots open for the Germany practicum for the Reserves. I also knew that there are several hundred slobbering Chaplain Candidates drooling over this assignment. But, I put in my paperwork trusting that the Lord would do what he would do. Sure enough, about two weeks later my commander called me up and told me I had been chosen for the assignment. This is, needless to say, quite an honor.

I will depart in a few days for Bamberg which is about 45 minutes north of Nuremberg in central Germany. I don't speak a lick of German, so I think this will be a really interesting time! I will be there through the holiday, returning in late January to complete my seminary education. I will be posting pictures and updates often, so do keep checking back every few days starting Monday. I plan on using Skype to be able to touch base with folks, so if you have an account, let me know! I'm mostly ready to go now, just finishing one last class Wednesday night, so I just need your prayers and support now!

Prayer Requests:
- For me to be fully open to what ever He has planned for me for this time.
- Travel mercies/ good connections
- Culture Shock!
- Divine appointments
- God's peace to be on my family as I'm overseas for the holidays - I'm not normally with my family for the holidays, but I know they worry about me when I leave the country.
- The Lord's continued favor as I learn to minister to and with the military.

Seasons of Change...

2007-10-18T16:36:00.000-06:00

I love the Fall. I have finally decided that it is my favorite time of year. One can enjoy the comfort of long pants, yet still wear a T-shirt. It is also a time of winding down. All summer is a hurried, mad dash to enjoy as much outdoor goodness as physically possible before the snows come to dust our doors once again. And Winter is a huddled misery of waiting. The Fall is an in-between time. It is neither blazing hot nor freezing cold on a consistent basis.

This fall is reminding me of my life and the seasons of change that I have and am going through. I am currently in a program called CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) - it is part of my seminary education, but also counts toward national accreditation as a chaplain. This is a VERY intense program of professional and personal development. As part of this program I have an internship working at Porter Adventist Hospital here in Denver. I meet people from EVERY walk of life three days a week. I am learning how to engage a total stranger with care and sensitivity. It is truly a blessing, honor and privilege to be in this position of trust both with the hospital as well as patients.

Everyone suffers loss and grieves. So have I. This fall I am thinking a lot about loss and the resulting hope that eventually can come of it. Loss makes room for newness - not necessarily newness that we would have wanted, but none the less, newness that we eventually get the opportunity to choose back.

God willing, I will be graduating from seminary and continuing the journey toward Army Chaplaincy this May. The feeling of transition is strong in me now - loss (or change) of the good things I have gained here - professional and personal friendships, a stable place to call 'home' - and am facing both the grief of that change and also preparing to open myself to the new opportunities and friends that are waiting to be. Please keep me in prayer - love, Ter

Summer Pictures...

2007-07-23T15:03:00.000-06:00

Hey Gang - I hope your summers are going well. I've been 'slaving' away at my summer class during the week, but have been getting out into the outstanding nature of CO on the weekends - here are some pics I've taken over the last few weeks. It's springtime in the mountains here. the mountain is Holy Cross, a 14,000 ft mountain in the Sawatch mountain range. We were not able to summit, but I did get a picture of the summit from 13,300 ft. The waterfall pic is from Portland, OR when I was at the Covenant Annual Meeting last month and many of the flower picture are from Herman's Gulch. God bless and stay in touch! - peace, ter

Operation Desert Locust

2007-06-14T15:20:00.000-06:00

This morning as I drove into work through the parking lot, I noticed there was a locust on the lamp post I parked in front of. As I adjusted my Beret and walked toward the building, I noticed he had friends...So I find myself in my first Locust Invasion. Now, there are lots of operations happening out here in Texas with 'high speed' (the Army word for 'Really Cool') titles like Operation Warrior Command and Operation Boots on the Ground. So it makes me want to have a really cool title for my little Hospital operation. So I think I'm going to settle on Operation Desert Locust.

Things here are going well. I continue to do lots of different things in a given week from visiting patients and ministering to them to attending trainings on things like MasCals (we did another one at a different venue yesterday) to going out to the ranges on post and visiting some of the training operations happening out there to getting a chance to preach at a chapel service or led worship. Each day brings with it it's own challenges and opportunities. As I wrap up my time here and start to think about getting back to civilian life (I leave next Thursday), I find myself reflecting again on this past year in comparison to these last few weeks. All year I felt like I was just dying for affirmation, but no matter what affirmation I got it was not enough. I came here expecting to learn things but received so much more; I feel like all the affirmation I needed last year has been poured out on me here. It feels like everything I've put my hand to here has met with some measure of success.

The Lord has been so gracious to me. It seems to me that the lessons of grace the Lord has been teaching me have paid huge dividends here. It has often been tempting for me to be very hard on myself and expect an unreasonable standard of myself; I have used my 'get out of jail free' card often and it has increased my ability to do the work the Lord has given.

Thanks for staying with me and praying for me - I know that I would not survive these times without such a faithful prayer and friend base. Here's how you can be praying for me as I wrap up my last week:
- for continued divine appointment with paitents and staff
- for continued good working relationships with the Chaplains (that we'd all finish strong together)
- ***For strength and speed on my physical fitness test that I must pass next Wends (20th - 5.30AM)*** - that I would continue to engage all that the Lord has for me here and not 'check out' early

Community House

2007-06-07T21:21:00.000-06:00

What does it mean to be a family? I know, for those of you who know me well, you groan…yes, I’m on this topic again. But it is an obsession…so, we drive on…

What does it mean to be a family? (Dad, don't freak out, I haven't seceded from the King family, just thinking a little bigger). Since I’ve been working in hospital ministry these last few weeks, I’ve spent a lot of time doing family oriented trainings. Yesterday, I did one on the “7 Habits of Highly Effective Families.” Now, I’m not sure ANY family is shooting for “Highly Effective”…I think most would just be satisfied with “Maximally Functional For Where We Are In Life.” Yet workshops abound (I didn’t even realize…) and I’m beginning to catch some repeating themes: read the book “The 5 Love Languages” (so the suspense doesn’t kill you, they are: physical touch, quality time, acts of service, words of encouragement, and gift giving); have a plan or vision or mission for the family to focus on, be open to change and input from each member of the family, always be working on improving communication and good will amongst family members. Ok. How is this different from the Christian community working together the way Christ intended? This is a very old question for me, but one I’ve felt is perhaps not valid to ask until recently… so now I’m asking and I REALLY do want ALL your feedback – the good, the bad and the ugly. I'm tired of having this roll around in my brain - I'm willing to let y'all in a bit, so here goes:

I am 33 years old and single. There have been moments of deep discontent with my singleness, but I find they are usually when I am under an inordinate amount of stress and when the stressors pass, my craving to be married tends to go with it - not to say I'm not still open, but the urgency passes. This is forcing me to ask several questions: am I created to be single (now, do not read: without family, read: without spouse) for life? And what does it look like for me to have meaningful family as a adult? Most people have a biological drive to have children and thus, create their family. For whatever reasons, I do not seem to have this drive. However, this does not mean I do not want to have a family – I find that I very often want to gather other singles together and create a family in this sort of community (or perhaps adopt children some day). And I have thought this for a very long time. If I am to be single, does that naturally follow that I am to be without close family ties? I don’t think so, at least, I don’t read scripture that way… And I am finding there are others out there who want the same or similar things as singles and even as married couples…

In the last few months I have been thinking more and more seriously about creating something I think of as Community House (CH) (working title only, please don’t spear me over the cheesy title) – A place where three to five folks (married and/or singles) live together in intentional community, working in the home as a family – we have a common mission (here it’s still fuzzy for me what that could be), common commitments to Jesus and each other and our community at large. I envision a once a week dinner/bible study together where we can pray and touch base with each other (each member taking responsibility to led alternately). Now there are two tough parts to this for me: one – what’s the mission? And two – how do I do this as a member of the Army? (second one being harder to reconcile).

The mission thing, I think of two roads – one, we prayerfully choose a mission together and aim our lives and resources to it; I’m not sure this would be terribly feasible for most members of the community, as I assume they will all be well along in their careers. Two – we all do our careers, but use home as a touchstone to keep us grounded in Christian community (like a, oh say, FAMILY) and as a resource to love the hurting and lost people we come into contact with in our day-to-day lives. The problem I see here is perhaps feeling like we’d be starting a church or somehow conflicting with the community and ministry of the churches we’re involved in …humm…

The other problem, for me anyway, is how do I do this as a highly mobile member of the Army? And just in general, how do I keep a sense of community and family as I move every few years? Is this idea meant to be transportable? Am I supposed to establish these communities wherever I land? That feels schizophrenic to me…and not very ‘familyesque.’ I have no solution to this one. Though this will not be forever, it will be for the next few years...Thoughts?

As a parting note – the picture here is of a collage I did during that workshop yesterday. I'm not really a 'collage-type girl,' but I found I was very enthusiastic about this (which also inspired me to get off my duff about talking about these ideas). It is everything (well, mostly anyway) that I would like CH to be, represent and do. At one time, the things on this card were things I needed to receive, now they feel more like things I want to give; not to say I’m ‘fine’ or ‘done,’ just to say I’ve received so much of this my heart overflows.

So, I feel very vulnerable putting this out here, so do be gentle with me, but do be honest – is this something I should shoot for? Is it something good? Or is it a twisted idea from an adult who refuses to ‘grow up?’ Feel free to ask whatever you need to clarify any points. Thanks y’all, and as always, keep me posted on prayer requests and updates from your lives. – love, Ter

Army Practicum...

2007-05-28T22:14:00.000-06:00

Hey Team – just thought I’d put out an update. I’m currently in TX at an Army Hospital doing a summer practicum with the Army. I will be doing something called CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) in the fall, hopefully in a hospital setting, so this is GREAT preparation for me! Thanks for all your prayers and encouragement this past semester – it has meant the world to me. As far as I can tell, I did well in all my classes – so it looks like there’s only one more full year of Seminary! I survived Greek and Hebrew!! I’ve put off writing because so much has happened…where does one start? Well, I thought I’d give you a page from my recent journaling for your prayers and consideration…

25 May 2007
It’s been a better day, still emotionally exhausting (too much information too fast), but I’m starting to feel like I am beginning to understand more of the conversations here and am beginning to participate in more meaningful ways. I’ve wanted to get out to do patient visits the last two days, but other stuff keeps coming up, and then the day’s over. It’s frustrating because I can’t tell if I’m just hiding because it still makes me a little nervous to get started (I think I’m better once I get going) or if it’s just that there’s more stuff I’m trying to get a grip on and I don’t know when or if they’ll be offered again so I’m trying to capitalize on what’s in front of me. Some of both, I’m sure.

I participated in a Mass Casualty exercise this morning. It was sort of fun because the mood was fairly light (soldiers who were playing the injured were in great moods), but still somewhat stressful as I was trying to take it fairly seriously and learn (VERY quickly) what I should and should not be doing as a chaplain in such an event. CH Cotton was great to follow around today; he’s very patent with me.

I feel like I’m learning volumes about myself and this job – here’s my list so far:
When I am in culture shock and am not working with a team of people I know, I:
- Am mercilessly perfectionistic with myself
- Need to talk/connect with friends like mad (try desperately to re-establish security in at least one area/space in my life)
- Find it difficult to process large volumes of information, because I’m spending so much energy trying to not look like an idiot and connect with the person I’m talking to
- Get frustrated easily (feel very impatient and get angry quickly, though I usually do not express it outwardly)
- Feel overwhelmed, adding to all of the above

Things I’m learning about this job:
- It’s like many other jobs; there are people, tasks and systems – sometimes people loaf around and it fouls up others, sometimes people are apathetic about their work and sometimes they love their jobs and do it with enthusiasm; in or out of uniform, Americans are still Americans.
- In a Mass Casualty situation, keep asking people: where patients are being moved to (this can change frequently – keep paper so you can track what floors everyone ends up on); and how people are doing (staff and patients)
- When doing patient visits: ask what their religious background is and if they have people visiting them (offer to liaison with their religious group as necessary)
- This office is very laid back – I do not feel micro-managed; the chaplains here are very willing to help me grow and will stop what they’re doing almost immediately to mentor me (wow!)
- Marriage retreats are interesting to attend as a single person – I think maybe I’ll ‘provide’ for these rather than perform as long as I am single!

One thing did disturb me today at the MasCas. There was a ‘casualty’ who was dying and unconscious – I was available and called to pray over him and no one knew his name. There was nothing identifying him – no Army ID tags, nothing on his paper tag. I prayed for him as a Christian, but it felt so inadequate. Was there something else I should have done? In real life, I think this would have deeply disturbed me – I think I would have worked the hospital system a lot to try and get a name on him. No one should die without their name being spoken over them. It just seemed so sad.

As for the rest of it – the fake burn injuries, cuts, abrasions, disfiguring breaks, puncture wounds with debris sticking out of them…well, I think those images would bother me too, but I don’t know – I felt like I could handle being there. A lot of it could have been just that it was such a relatively ‘easy’ atmosphere. In any case, I do think I got a sense of what a chaplain does today. We pray, comfort, reassure and connect people. What a fascinating job…

Feeling Better...

2007-03-25T13:31:00.000-06:00

I was talking to a friend recently (I can't actually remember who...) but she told me that she's convinced that all of life is a continual process of tearing down and rebuilding. I think I can safely say that the last 10 months have been a real time of tearing down for me. The Lord is breaking my dependence on myself and my idolatry of people. Yet, strangely, he's not calling me away from trusting the instincts he has given me, nor is he pulling me out of community. I think this is a deep and mysterious (at least to me) work of grace happening in my life. It has been a time of fire, where I have loved deeply, been hurt just as deeply, and have fallen (read:*splat*) on the strength of the Lord more solidly than perhaps any other time in my life. I know He is real. I know He is FOR me, all the time, in all of my messiness, just as I am. I am both in awe of that and completely flabbergasted by that: why does he bother with me/us?!

In some ways, it comes back to identity, doesn't it? Am I: the thing I do, or the One I belong to? As I was leaving RI to come here, one of the deepest lessons the Lord was trying to impress on me was this cornerstone of identity: I am/was not a Campus Staff Member for InterVarsity, I am not a graduate student, I am not a 2nd LT in the Army. I'm not. I'm a daughter of Jesus; beloved, cherished child of God. This too, is a mystery to me...

Thank you all for praying for me and encouraging me, especially in light of my last post. It has been an impossibly difficult semester. But this is what it is taking to break me of my perfectionism, and I am growing in gratitude for the new freedoms that this is affording me.

I have 7 weeks left to this semester, and several large projects to still go, but I finally feel that I have settled into a place to trust and peace about the whole thing; thank you for keeping me close to God. I will complete my last Hebrew language class next week (it's only a 10week semester for that particular class) and it looks like I will be passing it respectable well (B-ish). This is sort of a fun thought: I started the semester at 18 credits (16 at Den Sem, 2 at my Denomination) and have wheedled my way down to 14 as of next week.

The following are quotes that have been resonating with my soul and informing my thinking over the last two years, I thought I'd share them for your edification:

On Communion intersecting life:
If Jesus doesn’t receive us, give thanks for us and break us so that he can give us back to ourselves and others, we will be left in our bundles of isolated deceptions. – Steve Thulson, a Sunday service, 2007

‘Love is as strong as death.’ There is a convergence of love with death in which both open the door to the unknown and uncontrollable. – Richard Hess “Song of Songs”p33.

The Shema (sort of rule of life) of Mother Theresa
The fruit of silence is prayer
The fruit of prayer is faith
The fruit of faith is love
The fruit of love is service
The fruit of service is peace

The Shema of Terri
The fruit of silence is choice
The fruit of choice is potentially wisdom
The fruit of wisdom is peace
The fruit of peace is love
The fruit of love is service
The fruit of service is life

The Shema of Hell
The fruit of silence is anxiety
The fruit of anxiety is despair
The fruit of despair is hatred
The fruit of hatred is self-service
The fruit of self-service is death

Idolatry…leads to disillusionment and despair. –Integrative Theology, p195

There is no pit that the love of God is not deeper still. -Corrie Ten Boom

If you seem empty of any feeling, rejoice- you are his ransomed bride. If those you cherish seem not to love you, and dark assails from every side, still yours the promise: come what may, in loss and triumph, in laughter, crying, in want and riches, in living, dying, that you are purchased as you are. – Peter Aschan (1726-1813), a hymn

It takes so much to be a full human being that there are very few who have the enlightenment or the courage to pay the price. One has to abandon altogether the search for security and reach out to the risk of living with both arms. One has to embrace the world like a lover. One has to accept pain as a condition of existence. One has to court doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing. One needs a will, apt always to total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying. -“The Shoes of the Fisherman’

Update on the 'Bat Signal'

2007-02-19T13:09:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang - I just wanted drop a quick note to let you know I'm doing ok - still overwhelmed, but not panicky anymore. I've been able to get a lot of the off campus work (interviewing various pastors and chaplains) done as well as my denominational conference (I took another class with them for a week). I seem to be catching up on my workload in an acceptable fashion. Thank you for praying - the difference was almost immediate. - more soon - keep it up! - love, ter

Spring?

2007-02-02T17:52:00.000-07:00

'Spring' semester; such an optimistic term right now... Well, here we are, kids - the heart of seminary: my last semester of BOTH languages, one pastoral theology class, one religious services class, one preaching class and two learning contracts (one on grace the other on pastoral identity) - anyone else hearing "...and a partridge in a pear tree..."

As you can tell, my humor is a bit off. I care a great deal about this semester - the things I am and will be learning will be foundational to my life in ministry; and that scares me to death. the implications of all that I'm learning feel very heavy and I don't know how to encapsulate what I'm thinking/feeling other than to say I feel overwhelmed on an almost daily basis. It is very hard to know the grace of God in the middle of this. And it's not because I think God is being ungracious to me, I think I'm allowing my fears to be the thing I focus on.

So I need you, body of Christ. Pray for me. Not that I succeed or even do well academically, but that my heart would know peace in this time of trail; that my victory will be communion with the Father in spite of the circumcises. It is the age old battle, I do know that - will I trust God or my eyes. You know where I long to be: entreat the Father to strengthen me to be there.

Thanks, friends. - love, Ter

Whoah Urbana!

2006-12-31T07:00:00.000-07:00

Reflections on my 4th Urbana (which represents 12 years of involvement with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship):
(St. Louis Arch at sunrise)

This is my fourth Urbana. I cannot believe I am here - and I mean that both sarcastically and seriously! My first one was in 1996 as a student, the next two were as IV staff and now as a Denver Seminary graduate student.

(Friends: former student, Sarah and friend from my church in RI, Jay)

For those of you who are new here, here's the quick update: I was an InterVaristy staff member for 6 years in New England (NE) working with commuter students in RI. InterVarsity (IV or IVCF) is a national and international organization on around 600 college campuses throughout the US with a ministry of campus outreach to students, staff and faculty. My time with them as a staff member (missionary) was both really good and really complex; I'm still, to some degree, sorting out the experience.
(Below: fellow former staff friends/friends from college, Doug and Patri)

Now then...
I was really surprised at how eager I was to come when the opportunity presented itself on campus back in Denver (I'm writing this from St. Louis, where the conference is being held). I think I understand why now.
This conference and week are about God's work and mission in the world and providing students with tools, contacts, encouragement and teaching for them to engage that mission with Him. (Frontier's missions exhibit tent) That message and those tools were given to me as a student and deepened in me as a staff member and now are part of my 'basic operating system.' I love this in part because it affirms some basic commitments I have to serve God to the best of my ability all of my life. I also love it because I love to see people learn, grow and pass on what they've gained.

All that said, I don't think that that's what my time here has been about. I have not gone to every session, run to every workshop or sought out mentorship the way I have at past Urbanas. I feel that my 'mission' here (aside from talking to students about my seminary, which was my 'paid' job here), was to reconnect with my old co-laborers and friends from NE. To encourage where I can, listen, and let them know I may have left in body, but am very much still there in prayer and love.

(Great old friend/roommate from college, Rose)
I had some very encouraging conversations with some folks in leadership and am so happy to hear that my region is healing and taking great strides forward in moving past some messy and ugly times; God is transforming. That brings me great peace to know. It was also encouraging to hear that I left the ministry well. In ministry, so much of your life is relationships and mine was no exception. I really felt that my supervisor did a wonderful job of encouraging me to follow God wherever He lead, beit on staff or not. But it was such a complicated time when I left, I was not sure I left well with my team and region. It was a blessing to hear that I had.

For me, this Urbana has been on of watching, loving and praying but from more of a distance than I've ever had here before. It doesn't make me sad, though, as I think it would have a few years ago. I have loved this week to meet and catch up with a plethora of old friends, students and staff. I have peace with the life I had in RI and with the life I'm leading now in CO.

.
(It's really dark, I know - this is the stage with the theme on it)
It's funny that the theme of this conference is the book of Ephesians - one of the most encouraging books in the bible next to the Psalms, in my opinion - and that the theme tag line is "LIVE a life worthy of the calling." When I got back from Mozambique three years ago, I made a vow with God that I would choose to live. That I would stop putting myself in positions that just felt like dying. I loved staff work in many ways, but I needed to move on, to grow and develop fully into the person God made me to be and I could no longer see how to do that on staff; God called me onward. Feeling a sort of 'death' the longer I stayed was a good indicator.
(Worlds collide: Army buddy LT Todd from the summer, and Jim Harding, a Regional Director with Africa Inland Mission) I love that the Lord is continuing to affirm and call me to truly LIVE and not settle for what is familiar or even comfortable. As scary as things can sometimes be in seminary, the Army and the direction of my life, I am finding that I have been honoring that call to LIVE. I guess it may be that it is better to be a little scared and truly live than to feel completely safe and stuck.

This week has been truly a blessing in connecting with old friends from a wide range of my 'worlds.' I was able to catch up with (or at least see) friends from different missions agencies I've been involved with, former students (love to the Sarah and Becca!) and have some wonderful times of catching up with old friends from college. Even my Army 'world' was here representing the Chaplain Corps - including a guy I was in training with last summer! I ALMOST brought my uniform, but didn't think we'd be here, so didn't at the last minute! Bummer!

(Friend and former student, Becca - aww...)
All that now said, I've also been working on a paper for my January term class that starts next week. *sigh* Please keep me in prayer for this class and next semester as always!

Oh - for those of you who are wondering - the blizzard (the first one!) was terrific! I helped a friend move during it and had a BLAST. There's currently (even when I left) an IMPRESSIVE amount of snow - I'll post pics next time as I need to go take some!
(The Denver seminary recruiting Team: Julie (the real recruiter - we learned from the Jedi master, herself), Douglas (a first-year, but we love him anyway ;) ) and Angela (fellow MDiv and worship leader on campus) - and our favorite snack...beef jerky)

Thanks for praying for me for this week as well as my seminary adventures - I really appreciate it! HAPPY NEW YEAR GANG! - Love, Ter

November Notes...

2006-11-25T15:52:00.000-07:00

Wow...What an amazing, difficult, learning-rich semester it is turning out to be. Thanks so much for hanging in here, gang - I really need you this semester and next. I've been studying the first half of the book of Romans in Greek this semester. For those of you who aren't so familiar with it, the first 4 chapters are talking about the total depravity of humanity and how we couldn't be any farther from God if we jumped. Paul is setting the stage for the amazing, unmerited free gift of God in Jesus for us. Have you ever had a time in your life when you just feel like you're living out a piece of scripture?

I feel that my life has been mirroring these passages these past few months. I know that I am ALWAYS writing/talking about the joys and trials of my relationships, and this post will be no exception. I've blown it really big with one friend in particular this semester, ended a relationship I was in and have been feeling very 'in touch' with how messed up I am lately. Not a pretty picture. I even feel vaguely justified in throwing myself a bit of a pity-party (which I have, thankfully, not yet indulged). But, as I said, I do feel that I am living the book of Romans right now. My state has been one of utter depravity and rebellion against God (to parallel the case in Chs 1-4).

Last week we started chapter 5. The Kingdom Strikes Back. "Therefore since we have been justified through faith we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand." (5.1). I've been a mess since I was born (so were you, BTW - sorry). Because of what Jesus did on the cross all our sins are dealt with - even the ones we're surprised to find ourselves in or didn't think we were capable of (even our mistakes). This is not a new bit of theology to me - I would have said that is what I knew and believed years ago. Somehow the message of peace and grace is striking me differently, more deeply in this time in my life.

A good friend and some Army aquaintaces this past summer spoke a word of God into my life. They said "you can't give what you don't have." Again, not earth shattering news or even logic. But it prompted me to ask the Lord what is it I don't have that I keep trying to give? I believe he told me I don't have real grace. I have a cheap version. A version that looks like grace on the outside, but does not have the weight and scandalous freedom that God's genuine grace contains. Romans is about a lot of things, but for me, right now, it's all about teaching me what is the grace of God

I've been realizing this semester that I have all these crazy personal rules for myself that I would NEVER apply to another person. And if I saw another person with these rule I would apply my whole life and mind to freeing them from them. It's stupid things like, 'it's ok if I get hurt so long as no one else does' or 'other people's time and lives are more important than mine' - stupid stuff that makes me more of a door mat than a true servant of God. Grace for 'blowing it' does not mean "whew...Glad He let that one go, I'll be sure not let it happen again;' it means something more like, "Thank you Jesus for loving me better than I love myself, encouraging me to walk in freedom and not being even vaguely angry or surprised by my sins and mistakes.'

*Sigh* It's been a deeply thoughtful semester. I'm really grateful for the way the Lord is shaping my character and for His ongoing care - I really do want to be more like him at the end of the day. I am continually surprised at the depth of depravity we're all capable of, but I'm trying to turn my focus more to the wonder of friends and 'divinely appointed' people God keeps dropping into my life to remind me that it's not all bad and that one day, it will all be amazing. We were, after all not created for a sinful, fallen world; we were created for perfect communion with God and each other (heaven?...that's at least part of it...).

The rest of my classes have been really good. Hebrew is very challenging and I don't anticipate getting as much out of it as I have in Greek, but it does look like I will pass it this semester (and do decently). I also have 2 history classes this semester - one Old Testament history of Israel and the Prophets and the other is Church history of the early church to the renaissance. I got to spend a little time studying the Crusades...very cool - I didn't realize they lasted over about 1,500 years or that they were so poorly organized and (for the most part) led.

Lest you think I've had no fun at all this semester, I've included a couple of photos of friends and events I've been a part of this semester. The ones with the pumpkin is my friend Susan's (and her dog Abby) - she's does this crazy 'monster-creation' garden in the summer and she's sitting next to a 35lb pumpkin that she grew (she's got another one that's 33lbs). We' split this (yes...I did get to use my machete...*happy*) the other night and looked up a variety of pumpkin recipe's (got any good ones? I'd love a good main dish recipe - I have a ravioli sauce one and a couple of soup ones...) I was also really blessed to have my old pal Bonnie out for a weekend - I took her down to Garden of the Gods and we found this cool little 'canyon' while we were exploring and catching up.

On the really exciting side (at least in my little world...) - I get to go to Urbana 06 - InterVarsity's tri-annual mission conference! It was always one of my all-time FAVORITE events when I was on staff/a student and I didn't think I would be able to go because I am a broke grad student...However! My school needed some students to go and represent the school as exhibitioners and I was one of the lucky 4 who got picked to go on this fabulous, all expense paid event! SO...If any of you plan on going - COME FIND ME at the Denver Seminary booth (we're planning on having a cool couch set up with at least one video game option...very fun...) - I would love to catch up with y'all!! Aside from all that coolness, I'm really excited to be traveling - I REALLY miss it.

As for Mike, the fella I was semi-dating, thanks for your prayers for us. It did not work out, but I know that God has good things in store for both of us.

Prayer reqs:
- We have 3 weeks left - I'm REALLY tired - please pray I have the will/energy to make it
- Pray that God will help me (and us all, I think) to accept His grace and be at peace with it all
- Pray for Mike - he is deploying to Kosovo for a little over a year
- Pray for Urbana - that God would be preparing me (and everyone involved) to be there - to receive and give what God has in store
- Please also begin to pray for me for next semester - I anticipate it being even more challenging than this one and I fear for it already...

Praise:
- I'm grateful/thankful that God is clarifying my relationships and making me a stronger person
- I'm praising God for good friends and 'drop ins'
- For a wonderful TG - I was able to be with friends from school and church
- For the opportunity to reconnect with 'loved ones' from my IV 'family' at Urbana

I hope you all are well - Stay in touch! - Love in Christ, Ter

Long Overdue Update...

2006-10-04T12:09:00.000-06:00

Hey gang - I know...I know...I'm a horrible communicator - I haven't written in MONTHS! I'm hoping to fall on your grace and mercy for taking so long to get back here.

Just to round out the summer 'camp' stuff - it was really an affirming and exciting time for me. Partly why I stopped writing was because there was not much of interest to report. It was largely classroom instruction after those first few weeks. The Lord blessed me with some great fellowship with my fellow pastors, men and women. I really loved my squad and platoon and learned SO much about the Army and male culture in general; the gang was very patient and willing to teach me what I needed to know.

So here we are in yet another fall and I've been thinking (surprise, surprise). This is shaping up to be a very stressful semester, but not a necessarily busy one. I am taking 2nd year Greek (we're studying Romans) and 1st yr Hebrew as well as a church history and old testament class. The two languages are consuming my life. In Greek, I am realizing that I have ABSOLUTELY NO concept of English grammar. Having moved 17 times by the time I was 18 wreaked havoc on my consistent understanding of our language; if my Dad hadn't been a writer I would have been sunk. My professor has loaned me a book on grammar, but I'm feeling rather hopeless about it right now...

In spite of all that, I am really loving my classes this semester. I am able to do some rough translations of our Greek text for the book of Romans and the Lord is speaking SO clearly to me. The book is difficult to get your mind around in the English, the Greek is even more rich. I do love the nuance that is being brought out.

Hebrew is proving to be a very organized language so far, much more so than Greek has been. Our professor is an amazing scholar in her field and she is an EXCELLENT teacher; very systematic, personable and (appropriately) tough.

Personally, I continue to grow in my friendships, making mistakes and learning how to let God be my very best friend. Ah, the elusive hunt for 'balance' continues.

Recently God has put a new friend in my life. His name is Mike. We met during the training this summer. He thinks I'm kinda' cute (and I think he is, too). I'm trying to not just freak out (failing miserably), but its been a long time since I did this 'dating' thing! Please pray for me/us - whatever comes to mind is greatly appreciated!

As far as ministry goes, I finally feel ready to re-engage in more formal ministry and the Lord has opened the door for me to be the coordinator of a small group that I'm a part of in my church. I'm really excited to be doing this - I'll be organizing, occasionally leading and facilitating the group. It feels like a good place to start formally leading again. Please pray that I wouldn't let my own warped expectations for myself take over; pray that I'm reasonable in my expectations for myself and the group. I really just want to continue to enjoy the group for who they are.

That's the scoop for now...

Prayer Reqs:
-Greek Grammar!!(that I would get it...)
-Stress (related to above)
-Mike...
-Sleep (related to all the above...I'm really not doing this all that well right now)
-Small Group ministry (we're taking about merging with another sm gr in the church that I know as we're both on the small side...I think this will be a good move for both of our groups...pray that the Lord makes it clear if that's true)
-Please pray for my friends Mark and Carl; these dear men have both recently lost their fathers and grieve.

Praise:
-Romans study (God is good)
-Mike
-time to do the work I have
-good friends who hope with me for the future
-For the interesting things He's up to in the world...

End of Week 2

2006-07-01T19:57:00.000-06:00

Look Ma! She CAN March!
This was my favorite thing so far - I got to rappel down this tower - that's me on the left out in the air.
Waiting in line for my chance to jump!

Well, we're back from the FOB - what a weird, crazy 'camping' trip! I didn't get many pictures from there as I didn't bring my camera (a disposable one would have been good here), but we essentially lived in tents for a 2 nights. Due to unprecedented thunder storms, we were unable to do a night land navigation course and were sent back to the hotel for one night in the middle of the training. They're super serious about our safety here. We did do a ropes course and have been receiving course instruction in: environmental law, humvee/motor pool protocol/procedures (and culture), discussion on our non-combatant status, and given time with the chaplains to ask our personal questions. It has been an incredibly physically, emotionally and spiritually challenging week (in a really good way for the most part). We were all really tired when it was winding down and the moral was sort of tanking. We have this weekend off, but have homework assignments. Today was nice for me. I had time to sleep in, do some errands and get most of my assignments knocked out for Monday. This week will be almost exclusively classroom instruction, so no more fun photos this week.

Week2.3 (Thurs/Fri)

2006-06-24T04:29:00.000-06:00

Hey Gang - I'm off to something called the Forward Operating Base (FOB) in a minute, but thought I'd update y'all. The last couple of days we've been doing various obstacle courses. Yesterday we did the confidence course (my personal favorite so far) - here are some pics from the range. I sort of cheated on my profile and did all the obstacles in my sneakers...my heal is VERY much improved and I had no problems with the course. I was also able to get better fitting boots yesterday evening - I STRONGLY recommend you get a pair called Altama's (we call them sneaker boots - they're light weight and the bottoms look like sneakers and they fit/wear like sneakers) - for those of you who are reading this with CHOBC in your future - either way, DO BREAK IN YOUR BOOTS BEFORE YOU GET HERE!!

Please pray for me today as I go on this exercise. This is expected to be the most physically demanding part of the course and I think is designed to simulate deployment conditions. Pray my heals hold up (left one is ok, but still a little sensitive in one spot). Talk to y'all in 5 days (we'll be back Wends). -Ter You had to shimmy down this upside down on your ankles (I didn't do this one as I didn't have boots on)
This is our platoon (PTL) leadership team - the PLT leader and 4 squad leaders, we had dinner the other night and got to know each other some.
This was the BEST obstacle - you had to walk over a log (climb over some stairs in the middle) and go up a ladder - after this you got strapped into a parachute harness and jump off a tower down a cable - HOKA HEY!

Week 2: Tuesday/Wednesday

2006-06-21T19:03:00.000-06:00

Hey Gang - not much to report right now. I did decide to have my heel looked at yesterday as one area was not healing properly. I am on something called 'profile' for the next few days and allowed to wear sneakers and not run (bummer there, but we haven't been doing any in PT this week, so ok so far). I just wanted to be sure I'd be able to fully participate in Sat-Wends field exercise we'll be going on this week - I hear we'll get to rappel the Victory tower - I CAN'T WAIT (or miss that!). So here are some pics (to the left are the offending footwear):

It was one of the women's birthday, so we all went out to dinner - we almost got all the women at this CHOBC - just missed one!

We do this 'bus' thing from time to time - can you pick me out? (I'll give you a hint, I'm on the left in the camouflage uniform...)

New friends: L-R: Ola and Kitisha.

Well, I'm outta time - thanks for rooting for me, I sure appreciate it! Stay in touch!!

Week 2.1 (Weekend + Monday)

2006-06-19T16:59:00.000-06:00

Hi Gang! The weekend was BLESSEDLY mellow and uneventful. Today was another story. Today I can officially say I have been gassed by the US government. We had to do the practical application of gas mask usage. They say it's it so we will learn that our gas masks are reliable and so that we'll be able to identify some with victims of a gas attack. Apparently this the gas they used on us is a version of the gas Saddam used to kill 1500 of his own people when he was testing it out. It's miserable, nasty stuff.

At first, I didn't think the whole thing was so bad - we marched into the chamber (20 of us) and the instructors in there had us line up shoulder to shoulder against the walls (we had our masks on before we got in there). One at a time they had us raise our masks, say our full names and social security number (this was so we'd get some gas in our masks and have to clear it properly). So far, ok, no big deal - I got to feel the gas (a skin irritant) burn my facial skin a little, but not unbearable. Then came the hard part. In order to leave we had to fully remove our masks and just be in the gas for 15 seconds. Sounds easy, right? I thought so. They warned us that we would want to panic when we took off our masks. They told us we would need to fight that instinct and stay in control. I fought that fight. When I took off that mask, almost immediately I felt my body begin to freak out. I couldn't breath, my eyes and face were stinging and it was very hot all of a sudden. I held it together enough to get out. I thought that would be it - ok, game over - now breath again and get on with it, right? Once I hit the air, all I wanted to do was hit the ground. I still couldn't breath or see and my skin still burned. I felt like coughing and throwing up all at the same time, but nothing would come out. (I'm so thankful I took a classmate's advice and skipped breakfast). I was also grateful there was a sergeant at the end calling encouragement to me to keep moving and flap and breath (you had to flap your arms to get the gas off you - the only antidote to this gas is fresh air). God was gracious; there was a cool (more so than the chamber) breeze that came up as I was walking out that really helped me clear the gas. It was really a scary thing for about 2-3 minutes there, even know this was minor and people were looking out for us.

As I did two short laps around a loop flapping, I really felt like crying. Not because of the physical ordeal (that really wasn't so bad), but because I know there are people who have died in that. It was a sickening, sobering, saddening thought that one human being could do that to another and leave someone to die in that. I've been pondering/praying about that all day.

PR
-Pray for people in countries where biological and chemical warfare is still practiced (Iraq, Iran, etc.); pray for God's mercy and protection.

Day 6

2006-06-16T19:19:00.000-06:00

(This is some of my AMAZING Squad! 2nd Squad, 4th Platoon))

Well, today was mixed. On the one hand I got to learn how to do something called D and C - Drill and ceremony (ie: how to march). That was really fun - the Platoons all competed at the end of the session to see who came out the best. My platoon (4th) came in 3rd of 4...not a total loss, but not a total win either...room to grow...(our motto is "Last Shall Be First"...we've got some way to go to make that true! This day reminded me of my college marching band. I hated it, but not the marching part - it was the playing an marching part I disliked (I never liked putting my instrument in jeopardy). I remember complaining to God about having to do marching band in college. Today I had to apologize for that criticism as the Lord used it to prepare me for today. *sigh*

The mixed part was that someone called our SGL (Staff Group Leader - a senior Chaplain and trainer here at the school and our direct officer commander in the 'official' (non-student) ranks) assigned us a 2 mile/2x a week march in our new boots. Well, as you can imagine, that didn't go so well - the picture to the left is of my left heel - hamburger. Rubbed the skin right off on that hike last night - which of course, made today a virtual nightmare to walk...I did what I needed to do, but couldn't hide the limp. Got a lot of care in it, though. The guys all rallied around me throughout the day with helpful suggestions and one did a stellar job of bandaging up the wound so I could drill today. I really don't want to miss anything and am thoroughly enjoying the training. I knew I'd have most of Saturday off (out of boots), so I thought I'd just push through today. Got through it, but was a little too short with a Colonel who adjusted me quickly - we're ok, I apologized and he forgave and kindly ordered me to have an NCO (non-commissioned officer) look at my ankle (which I did). It more just tried my patience today than anything else - I don't want to be injured this early in the training (I'm so happy my PT test is over!) Tomorrow, I will rest and get lots of air on this.

PR:
- Pray for Keith, one of my squad members - he had to quit and go home today due to a crisis in his church. It was sad for us all to see him go - we know what it took to get here. We prayed over him as a group as he left.
- Pray for quick recovery of my heal(s) (the other one's a little banged up too -yes, I know about mole-skin and inserts and wearing an extra pair of socks- am on it!)
- We are preparing to get gassed. (really) We were issued gas masks today and will receive training on how to use (deploy) them Sunday afternoon. I've heard lots of gnarly stories about this experiance, so pray I acquit myself well.
- We are also preparing to spend a week 'in the field' at something called a FOB (Forward Operating Base) - don't know what this is or where - but we've been issued everything from Kevlar helmets and flack jackets to sleeping bags - sort of sounds like an extremists' camping trip...Pray what ever comes to mind ....
- I'm having to do 20 pull ups a day (my whole platoon is thanks to SGL - just to stregnth us, not to punish) - I can't even do 1 - my platoon has to help me up over the bar - please pray I would at least get to the point where I can do a couple - I feel bad making these guys work so hard!
- Please also pray for me as squad leader - there are a lot of responsibilities (it seems like I'm learning new ones every day). Pray I do well, or step aside gracefully should the need arise.

Thanks for all you who have been pulling for me for the PT test these past 2 years! I couldn't have done it without all you ongoing encouragement and support! Thanks Nancee for sending me a terrific letter (my first mail here!)!! Thanks Lynette for calling/debriefing with me most days!!

Days 4-5

2006-06-15T18:12:00.000-06:00

I PASSED MY PT TEST COMPLETELY!! I did the 2 mile run in a personal record of 19.30 (or40)something (I never did get the exact time), did 50 sit-ups in under 2 minutes (I gave out at 1:30, really), and 20 (one kinda' squishy, but the scorer let it go) push ups in under 2 minutes. I also passed the weight requirement! This was a diagnostic test, so it means I am in terrific shape to be taking the 'real' test in three weeks. Today was very exhausting. Not much to say about yesterday - we just got issued some gear and spent a lot of time waiting around for stuff. Tomorrow is the first day we will all be in uniform...I'm very excited...
but now I need to sleep...(3am wake up call for 4am drill...) - peace, ter

Day 3

2006-06-13T15:08:00.000-06:00

Great day today. We learned a lot about Military courtesy and customs, did more paperwork and did a little PT instructional. Apparently there's a hurricane on, so we've been getting a LOT of rain. It was cloudy, but not raining all day until we were doing out PT - then it decides to rain. Of course. Here's a shot of me after our first PT in the rain. We also re-formed into Platoons (4 Platoons make a company - as a class we form a company); I'm in 4th Platoon and am 2nd Squad leader - learning tons and have great guys to work with - and yes, I am the only woman in my platoon. We start PT pre-testing tomorrow, though my platoon won't go until Thursday. I'm a little nervous about that, but there are a lot of folks here who will need to work on their PT and the instructors have been very encouraging about it so far.

Prayer Reqs:
- Continued flexibility
- Ability to learn quickly all the things I will need to do and be accountable for as squad leader.
- God's mercy/grace/gifting to be a good squad leader
- Good sleep - doing better here, but still needs to be even better than it is!

Thanks Gang! - love, ter

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

2006-06-12T18:40:00.000-06:00

Day 1-2: USACHOBC (US Army Chaplain Office Basic Course)

Well, here we are kids! Like the guy in this stock photo to the left, I feel that I am somewhat dangling in mid-air, but loving ever minute of it! After two years of planning, prayer and preparation, I have safely arrived at Ft Jackson, SC and have been getting familiar with the base, people and culture of this Ft and my new mission to Military Ministry. So far, VERY COOL. We've been treated EXTREMELY well so far - given lots of 'hand holding' and grace as we're being shepherded to the various paperwork/instructional events we have to attend. We're still in civilian clothes (civies) but will probably be 'suiting up' starting Friday. I've already made the cardinal mistake of volunteering (*GASP*) to be a squad leader - no idea what I'm doing, but thought it would be the best time to volunteer - the expectations are low and grace is high. So far all I've really needed to do is make sure/lead my squad onto a bus, line them up in formation and collect some money from them - a little stressful since we are a class of 131 people (incidentally, there are 7 of us who are women and apparently this is a class record!). The guys are great so far and are living up to my expectations for pastors and officers; I expect that image will take some 'scuffing up' over the next few weeks, but what can one do? We got uniforms, ID badges, 'dog' tags (ID tags), registered our vehicles (POVs - Personally Owned Vehicles) on base and did a billion other bits of paper that will at some point result in getting paid. We start early (getting earlier every day), but are not yet doing PT (Physical Training)- that starts later this week I'm told.

Our class motto is "Pro Deo et Patri - Get It Done!" Which we shout at the top of our lungs at the beginning an end of each group session. I'm rather wrapped up in the novelty of it all still and am loving that I have a 'battle buddy' (and that I get to say things like "Yes, sergeant I have a Battle Buddy!" and "Yes , Moving ," then running to the object of the conversation (just picking up papers so far).) The moral is terrific so far, just a few people seem to just really not be happy, everyone seems at least ok. Our sergeant Dawson tells us there is no such thing as a bad day in the Army - a Bad Day is when someone comes home dead. We just have good days and great days. Whoa.

I'm living in a single hotel room. It's fairly scuzzy (just found out we have roaches...!!....), but I am alone, have cable TV, VCR/DVD and high speed internet. I also have nights and weekends off. Not a horrible life so far. I guess the pace will be more bent toward the days. I also do not yet have home work, though I hear I will at some point.

Today's Prayer Requests:
-Good/restful sleep (worry-free)
-For the Chaplains/soldiers here who are having a hard time being here
-God's protection of my heart and mind as the 'games' begin
-Solid connection with Jesus as my leader/guide and friend here
-Continued good connection with the other women here (we've already experience some AWESOME fellowship together, but it will be easy to forget/loose in the business of the days)

Thanks for checking in on me! I may not have time/energy to write you back right away, but I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear from you here. I will try to update this every day or two (as much for a journal for me as to keep you in updated prayer!) Blessings and Peace, Ter

End 'O the Year Reflections...

2006-05-02T18:04:00.000-06:00

Wow, I can't believe I've finished the last week of my first year in seminary last week. What a whirlwind! It has been an amazingly healing year for me. God is very deep into 'restoring that which was lost.'

It's amazing how quickly the Lord can help you build a life. I haven't been sleeping terribly well since I came out here. I have awoke many times with the thought of "what will become of me" ringing in my head. It's been a very unnerving thing to be in a place where I have no established relationships and limited knowledge of the area. But despite that, it has also been a wonderful thing. The Lord has blessed me with two new close friends, my friend Nancee who I introduced you to last time, and recently my new friend Lynette. Lynette's been a real gift to my soul in a number of ways - she a compassionate listener, deep thinker, and fellow musician. She's also a blast to hike with - she's filling me in on all the floral and fauna in the area. This is us hiking Bergen Peak.

It is funny to me now, that when I came here I was so dead set on not becoming deep friends with people again. I knew that wouldn't last, but I held out for a while! I love that the Lord sees what we really need and knows what we really mean when we tell him things. He knew it wasn't that I didn't ever want to have close friends again, it was that I was tired of getting hurt in my friendships in the same ways. So not only did He put these amazing people in my life who care for me and whom I can care for, but he also He continued the work of teaching me boundaries in my relationships.

I have to do 5 semesters in the mentorship program here. It's a self directed study encompassing two contracts a semester, one on developing an aspect of our character and one developing a ministry skill you'd like to improve on. In theory it sounds great, in reality, it's logistically nightmarish. One must meet weekly with 2 mentors of your choice (but you have to have the same ones all semester)and work through a 5 point plan that you write at the beginning of the semester which includes academic as well as relational aspects. This was my first semester doing this and I did my contracts on Friendship (Character contract) and Worship (Ministry Skill). A book I read and highly recommend in the area of thinking through friendship is Alered of Rivealux's Spiritual Friendship. There are limited things about Alered's perspective (he was a 12cent. monk), but many of the principles he discusses surprisingly still hold true in our would. I found it very helpful in my thinking.

Academically, it was a good year. I passed 1st year Greek (yea!) and have already begun looking at next year's assignments - I'll be studying sections of the book of Romans. I have completed 36 credits this year, which is 1/3 of the program, so I am right on track with that; Lord willing it will continue to be so!

I guess the real news right now is that I will be heading off to Ft. Jackson, S. Carolina next week. I have been anticipating this time for nearly 2 years. I find myself nervous in a way, but more curious and excited at this point. I feel physically ready (barely, but there none the less). I'm a little worried about the whole 'screaming drill sergeant' thing, so I would appreciate prayer for that.

The Lord has also blessed me with a really great small group Bible study in my church. They're going to do a little prayer/BBQ/send off thing for me in our group this Sunday evening and I love that they're supporting and encouraging me. I'm inviting Nancee, Lynette and my other friend David who is a Chaplain Assistant in a unit I'm trying to get assigned to - terrific guy, been teaching me a ton about Army culture and practices.

Well, that's it for now - I'll try to update here once I get there, I hear I'll have internet access, but it may be a while. If you want to send me a snail mail this summer here's the address:

Chaplain Officer Basic Course
LT. Terri King
10100 Lee Rd.
Ft. Jackson, SC 29207-7090

I will be back in RI after the course is over (I couldn't came to the East Coast and not come up, right?). I expect to be there from around July 25-Aug 3. So if you want to hang out, let me know! My cell is still the same: 401.368.2080.

Summer Prayer Requests:
- Physical fitness- PLEASE pray I pass my fit tests and that my knees hold up well.
- Psychological 'warfare' - please pray that I can stand up to the 'psych' games the Army throws at new recruits.
- Academic - this will be a lot like taking more classes, please pray I have a sharp mind and excel at whatever they give us.
- Travel - I will be driving something like 4,000 miles this summer - pray that my truck holds up and that I don't get into any accidents.
- Family - my step father Elliott, will in all likelihood have passed away by the time I get back to RI. He has struggled with kidney disease for the last 20 years and is finally at the end of what his body can cope with. Please pray for my mom Hilda during this time. Pray too for Elliott's adult sons as they struggle with loosing their father.

Pics from this year:

My good friends Natalie and Melissa came out to visit early this past semster and we were able to go to a National Forest - we got a buck of close up pictures of this heard of elk!

I was blessed to spend a week on a S. Dakota, Lakota Indian reservation a fews weeks ago as part of my degree. We were able to drive out to the badlands one afternoon - here they are!

My first day in uniform!

2006-03-25T09:39:00.003-07:00

Well, this is my first day in uniform - can you pick out what's not right about this picture? ( no cover (hat) while I'm outside (they didn't have the cover in my (freakishly small) head size, so I'm waiting for it to get in), Earings, and no American flag on my sholder - these got overlooked - oups!) It looks like I'll be starting to work with the 502nd Hosptial unit starting the first weekend next month! I'm very excited! It will be a good opportunity to do an informal internship before I go to training this summer.
ION - thanks for praying for me, March has been a much less painful month than February was; menotr stuff is resolved very well and that is beginning to bear fruit. Please keep my Greek in prayer, its been a real struggle this semester. Peace, Ter

Prayer and Encouragement Needed...

2006-02-24T16:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Prayer and Encouragement Team -
Greetings from sunny Colorado! The title of this month's entry may be a bit alarmist, but it has been a significantly more complex semester this time. Classes are not proving to be much more difficult than last semester (though Greek sure has stepped up a notch), its just been relationally exceptionally challenging. I feel like I left RI with lots of mixed feelings about friendship, mentoring and ministry and God, in his wisdom and mercy, saw fit to give me a break last semester in regards to all of that. However, now is the time he has chosen to begin healing and moving me (hopefully) forward.

I have two professional mentors with the seminary's mentorship program that I am required to meet with weekly as well as a professor led, peer group on campus that I am also required to meet with weekly. While in theory I love this and feel that it will be a great tool in moving forward personally and professionally in life, I am struggling deeply with how to have/keep the boundaried God has spent the last six or so years teaching me how to have. It is the expectation of the seminary that I will share deeply with these people and grow through the experience (which I do think can happen) and so far (for the most part) they are proving to be people who are/will be worthy of trust. The trouble I'm having is the speed with which I'm feeling I should 'get into stuff' with these groups. I have sort of rediscovered that it does take me a while to warm up to people to the point where I'm willing to share the deeper parts of my inner world. (Of course, as some of you know, once you get into that you can't shut me up!) It's a bit of a shock for me as I haven't been so 'rawly' new to a place since my freshman year in undergrad. So I think that's part of the culture shock here for me, too.

God has not left me without resources, however. In addition to the wisdom, grace and love he has poured out on me, he has also given me two folks (in addition to a few others I am still getting to know) who are quickly becoming very close friends:
Josh and Nancee. Josh is a early twenty-something fellow MDiver who is married and lives in Boulder. He's very 'New Englandy' in spite of never having been there - I think he'd fit well in Boston. He's into literature/poetry and sarcasm. Nancee is a married, mid forty-something, occasional women's pastor, Counseling/Chaplaincy major. She came up to me last semester and said, "Hey, I always see you running around. I want you to stop and be by friend. (!)" - I thought that was both hysterical and direct enough for me to be intrigued. They are quickly becoming points of prayer, encouragement and listening ears in my life.

The Lord is opening some very cool, but scary doors for me in military ministry. I recently made a contact with a Army Chaplain Major in the reserves. We had a great conversation and I have hopes that he will be an informal mentor in helping me bridge the gap into the military world. He is trying to help me get assigned to a unit starting next month. I'm thinking it will be a sort of informal internship sort of thing. The other cool, semi-scary thing the Lord has opened up for me is the chance to play with a worship team on Buckley AFB - I started last week and had a great time (the drummer is as 'rhythmically flexible' as I am!)

I guess the last thing on my mind this month is that I got my first uniform yesterday. It's the new pattern - grey/sandy, digital patterned. This is probably the thing that has made this whole Army thing feel the most real so far. It was a monumentous thing to me. I found myself praying on the way home that the Lord would give me strength, grace and wisdom for the time when there is blood on this uniform (my own or someone else's). Perhaps it's a bit melodramatic (I know I can be), but it was what came to mind. It doesn't diminish my desire to do this job; just feeling some of the possible weight of it.

Prayer requests:
- Emotional stability in all areas of my life! (I've had enough drama for this semester!!) Pray too that I would start handling the many new people and roles in my life with greater flexibility and love and less fear.
- Help and wisdom in relating to one of my mentors (long, complex, dramatic story you're better off not hearing)
- Motivation/time/energy to complete assignments due this month
- strength to keep up my running regimen

Praise:
- For new good friends
- For one mentor who really 'gets' me and is a good mentor/friend to me
- For conflict resolution with the other mentor (we worked some stuff out really well)
- Fred (my truck) is holding up well!

Two Announcements:
- My friend and brother in the Lord, Bill Kinneman went to be with the Lord this week. He always prayed for me and responded with encouragement and joy to anything I wrote him. I will miss him. I thought I'd pass this along as some of you may know him or his family but not yet have heard. Please pray for Barbara (his wife) and their grown children and grandchildren.

- My Friend Irene Eng Wong and her husband Will just had their first munchkin Caroline this past Tuesday the 21st!! Will reports that Irene needed a C section, but that mother and baby are doing well; they went home today. I spoke with her briefly and she sounded good!

I hope you all are well - stay in touch! - Love, Terri

Thoughts on Theology...

2006-01-16T19:18:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang- well, the grades are in - I pulled off a 3.2 and the worst grade I got was a B - PTL! For the last week (and upcoming one), I've been embroiled in the first of two semesters of what is called "Survey of Christian Doctrine I" - otherwise know as Integrative (or systematic) Theology. So far, I absolutely love it. This is a shock, as I thought it would be a pointless exercise in dogma - but far from it. I am finding invaluable information in solidifying my own theology as well as application to practical apologetics. This weekend I have been deeply wresting with understanding Calvinism and Arminianism. I have quickly come to understand there is a deep divide in these systems of theology and those that stand behind each position. I have to give a presentation on Arminianism this week, so I have been focusing on this position mostly. It seems that it have been both deeply defamed in history and (at least somewhat) twisted in modern application; thus most Calvinists view Arminianism as aberrant theology. The real issue seems to be over predestination. Hard core Calvinists seem to hold that God preordained the Fall, thus salvation was planed from the beginning of time and that certain people are preordained by God (elected) to go to heaven and some to hell - this is supposed to maintain God's sovereignty . Armininism seems to hold that God has offered his free abounding Grace to all, and though he (may?) know who will accept and who won't, it is up to humans (free will) to choose or deny this free gift of grace in Jesus. Calvinists feel that this position undermines the sovereignty of God, while Arminists hold that the Calvinist position makes savaltion compulsory (you don't have a choice of being saved, God has either counted you in or out already). Let's get some discussion going on this - I'm leaning toward Arminism at this point as it seems that Calvinism makes God manipulative at best and whimsical at worst! Attached are a list of redicously complicated words that I'm learning - thought I'd throw them in for kicks and giggles!

Theophany - a physical appearance of God to a person
a se - from himself (aseity)
avatar - an incarnation or embodiment (usually referred to in Hinduism)
Monism - the doctrine that there is only one ultimate substace beit matter, mind or a third thing that is has its basis in both
Demiurge - creator
Plenitude - whole/entire
Soterlogical - salvation through Jesus
Propitiatry - to win or gain the good will of
adumbration - foreshadow; sketch; overshadow
Supralapsarian - hyper-Calvinist doctrine that believes God's plan of salvation and election began before the Fall
Infralapsarianism (or Sublapsarianism) - moderate Calvinist who believe God' plan of salvation began after the fall
tautological - needless repetition
Teleogically - final causation
Reprobation - rejection by God for salvation

Please Pray this month:
- I need a good plan for meeting with my mentors - pray that this would come together well (it's a mess right now)
- Transition into the new semester (I'm taking fewer credits (14))
- A plan to visit RI - I'm finally getting a little home sick - pray that God would show me how to visit and when
- Witness here at my apartment complex: there are many here who might benefit from an informal Bible study and I'm thinking of starting a group or test-piloting a group - pray for discernment.

Whoooh

2005-12-20T11:57:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang! It's officially over!! (thankyouJesus) It was a good semester; though all the grades aren't in yet, I believe I pulled off a 3.0 overall. The last few days have given rise to reflection and refreshment. It has been a very streaching semester and time, but in a good way for the most part. There have been a few sleepless nights, but more over the transition into being a Coloraden and single here than over classes. I feel good about the work I did this semester and content in my progress with friends. I'm also profoudly grateful for my friends back in RI. Though I may not have gotten to talk to many of you as much as I would have liked, I have been happy and grateful for your friendship and support. I am between worlds and feel content in God's grip of grace.

I thought I'd share some nuggets I gleaned this semester, mostly though my Gospel and Acts, New Testament class with Dr. Craig Blomberg - you may know these, but they were (mostly) new to me!
- Paul wrote his Epistles before the Gospels were written
- The cursing of the Fig tree (When Jesus was entering Jerusalem) was an illustration by Jesus demonstrating the impending judgment and destruction of Israel
- Mark was written around 20 years after Jesus' death/ress.; which makes it one of the most reliable document history (most biographies about a famous person weren't recorded until hundreds of years after the fact)
- Luke and Acts were originally meant to be one continuous book/ presented together (and together they form a chiasm!)
- Paul was tri-lingual (Greek, aramaic, Hebrew) and wasn't afraid to contextualize the Gospel when necessary
- The feeding of the 5,000 was primarily to a Jewish audience; the feeding of the 4,000 was primarily to a Gentile audience (signifying Jesus' upcoming call to the nations)
- The healing of the deaf mute in MK 7:31-7 was meant to e a sign of the age to come where people would be healed by God and be able to hear and speak clearly

Well - hopefully that was fun! Over the break, I'll be doing odd jobs, resting and studying Greek to prepare for next semester. I'll be taking an interim class from Jan 9-20 and start the Spring the semester on the 23rd. I will be taking a more reasonable 14 credit course load. I'll be taking systematic Theology I (Jan 9th class), Sys. Theo. II, Greek 2, Epistles and Revelation, Mentored ministries (2 classes of this), and The Many Faces of Chaplaincy.

Praise God:
- For a successful semester academically
- New friends and community
- Old friends

Pray for:
- A restful break
- Good short jobs/projects
- Finances
- stregnth for the next semester

WOW!

2005-11-29T21:50:00.000-07:00

Hey Gang - Thanks so much for all your prayers! It's been a SUPER EVENTFUL month! So much so, that I had to write early.
First of all, thanks for the prayer for midterms - it really did last for 4 weeks ending at Thanksgiving break. So far, everything I've gotten back I've done well on though am still waiting to get most grades back (Keep praying those miracle prayers!)

My first Thanskgiving in CO was a smashing success! My good friend Michele (old roommate from College) came out from RI (AND tutored me in Greek as she has recently finished seminary herself!), three people from my apartment came and two new friends (Sara Massy and her sister Jill - for those of you who know them) from back East came as well.
We had a great time getting to know each other and sharing what we're thankful for this year. It seemed like it was very meaningful for all of us in very different ways. Some folks didn't have anyplace else to go and no other offers, so this was a really blessing to them (and me too!) We had dinner at 1:30pm and I kicked the last guest out at 10pm; a good time was had by all.
Next piece of news! I am officially 2LT Chaplain King! I finally got my paperwork over the break and swore in officially this morning! My advisor in the school is a retired Air Force Lt Co., so she was allowed to swear me in - see pics! I will be scheduled to got to basic this summer! I'm really excited about this - I've been working on it for SO long and was wondering if the Lord was really going to let me do this after all! Thanks to all of you who keep me in prayer about this new calling!

Prayer for December:
Praise God:
- For such success so for this semester!
- For surviving midterms
- For a new mentor! (We got 1 - a wonderful covenant pastor - Win Jackson-Houwen)
- For the EXCELLENT apologetic conversation I had with my neighbor Jeff - I was able to ask him to help me with my paper at the TG dinner and we talked last Saturady for 4 hours! I think trust was built with him and God is beginning to be revealed!

Pray:
- I still need to arrange 1 more mentor for next semester - pray that God would set the right MILITARY person for me (preferably Army!)
- For stregnth to finish well - two weeks after this one left!
- For wisdom about what to do with the Christmas break and good rest before tackling a January Term class (ystematic Theology I)
- Pray for Jeff - he's not super far from the Kingdom - pray he comes in!

Also, would you pray about helping me out with book money this semester? If you were thinking of giving me a gift for Christmas, that would be what I need most - thanks! - Ter

I think I can...I think I can...

2005-11-09T21:44:00.000-07:00

Hi y'all! Sorry its been so long - midterms spread out for three weeks, and I'm still shoveling out! (I'm just down to one Greek exam and a 13 page paper due next week.) So much has been happening, and yet so little's really new since our last 'chat.' I've settled into a fairly good routine of daily study and spending time with new/growing friendships. It has become increasingly difficult to balance the hefty load I've taken on at school with spending time with people to develop truly quality relationships. So far God has been very gracious to me in balancing my time. I'm mentally fatigued, but emotionally pretty good (a nice change of pace from my former life). There are some things that I'm in great need for the Lord's intervention - please pray with me this month for:

- I really need 2 mentors starting next semester. Part of my degree requires I have 2 mentors, one in my field and one in my denomination. My pastor here is praying about taking on the role, but it looks like he's going to be too busy with other DenSemers who've already asked him - please pray for wisdom for him as he prays to decide if he can mentor me as well. Baring that, please pray God gives me a good other option in my denomination (I think it has to be locally). So far, it also looks like both my mentors will in all likelihood be men. While this is not inherently bad, I would appreciate prayer that God would somehow contrive for one of them to be a wise woman - I will be working with these folks for the next 3 years, it'd be nice to have one wise woman's voice as well!

- Please pray for continued good health and strong will to finish the semester well. Though I am though the most difficult part of the semester (finals doesn't look as bad as what I've just done), there are still lots of details to be cleaned up - I still can blow it - please pray God's strength for me.

- I will be having an apologetic discussion with someone in my building this month (probably this guy named Jeff). This is for my apologetics class, but please pray it would be a good and right conversation with the right person. That God would give me skill, grace and courage as I take this up in the next few weeks. Pray the Jesus would be spoken, heard and received!

- Please pray for me especially these next 2 weeks as I take this Greek exam and write this paper - I'm very nervous about them both and they count significantly towards my overall grades in both classes.

- I live in a relatively poor apartment complex in a working class neighborhood. For Thanksgiving I've invited my building to get together to share the holiday. So far there are few takers, but pray that Jesus would call the stragglers (like me) together and that no one would feel shame at having no where else to be. Pray that it would be an opportunity to share the love of Christ in each other's fellowship here.

Thanks Gang - your notes and prayer are truely a blessing on my life - Love, Ter

It's Getting Hotter...

2005-10-05T21:52:00.000-06:00

Hey Gang - well, I sit down tonight to write you in week 6 (of 14) - almost halfway there! Boy, is it getting hot in here or is it me? I see why folks were worried about me taking 17 credits this semester...don't think I'll do that again...Classes are going well so far, though I am heading into the heart of the semester in the upcoming weeks. I am nervous about it all, but so far am holding it together. I met with my advisor today and she seemed to think I was on the right track, so that was encouraging.

In the meantime (i.e. the rest of my life...yes, there is a little), Church has become much more friendly - I think people are more sensitive to new folks now that it's the fall. I've joined a short term small group that meets Tuesday nights (it has folks who are new or haven't been in a small group before) and I'm checking out a Sunday night group that meets every other week. My pastor is in this one and I think I want to ask him if he'll be one of my mentors for the next few years, so this is a chance to get to know him better in the context of community as well as get to know others in the church. This group only meets 2x a month, so it's a little easier on my academic life.

On the job front, I've picked up a little sideline gig cleaning a house twice a month and I just started teaching guitar to a guy in my church. These are fun, don't eat up a ton of time and pay well. This is helpful, as I think Fred (my truck) is about to have some more problems...

On the life front, I've found myself thinking a lot this past month (what's new...). I've been re-opening some issues of singleness that I thought I'd put behind me. This has been somewhat disorienting and anxiety producing, but I think it's something I've put off for a long time. In RI (no offence guys!), there just wasn't anyone in my circles or place in life available to date. Out here, both in the seminary and in my church, there are (Spiritually) attractive and available guys...I'm really not used to this...So, unfortunately, I see some of my old defense mechanisms coming out (to fend off guys I know/knew I shouldn't have dated), but now there's no good reason for it, I'm just nervous.

This readily ties into a 'Theology of Suffering' I've been thinking about/ God has been developing in me for the past few years. Part of the argument goes like this: The Gospel was never designed to make us physically safe (read any NT book - the church was under constant persecution from within and without) - it was desined to give us the truth and show us the way out of our sin - in fact, a large part (quite probably the main way)of how the Gospel was spread was due to the persecutions driving Christians to the 'ends of the earth' (great commission anyone?) and the witness they gave as they stood under unjustified persecution. There's more theologically I could add to this, but I do actually want you to read this so, I'll be brief(er). (And don't worry, I'm not out of touch with the Joy of the Gospel, either.)

When you ask an American what to do about a problem, they will almost always say, "Solve it." When you ask a Canadian, they will almost always say, "Cope." The early church was powerless to solve the problem of their suffering; they had to cope - involving prayer, hope in God and the resurrection. I guess, as the singleness thing hits me, I'm struck by two things: one, I feel aware that there are things that I am free to do because I do not have a family whose wellbeing I must (and would want to) put ahead the mission I'm involved in. On the one hand that's appealing, but on the other, it can be very lonely at times. I do know that I am built to work best in partnership, and marriage, it seems to me (you married folks can chime in!) that even if you and your spouse aren't in the same line of work, having a 'home base' with each other can be a pretty great thing. Thus comes the suffering part. Which is better? (I don't buy that 'better' is the right qualifier...) Is it merely a matter of what you can stand (ie cope with, or perhaps even just be content with)? That feel like a negative argument for both singleness and marriage...I don't like that... A friend gave me the book 'Sacred marriage' before I left RI, and while I haven't read it yet, I did read the back (lame, I know). It posed a great question - what if marriage is more about making us Holy than it is about making us happy? I've been thinking about that one the last few months as well. (Don't worry, I don't think life is all suffering, just trying to figure out (solve? humm) what is a Biblical life that must, necessarily (Christian or not, even!) include suffering.

Well, that's it for now, my brain is fried. Do feel free to comment on this and PLEASE pray for me. Sorry about the heaviness of this one guys!

October Prayer Requests:
- 2 major papers due this month; please pray that I would have time and spirit to do the necessary research and that I would truly be changed by what I'm doing. Pray that I would be able to keep up with the workload.

- social life - God is developing one for me. Please pray that I would be wise in how I engage it.

- Singleness stuff...

- Please pray for my truck - I can't afford to have it seriously break down right now.

- Please pray for my Dad (Leo) and his new French wife, Christianne - they are becoming involved in the Mormon church and are going through the joys of the first year of marriage - pray especially for Christianne as she is going through culture shock on top of it all (they live in FL).

-Please pray for my 'soundness of being' - sorry, don't have a better way to ask this.

Thanks guys - love y'all- Ter

Wicked Smaat

2005-09-09T11:30:00.000-06:00

I can spell and understand the Greek Alphabet. I now understand the progression of time between the second captivity (Persian rule) in the Bible (Jeremiah) and Jesus' preaching. I can now leap tall buildings.... no, wait, that's next week...

Hi! It's been an enlightening two weeks and, not to mention comprehensively exhausting! I have literally spent ALMOST (not quite, due to re-developing the discipline of 'all consuming work' - that's a virtue, right?) every moment not in class, reading. I've read about the History of Biblical Interpretation, History of the Jews, Greek Grammar (!), Apologetics (in SPADES!), the crisis in the N. American church in Mission, and (thankfully brief due to everything else) Learning Styles. For the most part, I'm having a great time! (Bonnie - you would LOVE my apologetics class - it's scaring the socks off of me! The professor is very opinionated, but also very rational and direct.) I am quickly becoming a coffee drinker (still just decaf, but I know...it's a gateway drug...but tea takes too long now in my little bubble)

In the social scene (yes, there is a mild one still able to function), I've started running with Jessica, a USAF Chaplain candidate and I'll be studying with Sarah this Saturday for Greek. I'm still getting together with Jennifer (my next door neighbor) occasionally and am considering taking on a 4hr a week cleaning job with her to save some $ for books next semester. My world is a lot smaller here and I am still in the phase where I appreciate that, though my tendency to network and include people is making this a difficult lifestyle to maintain! I am finding though, that I will need to read/study/write during most of my waking hours. I am aware that I may have bitten off more than I can chew. Despite that, I still feel that I should continue (at least for this semester) and see what comes of it.

Times with God have been very encouraging. I've felt very disoriented especially these past two weeks as I've been adjusting to the workload, but I have felt the Lord encouraging me in this endeavor and giving me great patience and grace with myself and others. It has been of great encouragement to me as well to get various ems and letters of encouragement from you all - I have counted them among the ways the Lord is caring for and encouraging me here. Please, do stay in touch! (Though it may take me longer to get back to you now - but please don't give up on me!)

Prayer Requests:
- I've been hearing from some of my former students at RIC and it sounds like they're doing GREAT; as such, they're under some moderate Spiritual attack, so please pray with me this month for them as they get back into the swing on campus and meet new people (including their new staff worker Kathy Cooper!)

- Please pray that God with continue to 'terraform' my mind so as to be able to process/integrate complex material quickly - pray this especially for my Apologetics class - there's a lot to catch up on here in terms of learning about formal Logic and Philosophy.

- Pray that I would acquit myself well on papers that are beginning to come due starting this week and as I learn a new paper formatting style. Pray that God would give me favor, inspite and wisdom as I write.

- Pray that God would continue to show me a proper balance of work and play here - that I would have enough of both.

- Please send me any prayer requests you have as well - we do pray at the beginning of each class and it is not uncommon for us to bring our personal requests in as well.

**Please note, that due to the increased work load, I'm going to have to start writing monthly now - though I will still be checking this site daily to see what y'all have to say!***

Bureaucracy and the Mundane

2005-08-30T18:23:00.000-06:00

A slice of the mundane...

(Early July)
Me thinking: I need to close my RI checking accounts, I will call and find out what I need to do to cancel them...

Me calling the bank: *a million 'self-serve' menus later* Hi! I need to close my accounts, I'm moving and you aren't in my new area.

The Bank: You can't close these accounts this way.

Me: Oh. Ok, how does it work?

Bank: You must submit written notification.

Me: oh. ok. Thanks...

Bank: Have a nice day.

Me: ok.

(Letter sent early August; Mid August - reply from the bank sent: We cannot accept this letter dated 8/14/05 (copy enclosed, lest I forgot). It is not notarized. Ok...)

Me (at my new bank, freshly printed notice of cancellation in hand): Hi! I need you to notarize this so I can close my accounts in RI.

Them: I can't notarize this. It doest have an Acknowledgement of Certification form at the bottom for me to sign.

Me(beginning to loose it): Ok - where do I get that?

Them: I don't really know, they always come to me this way - try Kinkos or Office Depot.

Me: ok. i'll be back.

(off to Kinkos)

Me: Do you have a Acknowledgement of Certification form or stamp or something?

Kinkos Guy: No, I don't know what that is even - try Office Max.

Me: ok.

(off to office Depot)

Me: *Normal Spchele*

Sales Guy: Try isle 36, though I'm not sure if we have it.

Me: *in isle 36* There are lots of forms here, but none of them are the one I need.

New Sales Guy: I don't think we have that - try a lawyer.

Me: *sigh*

(I went home and found it on the internet, downloaded it, printed it and brought it back to the bank where the mission was finally accomplished. Now we have to see what my RI bank has to say. I'll probably have to submit DNA next.)
_________________________________________________________________________________

The End of the Mundane!

Well, I've finally begun classes! Hooray! I had my first class today: Ministry in inter-Cultural Contexts. (Mission 501) I like my first professor and am looking forward to the 3 papers I'll be writing for her. It seems like a lighter class (in comparison to Defending the Christian Faith). I met up with some folks from Orientation and am looking forward to working with them

The other event today was that I sat down with my new pastor, Steve Thulson for 'get to know you' chat. I'm more convinced than ever that this is going to be my spiritual home for the next 3 years and so wanted to go the next step of seeing if there's 'room' for me. It was a wonderful meeting of sharing ideas and getting to know each other. I was also able to meet the worship pastor David and let him know I'd like to serve with him if he'd like. It sounded possible. I love what the Lord is doing in this church; it sounds like He is calling them to more central time in prayer and calling them to a ministry of healing. I feel like I've come at the right time for me and for them. I'm feeling more and more at home here. Thanks for remembering me in prayer - it sure matters.

Prayer requests for this week:
- Please pray that I would find a small group that I can belong to in Centennial Cov.
- " for God to build my 'reading endurance' as I will need to read hundreds of pages a week for classes.
- " for God to continue to build my relationships here, especially with Kaila and Jennifer and the not-yet-Christians at my Gym that I'm getting to know.
- " for my health and safety as I continue to adjust to life here and a new schedule
- " for my professors: that they would have wisdom and love as they lead the students this semester.
- " for God's ongoing healing and redemption in my life.

Friends...

2005-08-22T17:44:00.000-06:00

Well, dear friends, I last wrote you a little over a week ago. Time has passed and some events, both small and large have occurred! First - thanks again to those of you who have sent books this week - its been great to get packages every couple of days! (Thanks Seun, I got the compass back JUST before going on a hike - it came in VERY handy!) In some ways, life is settling in here. I go on walks or bike rides with my new friend Jennifer (next door neighbor) a couple of times a week; I've started a Tae Kwon Do class in my gym Monday and Wednesday evenings; I go to the gym most mornings, do e-mail in the afternoon, watch TV a while, check e-mail, and be available to whatever comes up. Sounds boring, I know, but it's nice to have any routine right now.

My pool of people is beginning to expand. I went back to Centennial Covenant Church this week and loved it again, so I'm thinking I may not do as much 'shopping' as I thought I'd have to do. Folks are beginning to talk to me a little more and I'm feeling a little more comfortable there. I went to a 'Jazz, Arts and Sunset' event at the church this past Sunday evening with Jennifer and got to talk to a few more people. Each day a little more comes together, usually when I'm not looking.

This was a special week for me as I had my first guest out from RI. Julie McMurry came out after a conference she was attending in 'the area' (she was in Wyoming - which around here is fairly close by, by CO standards!) and had to fly out of the Denver Airport. We had about 3 days together of hiking (Garden of the Gods (above is a pic from the park - it's called the Kissing Camel! we also went to Red Rocks and Bear Creek), vegging, and exploring. It was good to have a friend nearby. Julie took me horseback riding for my B-day, but it was her first time on a horse; I had the best of all my worlds - someone to worry over, nature and a horse!

Prayer requests for this week:
-For a good time connecting with Amanda, a 3rd yr Denver Seminary (DenSem) student I will be meeting for lunch this week - she's a rare female MDiv student, so I'm looking forward to gleaning from her experience what I can about being in the minority in our program.
-For my school Orientation - this Friday 8/26
-For the school picnic on Saturday 8/27 (I really don't enjoy smooze fests, so pray that I have a great time and that it can be a time of use/ joy for all of us and not a time of awkward survival) (pray for my attitude about this...)

Thanks guys - you all bless me SO MUCH. Thank you for praying for me and staying in touch - I am truly blessed.

Happy Birthday...

2005-08-15T12:30:00.000-06:00

I had a TERRIFIC birthday. Thanks so much for praying for me; it could have been a miserable experience. I woke to the sound of the ringing telephone- Ken Lundberg was calling wish me well for the day and to say they were NOT going to sing the H.B. song (in the meantime, Ruth (his wife) started singing in the background - CLASSIC!). I felt adventuresome and downright frisky (an unusual occurrence since my move), so I got my boots on, dug up my hiking hat and filled my camel back (water/backpack). I took a look at my map, remembered a place called Red Rocks from my earlier trip here in April and set off. I had a great time hiking in what's called the foothills. After that, I went home, and had dinner with Sara Massy and her sister Jill (fellow N.Englanders who came out from VT - Sara was a former IV student at Roger Williams, introduced to me by my good friend Bonnie). We went to this great little Thai place near downtown and I ordered the HOTTEST thing I think I've ever eaten - it was a wonderful curry dish (it made Sara cry when she tried it!). After that, we went back to their place and hung out for a while and had ice cream. It was a lovely day.

I think I'm beginning to feel more at home here. I think my birthday was a turning point. I wasn't afraid to go out and wasn't worried I'd get lost or my apartment would get ripped off while I was away. Do keep praying for me in this area, I know I'm not 'out of the woods,' yet.

This past weekend I went up to Bear Trap Ranch (an IV camp here in Colorado Springs - about 2hrs South of me) to visit a friend and one of my former students at RIC. Becca is a wonderful, wise and intelligent young woman who has been doing summer staff work at the ranch and will continue into the fall, returning to school in the Spring. Do pray for her transitions and return to school and home. I had a great time catching up with her, commiserating on culture shock and bopping around the camp some.

(I couldn't resist passing this one on - it's a gate door, but no attached fence - the sign says 'Keep gate Closed.')

Life Begins Again...

2005-08-08T13:04:00.000-06:00

Greetings from Sunny Colorado! Well, it's been about a week since I wrote last and I must say, it's been a good but exhausting week. I got out a bit and got to know the area some - found a mall this week and got a great area map book. This was utterly exhausting, though not impossible. As most of you know, when learning your way around RI you go by landmarks (usually from Dunkin' Donuts to Dunkin' Donuts) - currently existing or no longer existing (you know, where that bank used to be...). Here it's all about the compass. 'We are located on the NE corner of the plaza.' Now, I've spent essentially my entire life in RI which is to say my sense of direction is completely corrupt - I have to think really hard to tell you which way is North. And if it's nighttime, I'm really in trouble. Here it is very helpful that the Mountain are to the West. The only down side to that is that you cannot always see the mountains (I get a little panicky when that happens). Needless to say, it still sets my blood pressure up a few points every time I go out the door.

Some victory points for me this week are as follows:
- Found where to buy milk and rent a movie!!
- Got a cheap couch!
- Went on a walk with my new next door neighbor Jennifer on a local trail (above picture is from there)
- Got back into my gym routine (my lungs could only take 10 minutes my first day at 5.5MPH - really sad compared to my 30 minutes at 5.6-6.0MPH in RI. But today was better - 25mins at 5.5/5.6MPH)
- Went to my new Campus and got my book list!
- The Army found me and got me papers, I'm a little closer to being commissioned!
- Went to Centennial Covenant Church this week! (Very cool, I'll be surprised if I've found a church on my first visit, but I am seriously thinking I may have.)
- I'm note sure if this is a Victory Point or not, but I'd appreciate your prayers as I consider being an International Student buddy from the local college.

Some final thoughts:
It is really funny to me that after 4 domestic missions projects and 4 overseas (three of which I trained students to be on)I am still experiencing culture shock. I know from my training that it doesn't ever go away, you just get better at recognizing it and praying though it, but I think a part of me thought it wouldn't be so bad because of all my travels (additionally 30+ moves throughout my whole life). I am praying. I know Jesus is here and he is working out his plan for me here. He is establishing my life. I am reading Jeremiah and finding comfort and strength. Thanks for all your prayers for me as I begin this new life - I've especially appreciated all the e-mails, note cards and phone calls - I feel well loved and supported! Please continue to remember me in you prayers!

Some of you asked to help out with my book list for the Fall, so here's a list of my classes and the books I will be needing. If you'd like to buy me a book and send it to me (or if you have it and are willing to part with it) or send $ for books, I'd really appreciate it - just let me know ASAP so I can coordinate the effort! I should have my books accounted for by August 29th (first day of classes). You can send books/$ to Terri King, 3445 S. Downing St. #211 Englewood, CO 80113. (See lt. blue block at the top of this page, too for address/phone.)

Oh, yeah - FYI, it's my birthday Friday (12th)- so this would be a great present!! (Cards are also really great to get!)

BI 501 - Effective Biblical Interpretation
- Introduction to Biblical Interpretation; 2ed ed. - Kline, et al
- Slaves, Women and Homosexuals - Webb
- NIV Dictionary of New Testament Theology -Verbrugge

NT 511 - Understanding the Gospels and Acts
- Synopsis of the four Gospels - Aland
- Hammond Atlas of Biblical Lands - Frank
- Jesus Creed - McKnight
- Jesus and the Gospels - Blomberg

PR 501 - Defending the Christian Faith
- No Doubt About It- Corduan
- Truth Decay - Groothuis
- On Jesus -Groothuis
- On Pascal - Groothuis
- Jesus in an Age of Controversy -Groothuis
- Without a Doubt -Samples
- Scaling the Secular City - Moreland
- Complete Guide to Apologetics and Philosophy of Religion - Evans
- Rule Book for Arguments -Weston

IM 501 - Intro. To Ministry in Intercultural Contexts
- Introducing World Missions - Moreau
- Missional Church - Vangelda

T/M 500 - Intro. Spiritual Formation and Theological Education
- Soul Keeping -Baker
- -OR-
- True Faced -Thrall

EM 501 - Foundations of Teaching and Learning
- Introducing Christian Education -Anthony

NT 501 - Learning NT Greek I
No book list yet...

The Journey...

2005-08-03T13:28:00.000-06:00

Greetings from Englewood Colorado! So, here's the story:

Friday, July 29:
Greg and Sarah Johnson, Cheri Markward, Stuart and Andrew McCoy, Jenn Traficanti, Scott King, Christina Milner and Karen Pasquale (I hope I didn't forget anyone!!) are my personal HEROS. These guys got all my stuff out of the apartment and loaded into a 5x8 trailer and my little 4x2 Pick up truck in a record 3 hours. Stuart and Andrew got the whole loan 'battened down' for the haul with an amazing display of bungi-chord prowess and I was road ready by 5pm.

This was right on time for me, as I had hoped to be spending the evening just hanging out with folks and saying good-byes. It was a borderline magical night for me, as I saw some folks I haven't seen in months. I am so grateful to all of you who were able to come out (or send your thoughts/wishes) and help me bid a fond farewell to RI. Special props to my end of the night crew - you know who you are.

Saturday July 30th:
The long drive began at a very reasonable 7:30am. I pulled out fully loaded with the love and prayers of my friends very close to my heart. This was a long day to drive, as I had gone to bed late the night before, so I knocked off at 6:30pm. Follow the loving advice of Phil and Jonna Axelson, I stopped over in a small hotel at the edge of the Pennsylvania border. It sort of felt/smelled like an old beach house, but it had cable and A/C. I was sound asleep by 9:30. The drive itself was relatively uneventful, but it was an AWESOME day to begin catching up with folks. THANK YOU SO MUCH to all of you who called me on the road - I really felt like I was road tripping with a whole gang and not alone.

Sunday July 31:

Got on the road again by 6:30, had a good breakfast at a Dutch Inn (I think it's a chain from the 50s) - they had the cutest baskets there (I almost bought you one Ruth, but I couldn't think of where to put it!!) and began to think and pray about the upcoming day/s. More driving and phone calls today; pushed all the way to the edge of Illinois. Following the loving advice of Karen Pasquale, I stopped at this really cool, obscure camp ground and pitched my tent. I've been wanting to camp FOREVER, so it was nice to be able to a little. The camp was on the edge of a little pond and there were crickets chirping all night (I like that sound, so it was soothing, not annoying!) I tried to journal some each day, but it really wasn't coming to me. Jenn T. gave me a cute little travel journal thing with crayons, so I mostly just did that at night. It was hard to think beyond the road trip really. I knew big changes were coming, but wasn't able to put any real face on them. I was asleep by 9:30 again!

Monday August 1st

I was on the road by 6:30; breakfast was a non-descript PowerBar. I was really hoping to make it the rest of the way. The road had smoothed out considerably the previous day, which had made it much easier on my truck. But it was not to be; the road got really hilly again, which kept my average speed a decrepit 55. It was really boring going though Indiana and Illinois - you've seen one corn field, you've seen 'em all.

It got better in Missouri - more rocks, different crops, more contour to the land. Pushed all the way to the edge of Colorado this day - I decided to knock off at 10pm and not drive through the night (though I was SORELY tempted). Against everyone's loving advice, I picked a rest stop, pitched my tent on the lawn beside my truck and went to sleep under the stars. I've always wanted to do that, so it was cool for that, but it was also very loud. It was also very windy there, so it was hard to tell what was someone sneaking up you or was the wind pushing the grass against the tarp bottomed tent. So, I didn't sleep super soundly, but it was ok.

Tuesday August 2ed
I pushed on at 4:30am from the rest stop and arrived right in the middle of rush hour traffic in Denver. I finally made it to my apartment around 9am. God must have really been with me because, after all that, I was able to off-load all my stuff except 4 pieces of furniture by 3pm (I took at break 12-2) - and I didn't even mind, it was just fine - I actually enjoyed it! The Lord really blessed me that evening too, because Sara Massy (a former IV student from Roger Williams Univ.), her sister Jill and their mom came over and helped me with the last few pieces and also unpacked a bunch of boxes for me. We then went to dinner at a local sub shop.

(home!)
It was so nice to see people I even vaguely knew. When I took my break from 12-2, I had gone next door to a local Thai place for lunch. I got the food to go, as no one else was in the place and it's just weird to eat alone in a public place no one else is in. I got home, had lunch, read for a little while and decided to take a nap. That's when it hit me. I was laying on my bed, but not in my room, my apartment or even my state. I suddenly felt like crying - and boy did I ever! I'm still pretty fragile; the reality of what I've done has begun to sink in. I really miss everyone and everything about my life in RI. I'm in the full-blown grip of culture shock; knowing that doesn't make it easier. I was grieving the fact that I didn't know where to buy milk or rent a video last night. Every box I unpacked set off a cacophony of protest in my soul - something like, 'AH! Don't unpack that! Don't throw that box away! We aren't staying that long!' I talked with/ cried on/ prayed with a couple of friends, ferociously fought off the urge to get back in the truck and drive home and sang some worship songs. The Lord sent Sara and her family along at just the right time - the evening of the first day of my new life in Colorado.

There were (emotionally) good things about the day too. My next door neighbor is Jennifer. She's super cool and nice - has a very friendly cat named Dutchess. One of the downstairs neighbors is Debbie - also super nice. The building manager I've been dealing with was here and she greeted me by name and showed me the ropes of the place; she was both professional and kind.

Wednesday August 3rd:
Today's been ok so far. I got up at 7:30, had breakfast and began the task of assembling my life here. First order of business was to get back on line - so here I am! Next was to drop off the trailer (which is really great, because I didn't feel comfortable whipping around town with it on which only made me feel trapped here.) and hit Wal-Mart - I have an answering machine now!! Which reminds me: I had a landline! Please do use it - 303-781-3375 - I will be trying to rely on this more now and cut back on my cell phone. My cell number will still be good for the next few weeks, but it will be changing soon! (I'll let you know the change!)

The other fun thing I did today was to visit my Seminary and get a copy of my schedule! I found all my classes and said hi to a couple of folks I'd met back in April. It was a weird, but nice experience. The campus is gorgeous. (I'll send pics)

Thanks for all your prayers and love for me - I don't know how I could be here without them. Please do keep me in prayer; this is something I've been waiting for, but it's a hard change. I love you; know you are in my thoughts today.

Here I Go!

2005-07-24T17:50:00.000-06:00

Well, here we are - the last week!!! Omygosh, I'm freaking out right now; I'm in the middle of a largely dismantled mess (formerly known as my living room). The pie sale went great - folks were really generous with me. I feel good about my finances right now over all. I've GOT to work out my driving route in the next few days...ahh, the joys of a schizophrenic mind...Oh! The other big news - I PASSED MY ARMY PHYSICAL last week!! I've been getting more paperwork from them this week - it looks like the next step is to have my file go before a review board in September and once that's approved, I'll just need to be sworn in - CRAZY. I'm 31 years old and I just joined the Army. I can't believe this is where the Lord is taking me...

Don't forget!!
This Friday - July 29th from 12p-12a will be my last hurrah party - come say good-bye - my house is 35 Whittier Rd #2 Pawtucket, RI 02861 (so you can mapquest it)- I need some help loading the truck, but after that, it's just burgers and dogs for everyone!

Prayer Requests for this week:
-Good packing/junking of stuff time
-That I'd get it together and get my route planed
-For the impending paperwork I need to do for the Army this week (that I'd do it)
-For my mom, who feels like she is loosing her best friend in this move
-For Ken and Ruth, my 'grandparents' who feel like they're loosing a 'grand daughter' this week
-For my diet (that I'd continue to maintain one this week)
-Please keep Friday in prayer - I think it'll be the day I bawl my head off...

New Address:
3445 South Downing St. #211
Englewood, CO 80113

18 Days...

2005-07-11T07:35:00.000-06:00

The Lord has graciously provided an apartment for me! It looks like my new address is going to be 3445 South Downing Street #211, Englewood, CO 80113. It's a neat little 1 bedroom. So far, I have the housing, trailer rental, packing and road trip plans all underway. The details that I can work on now are mounting and I'm finding myself getting more anxious - I woke up at 5 this morning, made myself stay in bed until 6, then got up and did touch up work on the deck to my apartment (I've been refinishing it for my landlord in exchange for some off the rent). After that, I showered/breakfasted and finished my 30 page application for the Army...It's been a productive morning! I'm really starting to feel that I won't be here much longer - feeling more sad about that. I'm working on my last project here - I've decided for a final school/move fundraiser to sell pies. I've been working with this absolutely wonderful elderly couple in my church and the wife, Ruth, has recently given me lessons in fruit pie making. The pies are exquisite (and most people in my church know it), so I don't anticipate this being a waste of time. Please pray for my next few weeks - whatever comes to mind will be greatly appreciated!

Also - I'm going to have a Moving Party on July 29th - I need help loading up my truck and would love to spend my last night in RI with all you friends and family. I'm going to have burgers and dogs available - so do come right after work! I'll have the truck from around 12pm on - I hope to be done by 6 or 7 (not anticipating lots of help during the day), so we can all just hang out in the evening (no specified ending time, so come late if you want!).

One Month to Go!

2005-07-01T11:36:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm just setting this up, but today is July 1st, 2005. In 29 days I will hit the road headed for Englewood, Coloardo (a suburb of Denver). I'm excited, anxious, and curious as I look to the future. At this point, I've decided to join the US Army, if they'll have me, and pursue some time learing about the work of Chaplaincy. I wrestled a long time with whether or not this is a calling and have decided it's an invitation. The Lord has presented me with this idea and an opportunity to persue a long term dream of serving my country in the armed services (though I won't get to be armed...). More later, let me get more aquainted with this system... :>